Thankful For Good Days

Several, several months ago, Christopher's psychiatrist wanted him hospitalized.  He refused to make any adjustments on his ADHD medication, even after several months of concern that his impulsion was once again, out of control.  He was endangering himself, and his sister, or anyone else he was around when his medication didn't work.

The side effect of two of the medications Christopher was taking (Abilify and Focalin) was aggression.  He said the only way we could know if the child, my child, was being aggressive because of his behavior, was to take him completely off one, and then the other.  Gradually.

Since I did not want my son hospitalized where I would not be able to be with him, I chose the long road of decreasing meds, using my oils when I could; but trying to make them last because we just could not afford to replenish them.

While Christopher is home schooled, because he was in the gifted program in Kindergarten, he was allowed to continue to be a part of the PATS program in 1st grade through Escambia County School District.  I just took him each week instead of him riding the bus.  No big deal.

By the last three months of school, his writing had become so poor it was no longer legible.  I could not get him to sit still and keeping his attention on the subjects was impossible.  Our daily schooling consisted of repetition . . . . mainly focusing on how we respond to people, emotions, how to process, "What do we do when we get angry, Christopher?"  etc.

Out of desperation I spoke to his therapist.  They were not working on his writing and abilities at the time, so she was shocked when I showed her this.

I then spoke with his PATS teacher, and yes, she was concerned as well as Christopher had been unable to complete ANY work in the last several weeks.

We suffered through the rest of the year and most of the summer.

A few months ago we had to put Christopher back on medications because we simply could not continue buying the oils and the impulsion was absolutely exhausting me and taking its toll on the rest of the family.

While one medication was working well, his ADHD medication was not working and the horrible side effect was not sleeping, up and down all night and hallucinations.  It was a rough few months of trial and error.  The hallucinations seem to be under control and I believe were medication related; however, he is now regularly having full body tics.  While we haven't "gotten there yet," and probably never will the way the body changes and metabolizes, it seems we are making progress in the attention and impulsion area.

We started back our 2012/2013 school year a few weeks ago, just a couple days a week to start getting in a routine.

We have had good and bad days since we started back; but today, my son thrived!

We worked from 9 a.m. to noon; broke for lunch and finished up lose ends from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m.  Last year we used a computer program and he loved it, but would HATE to write and fought me all day on it; and while he still does not like to write, he is doing so much better using things printed straight off the computer!  

Christopher has only written on the THICK lined Pre-K and Kindergarten writing paper.  His writing is HUGE and he often runs out of space.

Today, for writing, we talked about how to write dates correctly, margins, and proper spacing between words.  Yes, this is something he was taught in Kindergarten, but, as his home-school evaluator explained to me, Christopher will always be ahead in areas because of how smart he is, but he will also be behind in areas because of his disabilities.  It is my job to push him along and encourage him in the slow areas (reading, writing, and spelling) and challenge his brain in mechanical, mathematical, cultural, scientific areas.  (Yes, pray for me.  I hated school and passed by unknowns reasons.  Seriously.  Pray hard!)

My son will be 8 this month. With the months of regression he had earlier in the year, he couldn't take what was in his brain and put it on paper, couldn't complete a thought verbally without getting confused where he was or what he was even talking about, and writing his own name was impossible.

Today, for the first time EVER, he wrote on wide rule paper and writing WELL!  It takes him a LONG TIME to get the information from his brain to the paper, BUT HE IS DOING IT! 

He had one spelling error.  I wrote, "When I grow up . . . . . "  He traced that, but everything else he wrote himself. 

Very proud!

Young Living Essential Oils . . . Alternative ADHD and Anxiety Treatments

I purchased Young Living Essential Oils last year; and never followed through with them.

At one of Christopher's doctor appointments two weeks ago, I was told Christopher would have to be hospitalized because of his aggressions.  The very conversation and the psychiatrists "jerkiness" sent Christopher into full body tics.  It was a horrible day.  To say the least, we are not going back to see him.

For two of the main medications Christopher takes, the number one side effect is aggression.  It was suggested that he be taken off the ADHD medication he was on and if that didn't help, put him back on it and reduce the mood stabilizer.

After two days, we saw no change in the aggression from taking him off the ADHD med.

I decided to break out the oils and "just give it a shot."

I had nothing else to lose.

I could not believe it.

Christopher was calm, and even focused.

Was he perfect, absolutely not.

