Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
It doesn't matter how early I get up, my son beats me up, not beats me up, but is up before me.
I could easily turn off the phone, and when I did that this morning, I missed three important phone calls regarding doctor appointments for Christopher. I then had to spend another 30 minutes on hold with everyone trying to get to the people I'm supposed to be talking to.
In the midst of the chaos, giving up on a "quiet time" and putting a load of clothes in the wash, one thing rang through to my mind, my heart....my soul, and out of nowhere rang these words.....
" O' Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the works Thy hand hath made, I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder... .Thy power throughout the universe displayed....
then sings my soul, my Savior God to thee, How Great Thou Art, How Great Thou Art..."
As much as I yearn to be studying His Word, as much as I yearn to be in the scriptures and be alone with Him, as much as I yearn to do word studies.... my heart can take comfort in knowing that He knows my heart. He knows my desires and He comforts my heart through my love and passion of song and worship.
Truly, today.... and every day, "How Great Thou Art!"
Carrie Underwood "How Great Thou Art"
(You'll need to scroll down and mute the music playing in order to hear Carrie Underwood singing this grand song.)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The clip is about 9 minutes long. It includes singing two songs in rehearsal and then singing two songs in "Big Church."
The practice is funny, but if you can get through and watch the actual performance, I think you will get a good laugh. My poor Christopher, I just adore him. He is so nervous that his tics started showing; but then....he saw his sweet, sweet friend Nicholas! THEN Kaitlyn saw Nicholas! They both were going nuts!
During the actual performance, Kayla then decides to start showing off her moves and dancing on the stage. Sigh.... what's a mom to do? She loves to sing and she loves to dance! She walks around singing all day... instead of talking to me, she sings to me. She gets her microphone out and sings all over the place. There is no shame. She sings in Sam's. She sings in Wal-Mart, FoodWorld, to the check out lady's.... anybody that will listen. She is definitely my free spirited child. I knew that at birth. Funny how that stuck with her.
Kayla is at an audition tonight for a couple plays. When she met with IZON last week, they were really surprised she wasn't interested in acting as her cold read was really, really good! I'm glad, thanks to the encouragement of a friend, that she is trying.
I do hope you will watch the clip of the kids. You will need to scroll down, pause the music I have playing, then scroll back up under video clips. There are several clips on there, the one you will be looking for is the one with the kids holding their hands over their heads.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Christopher has had three good days; until today. His teacher said he could not be still today. After school he went to a friend's house... he took off out the door. I dreadfully took him to t-ball practice. The entire time Christopher was running, jumping, swinging bats, throwing balls... he could not be still for nothing. But that's not the bad part. It's when I reached out and grabbed Christopher to keep him off the Ten Commandments monument, he freaked. I'm not sure if it was him wanting to do what he wanted to do, or if I triggered the sensory disorder by grabbing him.... maybe a combination of both. What I do know is I popped him on his bum a few times and should not have, at least not at that moment. I was mad, embarrassed, ashamed.... hurting over frustration of not knowing what is going on with my son.... just a whirl wind of emotions. Then my youngest child, seeing my hand occupied with toting around my 52lb son, decides to get in the score keepers booth! I told her repeatedly to get out... she grins and runs inside the booth. Oh heaven.... what is going on?! I'm not sure what is exactly going on in my little man's brain, but here is what I do know. Ephesians 3:20 - 21 tells me that He is able to do more than I could even ask or think.... His plans for my Christopher is bigger than I could even ask or think. I praise Him for that!
On a totally different note, one of the grandmother's on my son's team addressed a safety concern. The concern is that there were several kids swinging bats, possibly causing a dangerous situation. Whoever is supposed to be the assistant coach has not shown up in two weeks. There are 4 kids on the team with the diagnosis ADHD. I know my son is diagnosed with impulsive ADHD.... that alone is a nightmare. Chris being the only adult on the field, he has his hands full. I attempted to help this afternoon as I could see the frustration mounting. I ended up asking one of the dad's if he knew anything about t-ball, he said, "I can heard goats!" I told him he would do great! Shortly after another dad stepped up and helped. For that I am thankful. I explain all that because this grandmother, instead of helping out, decided to criticize. I'd just like to ask, that if one of your kids are playing on a team, instead of criticizing, how about stepping up to the plate and lend a helping hand. My husband, along with many other coaches, work all day, then go to the ball field to spend time helping and teaching kids a sport. He doesn't get paid for it, at least not here on earth he doesn't, he doesn't ask for recognition, he gets hit with bats, balls thrown at him and is always the last to leave the field after cleaning up the gear. This experience for your kids, and the coach, is supposed to be enjoyable! Encourage your kid's coach today, thank him or her for their part in teaching your child, and for goodness sake, if you see a coach struggling to keep the kids together and there is no helper out there, STEP UP TO THE PLATE! Help out. Teach our kids what sportsmanship and teamwork is all about.
