Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Retaliate or Submit

As I write this, this very moment, there is a battle over my mind, will, and emotions. While I am not at liberty at this time to discuss the details, my heart is hurting so bad it hurts to even breathe. I never knew I could experience such pain. I attended a Most Excellent Way meeting last night, for me. I needed a safe place I could go and just sit, listen to a Bible Study and not be expected to "be" anything. The Bible Study was on submission. Go figure. At that moment, the Lord spoke to my heart, "Are you going to run from the very thing you have been asking for, for years, or are you going to see it through?" He then said to my heart, "Are you going to retaliate in the flesh, or submit to the Spirit?" Every ounce of my being wants to retaliate. BUT, something from deep within just won't let me.
I'm not sure if I will be blogging much over the next few days or weeks, but I will be back. I serve a risen Savior who is the Great Physician.
I would treasure your prayers for my family.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Pace High School VS Satan

Please take a minute to pray for Frank Lay, Principal of Pace High School in Santa Rosa County, along with the student body. You can red about current events on my Pastor's blog (Ted Traylor,) my husband's blog (, and Pensacola News Journal.

My Pastor has also been asked to "fill in" for tomorrow's Baccalaureate for Tate High School. I don't believe it was a last minute "fill in," I believe it was the Lord's plan all along.

Please pray for our nation, continue praying for our President, pray for our school boards, pray for our teachers, principals, for our students.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I'm Free To Be Me!

OK, first, stop and click this link and listen to the words of this song. It's amazing.

Echoing Angels FREE (This will take you to my myspace account, which will start playing the song automatically. Hit the back button to come back to this post.)

Now, in order to share the "wowness" of my morning, I have to be real about some thing I would rather nobody ever know.... sigh....

I have a huge pride problem, non-content problem. I struggle with the "why's" and "why nots" big time. Now, that might seem silly to some, but it's been a huge problem for me.

I have struggled with envy, wanting what others have. "Why can't I have that, why do we struggle, I want a boat, I want a new house, new furniture, why do we have to struggle so much, why, why, why....why can't I belong to a group, place, why does my name not mean anything... why? Why do they have an immaculate house and yard, why do we only have one car, why?" Here's a tough one, "Why am I so fat?" I hate the way I look, hate it! I avoid people I haven't seen in years because of it. I hate the way I look. Why can't I look like others that are thin and can wear cute clothes without bulges?! I have lost friendships and backed away because of those hurt and jealous feelings. I have wanted to be involved with a group just be recognized, for someone to notice my heart or maybe good deeds. Nothing. Ouch, crappy place to be. Does that mean my actions were false, I hope not, I don't think so. For me, my intentions for involvement were genuine, but the hope of recognition still gleamed. Does that make since? If it doesn't, that's OK; because it makes since to me. I also struggled with pride. I convinced myself that I was not boasting on me, but what on the Lord had and has done in my life, but man do I see how I was using that for name recognition. Ouch again. "Father forgive me." I knew it was all about the Lord and what He had brought me through, but I played on that.

Sunday morning, while sitting in the 11:00 a.m. church service. Pastor Traylor began speaking. Now, folks, He was speaking of the Holy Spirit, the Helper.... and hadn't even started really preaching, when I started scribbling on my Worship Guide. I wrote, "Free to be ME! don't have to have a group, or name recognition, I am called to feed people, to love on people-nothing else matters." Whoa. I was a little freaked by this because in that very moment, He showed me all the people I had affected that week. Nobody had to know, but at that moment, I saw how my obedience to what I consider to be "little," or maybe "non-important," was huge. Now, I don't mean that arrogantly, I mean, huge in regards to "Kingdom Work." I was overwhelmed with aweness at that very moment, which continues still.

I have a passion for feeding people. Years ago I thought that meant the homeless. Now, while I do believe that the Lord is going to provide a way for me to feed the homeless, what He showed me was that each and every living person becomes hungry on a daily basis. He showed me, that in order to reach their heart, to really get them to listen, I had to feed their stomachs first. If a person has a choice to listen to their stomach rumbling or a person sharing Christ, they are going to listen to their stomach every single time.

