Thursday, February 26, 2009

Those Were The Best Days Of My Life

You know the song, "Summer of' 69," "those were the best days of my life..." Now, while I sure didn't have a "six string," I can assure you, for me, thinking back, my 11th and 12th grade years were "the best years of my life." Why do I bring this up you may wonder? Well, just a few minutes ago, before my son made a huge mess on the floor and I had to abruptly end our "Instant Messaging" session, I found my best friend from high school! When I left the children's home after graduating, I went to live with my grandparents. A year later I moved to SC to live with my dad. I guess it was then that I lost all sense of reality; started hanging out with the wrong people, drinking, smoking, partying.... just went nuts. It's like I wasn't the same person any more... I can't describe it. Anyway, the last few days, my oldest daughter has had me thinking about memories and my past. I got frustrated with her because I have tried so hard to not think about the past. She told me that I needed to stop running from my past, it was, what it was, you've learned from it, enjoy life and have fun! Hello.... I have tried so hard to block out so much of my past that I don't know who I am anymore. Now, I know who I am, but what I am saying is, "What happened to that care free high school girl who was going to take the world by surprise? That loved life and was passionate about living and laughing... what happened to me having fun? It's like I've gotten lost by trying so hard to blot out the bad, that I've forgotten the good. I don't know if any of this makes since, all I know is that I felt like a teenager tonight, wanting to chat and talk and catch up like....like my 16 year old does! Wow... I haven't been able stop grinning just thinking about those days.... friends, football games, boyfriends and first loves.... wow! As painful as it is because I have missed 15 years of their lives, I am thankful for my memories; and I am thankful for my daughter's persistence in getting me to find Kristie.

Now, I have been praying for a girl named Cindy. She celebrated one year "clean time" yesterday and has been leading The Most Excellent tonight. Please pray for Cindy. She needs to be guarded and stronger than ever as she begins serving the Lord in this ministry.

Also, I have been asked to lead the meeting tomorrow night for The Most Excellent Way. I used to teach regularly. I haven't taught a Bible Study in over six months... been tough teaching when I was struggling so bad. I still can't seem to get clarity on the direction the Lord wants the study to go in, so please, please pray for me about this and for tomorrow nights meeting. It starts at 7:00 and goes until 8:30.

Thanks...and I guess it's OK to remember when.... :)