So there, now I'm off my soap box. :)
Friday, March 19, 2010
If you don't know of a time that Jesus ran to you, that you accepted Him in your heart as Jesus is Lord, I pray with all my heart that you will know Him today.
When God Ran
Monday, March 15, 2010
Quick run down on some things.... for several weeks now Christopher's medications have not been working. For those of you who do not know, last year, after months of testing, Christopher was diagnosed with severe (extreme is what they called it) ADHD; OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), Sensory Disorder, Torette Syndrome and Anxiety.
He has been taking Ritalin for the ADHD, Prozac for the anxiety, Tenex for the Tourette's, and Melatonin to help him sleep.
A few months ago Christopher stopped sleeping. Sure, he would sleep sporadically through the night, but never more than an hour at at time. Recently Christopher was taken off the Tenex and given a different night time medication to help him sleep, plus increasing the dose of Melatonin. Finally he is able to rest. We felt surely this would take care of the extreme behavior he was experiencing; but it did not.
Christopher darted away from me a few weeks ago. If Kayla had not been with me I wouldn't have been able to catch him. We were in a public parking garage... if he had gotten away, I can't imagine what would have happened.
The doctor increased his Ritalin, still no positive change.
Five days ago the doctor changed took him off Ritalin and put him on Concerta. Since then he took off from his teacher at school, and most recently, yesterday, threw three extreme fits trying to get away.
Christopher is a strong willed child, telling a strong willed child no is tough as it is, telling one with extreme ADHD and on a medication that is not working, it's a nightmare. What happens is what would be a minor temper tantrum turns into a child not able to process and even putting himself or herself in harms way. Again, the results are not intentional because his little brain literally can't function like it is supposed to, he freaks. THEN, trying to hold down a child with a sensory disorder... it's crazy.
I spoke with Christopher's pediatrician yesterday. One of two things need to happen she said, he either needs to see a pediatric psychologist TODAY (Monday) or she feels he needs to be admitted to the hospital as she views him as a threat to himself. While she feels he would not intentionally hurt himself, but if he were to take off in a busy parking lot, or run and not come back.... the what if's are a factor here.
I have been on the phone all morning. Because Christopher is not an established patient with a physiologist, no one can see him right away. After calling the Pediatric Neurologist that saw Christopher six months ago, and leaving numerous messages, I finally got a live person! He will see Christopher tomorrow at 1:00. My hopes are that he will help with monitoring Christopher's medications. I can not bear the thought of having my son admitted to the Pediatric Psyche ward and me not be able to stay with him! If Dr. Surbier can't do anything for him, our option is to see a doctor in Destin. Unfortunately he does not take insurance. The initial consultation is $250! Yes, you read that right. Every follow up is $90 to $130. Once his medications are regulated, he would only have to go once every 3 months.
I was advised to not send Christopher to school for a couple of days for fear of what could happen, or until his medications are regulated.
It seems our family has been under constant attack. Not sure what that means exactly...we are either doing something really right or really wrong!
Our Pastor has been preaching from Ephesians; mine and Chris's discipleship class is reading a chapter a day through Ephesians. Most recently Ephesians 2 was reminding me that my ways are not His ways, and that I can not even imagine what all He has in store for, not only us, but for my precious Christopher. I can't imagine how much more He loves him that we do... it's overwhelming.
Please continue to pray for Christopher; pray also for Chris and me, that we would be filled with knowledge and also for Kayla and Kaitlyn. As much as we try, they too are affected by all this..... Memaw too.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
We’ve had some challenges with my little Christopher the last few weeks. Even on his Ritalin he was going non stop. His night time medications weren’t working either; he was up till 9, 10, and sometimes 11; waking every hour or so and then up at 4 or 5 a.m. every morning, just to start the day all over non stop.
The thoughts were that his lack of sleep would solve the problem with his Ritalin not working, so his night time medicine was changed. While it is great at putting him to sleep, within an hour of taking the dose, it was not keeping him asleep. Every few hours he was up and rising extremely early. Still, the days were long and crazy. With some adjustments to the Ritalin, and still not seeing any progress, the decision was to change his medicine from Ritalin to Concerta.
The doctor said it will take a few weeks for the medicine to get in his system…. until then, we will do the best we can and try staying one step ahead of him so he doesn’t hurt himself, or anyone else.
I need more coffee, so must run.
My Mammow has been in the hospital for over a week. She is 83 years old. Please be praying for her.