I have had the privilege of being involved with feeding people for the last six years. First at Olive with running the kitchen there; then I started making these Chicken Pot Pies, and friends and family started buying them here and there, then I started working at Pine Summit cooking on Wednesday's for dinner, and continued to sell pies and other casseroles I make. Now, I am not working. In the last few months I have made more pot pies and casseroles than I can count. I am feeding people, while also bringing in a little to help. My passion... to feed people. The Lord has given me the "free reign" ability into a person's heart by filling their stomachs ya'll!

What the Lord showed me was this past week, I was doing what He has called me to do. To love on people, sometimes the unlovable and unwanted, sometimes those people are in the pew next to me..... sometimes its a young girl who gets pregnant and just needs to see Christ in someone not passing judgement, sometimes in an alcoholic who just can't beat this thing, or a woman who can't stop having affairs, or a child who really wants to do better, but doesn't know how...., to put my arms around a woman who has been hit, to listen to that ever soft voice that says, "so and so needs a card..." and get up and send it. I don't have to be involved in a group to listen to the Holy Spirit speaking within me or have name recognition! (I guess the sermon from Sunday does go along with this!!! I got goosebumps!)

This morning I sensed the Lord leading me in a different direction for my quiet time. On July 7th 2008, Eddie Echarri, who has gone on to be with the Lord, gave me a Bible for my 10 year sobriety. It is a NKJ translation and a Nelson Study Bible. The Christmas before that my husband gave me a HCSB. I found that I was continuously going to that Bible Eddie gave me for cross references, definitions, and such. Last week, I started picking up the Bible Eddie gave me first, in fact, I used it in Church on Sunday. This morning, I did a word search on the word "Free." There are 11 cross references for that word. Underneath the word "Free," were the following words, "Freed, Freedman, Freedom, Freewoman." I was intrigued with "Freewoman." I've been a Christian for a little over 10 years, and while I have much to learn, I was shocked I had not seen that word before. I looked up the scripture reference of Galatians 4:22 and 30. I then went and read Galatians 4: 21 - 31. You should go read it. BUT, that's not all that happened, "Freeman" jumped off my notes, so I looked up I Corinthians 7:22. Oh my goodness, that's when it happened. I was given the confirmation of what the Lord was telling me on Sunday in church! I went back to the beginning of the section, verses 17 - 24, ya'll, here's what the title of the section is called in my Bible, "LIVE AS YOU ARE CALLED!!!" Hello.... can I get any bigger goosebumps?! Now, I have read this passage before, but it was not until, that I truly was given insight to this passage. Instantly, my "Why can't I have a new house, furniture, a second car, more money, name recognition, abilities, my body".... those why's seemed to not matter anymore. I have been picked by the Master to tend to the hearts and love on people. He has given me a passion, desire, and gift to feed people; and He is using it to reach those hurting hearts. I can and will graciously live with that.

Whew! What a morning, but guess what, THERE'S MORE! The Lord gave me a visual (I'm a visual learner) on everything I've just talked about. On Thursday of last week, Christopher and I planted some black eye peas in the garden. They were all planted at the same time, the same depth, they've all received the same amount of water and sunshine each day; even prayed over them.... but each one has come up at different times ya'll. Last night, I wish I had my camera, there was a small place where the ground was breaking. If I hadn't known there was pea down there, I would have missed it. Right next to it was the tip of a pea plant, further down was another, and another, and then there was one that was already an inch or two in height and had pretty leaves on it. This morning, Christopher and I went out to take pictures. What the Lord showed me, each bush is going to produce when it is supposed to, regardless of what was all done at the same time, it will produce the vegetable it needs to produce when its particular germination process is complete.... hhhmmmm..... what a visual.

So, now that I have completely "exposed" myself, "I'M FREE!" Go listen to that song again. There are a few more that are on their as it is my playlist on myspace. Good songs.
Have to get my AVON order in and check papers. Later.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

A New Site To Visit....