Did he have bouts of bouncing off the walls?  Absolutely.  But he was manageable, and what was even more comforting was he wanted to try them and I was not giving him a medication, that while it is great, has potentially dangerous side effects!

After 48 hours off of Focalin, I reduced his mood stabilizer medication, Abilify, from 10 mg to 5 mg.  It takes approximately six days to get the medication out of his system; but I began using every oil I had as intervention.

I found that Christopher needed the oil application about three times a day.  Once in the morning, once around 1:30 and then again at bedtime.  Christopher NEVER sleeps all night long, he is not only waking up less, but he is sleeping longer since I started applying the oils to him at bedtime!

Out of the blue, Kaitlyn asked if she could give it a try again!  I couldn't believe it!  The last time I put the oils on her she coughed, cried, freaked out on me because of her sensory issues!  While it does "bother" her, she has been a trooper with letting me apply the oils to her.  She only requires one application a day and that has been at night.  She sleeps so much better with the oil applications!

When I ran out of the Lavender (that is one that I have personally used to get me off of Xanax!  We were all three using it.  I used it nightly for sleep and as needed during times of high anxiety and was using it on Christopher 3 x's a day and Kaitlyn every evening.), with finances being very tight and no income at all; I decided to reduce the amount of application to once a day to try making the oils last.  Oh my gosh, I saw the difference immediately!  Christopher stopped sleeping again and was crabby when he woke up!  Nightmare!  Last night I put oils back on him, and while he did wake up twice, he slept harder and longer, AND woke up in a much better mood!

If anyone is interested, I have been using Peace & Calming, Frankincense, Valor, Thieves, Nutmeg, Lavender, Di-Gize and Peppermint.

These oils are fairly pricey.  When I purchased them last year, I purchased them as a set and signed up as a distributor, so I paid a fraction of the cost for each of these individually.  My hopes are to SOON set up my web site and sell these oils that have changed our lives.

I hope in the coming weeks to have Christopher completely off the Abilify.

Please join me in praying that the Lord would meet the needs to purchase the oils necessary for my son, and daughter's, well being!

IF you are interested in trying any of these oils, or any other products offered by Young Living Essential Oils, you can email me.  If I don't know the answer, I will find out!

Thanks for stopping by today!

Stacey

Children, Animals, NLO, and Babies!

I have so missed blogging and promise to get back to it! 

It has been a whirlwind around here the last four weeks!

Kayla was home visiting for two weeks, kids had therapy appointments, and we started our THIRD set of rescue pups!   SouthBARK has been FANTASTIC at providing financially for these pups and continue to take care of Momma Dog's expenses as well.  She had to have emergency surgery for a rotten uterus while Kayla was here also!  Then we had another pup with a hernia the size of a golf ball that had to have emergency surgery this last week and NOW, we have two precious puppies with the dreaded Parvo.  I am praying the other five do not catch it. 

I hated to see Kayla go, but I know she will come back when she can.  She calls regularly and texting is always a plus!  She has an interview tomorrow for a job; please pray for her that the Lord would have His way.

Christopher developed full body tics last week; horrible to see it.  We believe they were triggered by a very bad emotional and embarrassing experience that morning; won't get in to it, but it was devastating for my little guy.  Because of Christopher's aggression issues, we are weaning him off of several of his meds.  The number one side effect on all of his meds is aggression.  We are weaning him because they are unfortunately addictive drugs.  We are trying some natural oil supplements that I purchased last year and never did anything with; I will share more about that later, but am trusting the Lord will provide for them.  Insurance doesn't cover them, and lets face it, we are below the poverty level with no income for 19 months now.

Several people have asked me about my involvement, or lack of recently, in Nothing Lost Outreach.  For months God allowed me to be an active part of providing clothing for the homeless.  When my daughter's sensory and anxiety problems became more and more of an issue, I had to make some cuts.  My prayer began that God would show me what to cut and what to keep and grace to walk through the tough choices.  Not only did He make it clear that I needed to reduce my AVON customer load, but that my time at home was what was needed.  My first thought, well, argument with God was, "I am home SIX days a week, what's the BIG DEAL about Sunday afternoons!"  So I went in disobedience.  My heart wanted to be there so bad, that I disobeyed God and put others before my family.  My heart still yearns to be involved; and while I don't have a huge room full of clothes for the homeless anymore, I do still have items on hand to distribute when I can, and still play an active roll in praying for this phenomenal ministry.  I do not know why God put this ministry on my heart, just to yank it out from under me, but what I do know, is that God gives us scriptural references that our priorities are to be Him, family, and then others.  My family needs me more than anything right now, so my hope, my prayer, is that God would honor this momma's heart in trying to be obedient to the calling He has given me, my family.