Blessings on you.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Life was a rush this morning, I said, "Lord, I have so much to do, I'll spend time with you as soon as I get back from taking kids to school and Christ to work." I walk in the door and swap the laundry over, then say, "OK, Lord, let me get another load started...." "Oh Lord, the sink is full of dishes, let me get that done first." Kaitlyn says, "I'm hungry.... " "OK Lord, let me get everything done I need to...." then the phone rings and a sick friend needs help. The Lord says, "I see your plans for the day Stacey, but you never asked me what my plans are you for the day." Ouch and sigh. Isn't that how life always is?!
When we don't spend time with our Lord first thing, life and other "things," including "our own plans" have a tendency to get in the way.
"Father forgive me for not putting you first and having my own agenda. Give me grace for the moment and peace for the schedule. Help me to say yes when I need to say yes and no when I need to say no. I pray for Kayla today. May she be a light in a dark world. I love you Jesus. Amen."
"**On a side note, my oldest, Kayla, that has been homeschooled for two years start adult high today to finish out her senior year! This was a tough decision to make, but one that was needed. With everything on my plate I was not able to do for her what she needed on an education level. I am so proud of Kayla. Math has ALWAYS been a huge struggle for Kayla. In fact, when I started homeschooling her, I went back and started completely over with her. She worked hard through sweat and definitely tears from both of us, BUT, the hard work was worth it! She tested high enough that she is not having to take any more Math classes to finish her senior year! In fact, she only has three classes to finish. Today is her first day. She can finish as early as May, or drag it out to December.
Blessings on you and thanks for reading:)
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I can't remember if I mentioned why I was going to try my break, so here goes.
A few years ago I noticed something was not quite right. I am a cook. I used to take a recipe and multiply it out to serve 400 people at the drop of a dime; know the serving size, how much I would need for ingredients.... it was great. I even stunk at math and could do it. Until one day, I went to work and couldn't do it. What's so bad is I couldn't even think the process through and use a calculator! I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew something was not right. I knew this equation like the back of my hand. I called the doctor, he said, "it's depression" and put me on medication. Now, true, there were several other factors that caused him to give me that diagnosis; but that diagnosis never really settled in good. A few months later I go back with the same problem... a fog and I just can't think things through or even juggle multiple things at one time. Any mom will tell you they have to be able to handle/deal with multiple "issues" at once... part of the job description, right?! He said it's the depression still and increased the dose. Here it is two years later, someone asked me when my sons birthday was; imagine the fear I had when I couldn't tell them. Sure, everyone has little glitches here and there; but I literally could not remember the date of his birthday at all. I had to ask Kayla. I then called the doctor and told them that something is definitely wrong. This was about three months ago. There have been numerous, and my do I mean numerous doctor appointments in that time. Is seems an EEG I had a couple years ago showed seizure activity, but without having the physical seizures. It was not treated as I was told, "there is no need to treat it." A side effect of a seizure is "moments of fogginess." Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I've seen a new neurologist that gave me a memory test. I scored on the low side of normal which was very surprising to him. Just to make sure there wasn't something else underlying, he has ordered a TON of other testing. I've been poked and stuck and things put in my hair and .... whew.... lots. While I don't have the results back of a 2nd EEG done, there have been other testings (4 hours worth!) that do show a memory problem. All doctors involved were surprised. There are several issues that could be at hand still. One test that was recently done is a sleep study; seems I have sleep apnea. That can cause memory problems. Some of the meds I am on for my Fibromyalgia can cause "fogginess" as well. Plus, my plate is VERY full. My stress load can cause memory loss/confusion. Not to mention if I am indeed having brain seizure activity, that can cause problems. So, there is much going on. I was advised to skim off as much as I can from my load. One thing I did take off immediately was my roll in leadership with AVON. While I LOVE selling AVON and was actually advised to NOT stop selling AVON because it is the one thing I do in my life that is for me, for fun. BUT, the leadership part of AVON is not a requirement and really does cause extra stress; so for now, I'm letting that part go. The blogging, I guess I needed to change my mind set that it really isn't a necessity or a "have to" but something I do for me. It doesn't matter if it's understood or not, and that's OK.
So, that's my life in a nut shell right now. OH, I forgot! (hehe... see.... I really do have a memory problem! lol) Today, get this, I was diagnosed with adult ADHD! Can you believe it!?! I've always said if ADD was "heard of" when I was growing up that I would have been diagnosed with it! All this time I was only kidding! I've been put on Concerta for ADHD. How they think I'm hyper is beyond me; high strung maybe, but hyper... right. Anyway. The doc I saw today said that could be a huge part of my problem with the fog and memory thing.
That's it for now. I have much more to update on, but will do so later. I also have some great pictures of the kids playing in their first snow experience. Chris' mom, referred to as Memaw, has moved in and is doing well. We are in week two. I can share the value of prayer in this as I have prayed for peace, and our home is full of peace. Even with screaming kids... there is peace.
Clinging to Jeremiah 29:11 these days. Thankful that He is the one in charge, and not me!