Huey Pearson is Olive's Director of Lay Ministries. He recently posted a picture on facebook that just took my breath away. The picture instantly reminded me of a Psalm the Lord gave me some years ago, that I was to praise Him from the rising to the setting of the sun (Psalm 113:3). If you click on the link below, you will be directed to Huey's web site. In this site he shares his passion for wellness, along with pictures of the beautiful creation our God has entrusted us with. I've spent the evening reading almost all of them. I hope you will not only read them, and look at the pictures, but be impacted by his knowledge and passion, enough so to make a change. I know I have.

In A Nutshell...A Big One...But A Nutshell!

Haven't posted much.... between facebook, schoolwork, AVON and pies...I'm pooped. I told Chris tonight I'm exhausted! I'll be glad when Kayla is through with school so I will be done with this homeschooling! Getting everything set up for AVON has had me going 90 to nothin' also. I got a little office set up with files and such... ready to go.

We had a simple dinner, Chocolate Chip pancakes and Bacon. Chris had scrambled eggs and toast...he isn't able to eat much....he is sure hurting awful bad. The gastro doc can't do his procedures until June 3rd. I plan on calling Monday and asking to be put on a cancellation list.
Chris also sees the ENT on Wednesday for his follow up from the medications. He has had no improvement and his head is continuing to hurt daily...all the time with no relief. He has also developed pain in his joints. He's really hurting bad. He puts on a face when he can; but I see the pain on his face.

Chris' mother is having surgery also. We find out Monday when. She has three vertebrae in her neck that are smooshed...that's my word for it 'cause I can't remember the doctor's term; anyway, she has had shakes in her right hand and her toes are going numb. They believe it is from the compression...that's the word! If she doesn't have the surgery she could eventually be paralyzed. Please be praying for her, for the doctor's and nurses as well.

I got to feed several families tonight. I made some pies for two families that just had babies. Several others also bought pies. It just does something to my soul to know that I had the privilege of feeding somebody that was hungry.... I am continuing to pray for my own restaurant where I can feed people and market some of my casseroles.

Kaitlyn is in the bath singing. She makes everything a song. She's so funny. She'll walk around and instead of talking to us she will sing what she is trying to say. She makes up songs all day long.

Christopher is watching iCarley. He loves that show. He is getting so big. Today he corrected his daddy on some math... Chris said, "you've shared one and had one and something else, that's 4!" Christopher said, "NO IT'S NOT, THAT'S 3!" He was praised for his smartness. I told him, "Christopher, you just did math, did you know that." He said, "yeah" with the biggest cheesiest grin ever.

Kayla is on a date with Justin. Her agent, Bobby Duerr of BMD Models & Talent, sent her "comp" card to us the other day. It looks fabulous; like a porcelain doll. I don't understand all the ins and outs of this industry. I feel like I am being a nuisance when I ask questions, but I just like to understand. That's my "A" type personality.... I like to know the facts and ask a lot of questions. I also have a problem with waiting. Not a good problem to have in this industry. I'm just not sure where things go from here. I'm praying about it a lot; and continuously giving it over to the Lord because I don't want to waste my energy worrying.

Not much else is going on. Just taking life one day at a time, one moment at a time. I am definitely loving AVON though! I am learning so much. I have never been one to know information about make up, what works and what doesn't, but, I am learning and listening and asking those important questions. Already I am finding out what works best for certain type eye lashes, skin, lip's amazing what is out there! I'm having a "Meet-N-Greet" type event on May 28th at the AVON Training Center. We'll have samples available, different testers and jewelry on display. I'll also have some snacky type foods and we'll be playing the new AVON infomercial. I'm looking forward to it. I also have the privilege of catering a piano recital for my sweet friend on the 29th. I so love to feed people!

Gotta run wash a 3 year olds hair.

Bless you.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Queen For A Day, Princess To The King For Eternity!

Kayla receiving her "crown" for the day.....

Ta-Dah!!!! Ms. America here she comes!

Today's It's Your Birthday....