Thanks for stopping by today, and will add lots of pics soon!

OH!  OH!  OH!   My sister had her babies also!  She had them while Kayla was here!  They were four weeks EARLY, but are wonderful and are ALL HOME NOW!  I am adding a picture of her with both babies!

Congratulations to my beautiful, beautiful sister, Michelle, and brother in law, Ron on the birth of these beautiful baby girls!



He Knows My Name . . .

First of all, I have taken off the music player on my blog.  I post too much music on here to have it playing; so it's off. 

Have had a strange week . .  struggled with anger, jealously, envy, anger (yes, that is on here twice for a reason), bad attitude . .  fear, anxiety . . . . . its all been here. 

Through it all, what keeps coming to my mind and the only thing giving comfort to my heart is knowing, "He Knows My Name." 

He knows every hair on my head (Luke 12:7). 

He knew me before the womb (Psalm 139).

He knows my thoughts before I even speak them (Psalm 139).

He knows . . .  it all!

I've been praying all week and preparing for sharing my testimony on Sunday at Nothing Lost Outreach.  While my heart seems to be at peace,  my mind is a fog.  Scriptures are racing and my thoughts are jumping from one to another . . .

My prayer, as well as many others for me this week, have been that I would speak only the words the Lord would have me to speak and that He alone would be glorified!

I have only lost one pound the last two weigh ins.  Really struggling with commitment.  While even one pound loss in nothing gained, it just seems like it should be more.  I have incorporated exercising more; not the six days a week like my doctor would like, but working up towards that.  I was able to put on my grandmother's wedding band that she gave to Chris to propose with.  I haven't been able to wear it in two years.  It is still tighter than I like my rings to be, but getting close, and that excites me!  Just a few more pounds and I'll be at the halfway mark!

On a side note, I sure am missing my Kayla. She is visiting her boyfriend's family in Georgia this weekend. Please pray for her. She will be home on Monday and then has class Monday night.  I know she is 19; but she is still my baby (I know, I'm a sap).  She is struggling with College Chemistry right now and College Algebra.  She has to have majors in both of these fields if she wants to major in Meteorology. 

Christopher has had a horrible cough and green for one week now.  When Christopher doesn't feel good, it makes everything else worse; his emotions, the melt downs, the anger . . . . just exhausting.  BUT, as a sweet friend reminded me, God chose us to raise this special, special young boy!  I can't wait to see what God does through his life!

Kaitlyn has been chewing the skin off the tips of her fingers and thumbs.  The speculation is the Ritalin she was started on for the ADHD has increased her anxiety and heightened her sensory issues; which would explain the fight we are having with tags, clothing, shoes and socks again.  She is constantly digging on her finger nails and toe nails as well.  She stays nervous, not knowing when Christopher will react next.  Breaks my heart.

Thanks for stopping by today.  I have to get off here so I can finish my scripture references. 

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Psalm 139:13

More Changes for Christopher

Some weeks ago Christopher had a second sleep study done.  We got the results on Friday.  Christopher does not have sleep apnea; but he does have severe restless legs.  His little feet kicked every two minutes all night long. 

The neurologist we saw to get the results of the sleep study says sertraline (the generic for zoloft) can cause restless legs, so that medication will be reduced in order to start him on a new medication for his anxiety disorder.  Also, what is so scary is Christopher's heart rate dropped below 30 beats per minute o the night of the sleep study.  He is taking clonodine to put him to sleep (which has never worked to keep him to sleep).  He was at the maximum dose of .4mg.  I called the psychiatrists office immediately; he was decreased to .2mg as he has to be taken off in stages.  We hope to meet with the doctor Monday in order to go to the next phase of getting him off the clonodine and the sertraline.

We finally seemed to get his medicine somewhat in tune to what he needs for his mood disorder and the ADHD; now to have to make the other changes is somewhat frustrating.   Sure would appreciate your prayers over the next few day and even weeks as his little body takes on more changes.

Thanks a bunch!

Continuing to trust in Him,

Stacey



Vyvanse

Today is day two of Christopher taking Vyvanse.  In relations to the ADHD, it is a miracle worker.  I was able to carry on a conversation with my son for the first time in I don't know how long. 