At 8:03 pm, SEVENTEEN years ago TODAY, my precious Kayla was born. She has had a rough life; no thanks to her mother's poor choices; HOWEVER, she has taken those circumstances and turned them into jewels. I am very proud of the young woman Kayla has become. My hopes and prayers are that she will always stay grounded in the Word, that she would never compromise her integrity, and that this COURAGEOUS little girl would continue to teach her mom be courageous. I admire Kayla's boldness most about her. She speaks openly about her faith and relationship with the Lord. I believe her friends respect that about her as well; they know where she stands and there is no compromise. Wow.... I can't wait to sit on the sidelines and watch where and what the Lord continues to do in her life.

Happy, Happy Birthday Kayla!

I love you,


New Parents...Again:)

Congratulations to Jeff and Kristin on the birth of their second son, Linus. What a beautiful baby.... ya'll have been truly blessed. Now, send pictures of Kristin holding the baby so I can post her too please:)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Into the Deep/Journey Devotional March '09

For the last two months, this single devotional has whomped me over a dozen times. It seems every time I turn around, it's right there, opened up to this particular page. It affects me every time I read and remember, and want to share it today.

"A lot of us have limited vision. We base most of our activities and plans on what we've learned from experience and the interests, talents, and abilities we know we have. We are reluctant to get in over our heads because of the discomfort we feel in such situations. We don't like having demands placed on us that are beyond our resources.

When Jesus calls us to follow Him, He always pushes us beyond our experience and beyond our abilities. Peter had been fishing all night with no results when Jesus' instruction came to put out into deep water. All of Peter's intuition told him that the exercise would be fruitless. But Jesus doesn't call us to do the same things we've always done in the same way we've always done them. He calls us to launch out further and deeper, to places where we cannot depend on our own experience and abilities. He puts us in places where we must depend entirely on Him.

Next time you feel helpless in a situation and know you're in over your head, remember the sovereign Lord who placed you there. He has intimate knowledge of the deep. He is master over all the elements of His creation. He knows what awaits us there. He is Lord of the wind and the waves, the harvest, the loneliness, or whatever else might face us 'in the deep.'

The deep water can be a scary place to be. For Peter, it seemed like a pointless place to be. We are helpless there. But we cannot avoid it and be obedient to Jesus at the same time. This is the way to bear fruit - and it always involves going beyond our own expertise, our limited vision, and our resources. He calls us to launch out into places where we have no choice but to depend on His instructions and His power."

For a deeper walk, read Luke 5: 1 - 10 and Mark 4: 35 -41

by Chris Tiegreen

"God doesn't call people who are qualified, He calls people who are willing, and the He qualifies them." Richard Parker

I hope this blesses you as it has me every single time I have read it.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOM'S, AUNT'S, GRANDMOTHER'S, COUSIN'S, FRIENDS AND BLOGGY FRIENDS! If you are a single dad out there, "Happy Mom's Day to you too!"



Thursday, May 7, 2009

Missing Child, Victoria Stafford


Urgent prayer for this baby and family.....PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR PRAYER WARRIORS!!!

From my sweet friend....

"My daughter Heather had her first baby today.

We need your prayers for our new little grandson Wade Mullen.

Heather had to have a c-section, because little Wade could not get out and they discovered his cord was wrapped around his neck two times and his little face was turned the wrong way, Heather was in labor 17 hours before they gave her the choice to have a c-section and we thank God she said to go ahead and do the c-section, ( which she didn't want ) if she had waited we don't know what would have happen to Little Wade.


We need your prayers now because little Wade is having some problems and we believe in PRAYER.


Would you all please pray for our little Wade Mullen.. Thank you for taking the time to read this and most of all thank you for your PRAYERS..


Please pass this prayer request to all your praying friends

Thank you, Judy"

I will update as often as I get updates. Thank you prayer warriors!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Update On Hubby

OK, Chris had the CT done yesterday. We should know by Friday those results. This morning Chris saw an ENT. He was prescribed some nasal spray and more pills. If he is not better in two weeks, he will be having surgery.

Also, my mother-in-law, Lucie, will be having surgery in the next few weeks. She has three vertebrae compressed in her neck. If they are not repaired, she could eventually become paralyzed. She goes back on the 18th May, then surgery is scheduled.

Please keep all in your prayers.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Big Chris...Not Little Christopher!

Chris has been not well for months now. His ultrasound from last week showed his gallbladder was fine; but that his spleen was enlarged. Today, at 3:00 a CT with contrast is being done. Chris also has severe sinus infections in nearly all his sinus cavities. This 5th round of antibiotics have seemed to only increase the pain level of the headaches. He sees an ENT tomorrow morning. Thursday, there is additional blood work being done regarding the CT that's being done today.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Update On Christopher

Hey ya'll; haven't updated on my little man in a while... kind of wishing, hoping the problems would disappear...yeah; right. Christopher started bouncing off the walls last week; violent; easily angered; once again....very emotional. We thought he was just having a bad week until it happened at school. Christopher freaks out over tight quarters and being cramped with people. Apparently there were two classes crammed together in music last week. Christopher kept telling someone to move and he wouldn't; he couldn't. He put his arms/hands around a boys neck. Now, he did apologize, and he knows what he did was wrong, but that doesn't make it any better. We haven't given him the medication since then. That was Thursday. He is a hyper little boy without medications, but he is calmer regarding anxiety. The teacher commented today on how nervous he always is and twitching and playing with his fingers. We'll see. I am not sure at this point what we are going to do, if anything. I believe and serve a MIGHTY God that can do anything. IF He chooses to not heal my little Christopher, then He will give me the wisdom, knowledge, grace, dignity...everything I need to teach him and grow him up.

I have a call in to the doctor. We'll talk with her this week.

Enjoying the rain today; especially since I don't have to use MY water to water the garden! :)

Have a wonderful rest of the day!

Passing On A Challenge

I have struggled in my quiet time this morning. Everything I was reading was just not touching the depths of my heart. I decided to pick up and review my notes from church yesterday, when it struck me.....

Yesterday, our Pastor challenged, well, he dared us..."double dog dared us" in fact, to stop whining and belly achin' over our President and pray for the man over the next 40 days! He also challenged us to carry a tract with us and share Jesus with one person in the next 40 days. I've been saved for a little over 10 years; I have never carried nor desired to carry a tract on me. I just simply like to share my story with people. I've always been uncomfortable when someone just walks up, hands me a tract and walks away... how impersonal can you get?! Now, I will get one, but instead of just "giving" it to someone half-hearted, I am praying for a person to give it to. I am going to pray that I would be able to share Jesus with someone that is hurting. I believe that is why the Lord has brought me through drugs, alcohol, sex, and now working on share hope with the hurting. The scripture that helped me through my first few years of sobriety and growing and healing, Genesis 50:20, "What others (and sometimes that was myself) meant evil towards you, God meant for good, to bring about this present day...." Then in verse 21 the Bible says, "I will provide for you and your little ones." How comforting; how reassuring.

So, here is my personal challenge to you....

Stop moaning and groanin' and belly achin' over our President, and PRAY for the man! For me, personally, my thoughts... my God is bigger than President Obama. He's bigger than satan... so why should anyone be worried about our President? We don't have much...the downfall in the economy hasn't affected us terribly. Sure, my husband retirement has dropped bunches, but my thought, the Lord gave us that money, and I know that "NO GOOD THING WILL BE WITH HELD FROM US." I also know, that the only place in the Bible that God Himself tells us to challenge Him is in regards to money! I pray every time I tithe, and/or give an offering above our tithe, "Lord, this is my challenge. Meet the needs at hand." He does and I know He will continue to. The scripture that keeps coming to my mind this morning is 2 Chronicles 7:14, "If my people, WHO ARE CALLED BY MY NAME, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." Woo hoo, hallelujah!!!!

Now, my second challenge to you is to share your testimony with someone. Not every testimony is the same. Some have been born and raised in church, never drank, drugged, or even thought about smoking a cigarette; but guess what... YOU STILL HAVE A TESTIMONY! The day Jesus Christ pulled you out of the fiery pit of hell is your testimony. Share it. Psalm 145. Go get your Bible right now and read it. I use the Hollman Christian Standard Bible. Throughout Psalm 145, over and over again we are told to "testify, testify, testify!" Pray that the Lord will put someone in your path over the next 40 days to share your story.

So, today, stop and pray for our, your, President. Pray that he would fall to his knees and cry out to Jesus. If he does that, and he truly seeks Him, I believe everything else will fall back into place. Besides, shouldn't our first response have been when he said we were not a "Christian" nation, to fall to our knees in repentance over our own lack of faith, our own lifestyles, and start praying and living as Christ calls us to live?!

Sigh...."Thank you Father for quickening my spirit to refresh the word You gave our Pastor yesterday. I pray for President Obama today, I pray for his wife and children today. Father I pray that You and You alone will become Lord of his life. I pray that our President will fall to his knees, to his face and cry out for mercy. Father, I pray You will show him that mercy, that you will intervene in his life that the transformation would be astounding! Now, Father, I pray that you will put someone in my path that needs Jesus today. I pray that You will give me the words to share, and the smile or a gentle touch on ones arm. Quicken my spirit Lord that I would be sensitive to what or who You would have me speak to. I thank you Jesus for pulling me out of the pit of despair. I thank you for the people you brought into my life that I watched and learned from. I love You Jesus, I give You all the praise and glory for what I know will be happening in the next 40 days! Hallelujah and Amen."

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Photo Shoot, Bobby Duerr, BMD Models & Talent

For some reason this is not allowing me to put my pictures in the order I would like them. In this picture, we are actually on our way home from Kayla's photo shoot in Panama City. Doesn't she look beautiful! Can't you tell she is thrilled!

This is Davey. Davey did Kayla's hair and make- up. He has also done Taylor Swift's hair and make-up and for the Sports Illustrated girls! Kayla was thrilled!

This is Kayla's agent, Bobby Duerr of BMD Models & Talent out of Roswell, GA.

Kayla with Davey (hope I'm spelling his name right!)

These are the pics I took; we had a great time. Kayla didn't want to leave! Having her hair and make-up done was a huge treat for her.
On the way to Panama City, on two different occasions, we saw birds eating off of dead carcases in the middle of the road. As nasty of a visual as it was, it was my comfort. "If He will provide for the birds of the field, how much more will He provide for one of His!" We've had minimal pie orders since National Discovery. I haven't been pushing it as much because I started selling AVON; still, we have worked hard; and still selling candy bars. We had to take money out of our food and bill budget in order to finish paying for the shoot. I have been stressing over it all morning and for days to be honest. Every time I would give it to the Lord, I would just pick it right back up. As silly as this might sound, seeing those birds eating, gave me the comfort I needed to know we are going to be OK. Do you know how comforting that is?! Sigh....
Well, it's 20 till 5; my mom is coming over to eat dinner and I haven't started it yet. Enjoy the pics. I also have some on my facebook.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Here We Go Again.....

Kayla's clothes are ironed and ready for tomorrow's photo shoot. She is supposed to take between 6 and 8 outfits. They have a hair and make-up person there. Kayla's never had it like this before! I know she is looking forward to it.

We leave around 6:30 a.m. Hope to be home by 3ish. Would appreciate your prayers for travel safety to and back. Also, need to ask you to pray for an unspoken prayer need.

Hopefully will post pics tomorrow from the photo shoot. Also, some of the AVON websites will be down tomorrow. You can shop on my website at The websites will be back up by Sunday afternoon/evening.


Our garden is progressing nicely. Christopher and I planted over 142 seeds, they are doing very well. Not all have bloomed, but well over 3/4's. Once Christopher gets home today we will take some of the green bean plants to Memaw's as her garden area is completely ready; ours is not. We've been raking and digging a little each day. I also noticed today our potatoes are growing! Saw first signs of green breaking out of the ground so covered those suckers up. I have no idea how to grow potatoes, so went to several web sites about that... this being the first year, I'll be thrilled to just learn how to do it correctly; if they produce, well hey, that's even better!

Kayla and I leave between 6 and 7 a.m. tomorrow for Panama City. Her photo shoot is tomorrow at 10:00. We should be back home by 3:00. Chris is staying home with the kids. Once the comp cards are done; hopefully Kayla will start getting some work to help pay back all these expenses. I told her if the Lord provided, we would continue walking through the doors; but if He didn't, then it was time to stop.

Gotta run, time to fix lunch for the kids.