We met with his doctor again this morning regarding the behavioral aspects.  He went from calm to frantic in the blink of an eye.  He bit me six times (these were warnings as he did not draw blood and only left teeth marks on one bite which after much rubbing eventually disappeared.)  He punched me in the arms, chest and head and then he punched me in the throat.  Forty-five minutes later, he snapped out of it, and started doing his homework again like there was no disruption at all.

It was explained to me that while Christopher does have high functioning autism, he is still autistic.  Each child with autism is different.  Each child responds to situations differently and uniquely.  For Christopher, he carries the behavioral part of autism strongly.  What I have learned is this has nothing to do with poor parenting skills.  Autism is just that, autism.  It is hereditary.  It can be treated and parents can learn new teaching methods to make their children and home better.

Christopher's doctor has prescribed a low dosage mood stabilizer.  We are gradually increasing it over the next three days, then again on the fourth day.  The hopes of this is to level out his highs and his lows and give him a little stability.

I am thankful Christopher's psychiatrist listens.  Many out there do not listen and just do what they want to do.  Journaling has helped us to pinpoint many triggers, while some still baffle us.  I will probably journal on here more so than on paper.  This will (one) allow me to not lose my journal by lying it down somewhere and (two) will allow me and my husband to learn from others that have walked where we are walking. 

I am soooo thankful for a pleasant day today.  I can not wait to see how God's Masterpiece turns out.

Looking forward to tonight's t-ball game and then the last one tomorrow. 

Continuing to trust in Him,

Stacey

My Hiatus Is Over!

Well, I tried to stop, I really did; but I just can't. I love writing my thoughts, and I love sharing things I learn, so.... here I am, hopefully picking up where I left off, with the exception of being a little more cautious of my words. It was never my desire to hurt anyone in my blogging.

I can't remember if I mentioned why I was going to try my break, so here goes.

A few years ago I noticed something was not quite right. I am a cook. I used to take a recipe and multiply it out to serve 400 people at the drop of a dime; know the serving size, how much I would need for ingredients.... it was great. I even stunk at math and could do it. Until one day, I went to work and couldn't do it. What's so bad is I couldn't even think the process through and use a calculator! I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I knew something was not right. I knew this equation like the back of my hand. I called the doctor, he said, "it's depression" and put me on medication. Now, true, there were several other factors that caused him to give me that diagnosis; but that diagnosis never really settled in good. A few months later I go back with the same problem... a fog and I just can't think things through or even juggle multiple things at one time. Any mom will tell you they have to be able to handle/deal with multiple "issues" at once... part of the job description, right?! He said it's the depression still and increased the dose. Here it is two years later, someone asked me when my sons birthday was; imagine the fear I had when I couldn't tell them. Sure, everyone has little glitches here and there; but I literally could not remember the date of his birthday at all. I had to ask Kayla. I then called the doctor and told them that something is definitely wrong. This was about three months ago. There have been numerous, and my do I mean numerous doctor appointments in that time. Is seems an EEG I had a couple years ago showed seizure activity, but without having the physical seizures. It was not treated as I was told, "there is no need to treat it." A side effect of a seizure is "moments of fogginess." Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I've seen a new neurologist that gave me a memory test. I scored on the low side of normal which was very surprising to him. Just to make sure there wasn't something else underlying, he has ordered a TON of other testing. I've been poked and stuck and things put in my hair and .... whew.... lots. While I don't have the results back of a 2nd EEG done, there have been other testings (4 hours worth!) that do show a memory problem. All doctors involved were surprised. There are several issues that could be at hand still. One test that was recently done is a sleep study; seems I have sleep apnea. That can cause memory problems. Some of the meds I am on for my Fibromyalgia can cause "fogginess" as well. Plus, my plate is VERY full. My stress load can cause memory loss/confusion. Not to mention if I am indeed having brain seizure activity, that can cause problems. So, there is much going on. I was advised to skim off as much as I can from my load. One thing I did take off immediately was my roll in leadership with AVON. While I LOVE selling AVON and was actually advised to NOT stop selling AVON because it is the one thing I do in my life that is for me, for fun. BUT, the leadership part of AVON is not a requirement and really does cause extra stress; so for now, I'm letting that part go. The blogging, I guess I needed to change my mind set that it really isn't a necessity or a "have to" but something I do for me. It doesn't matter if it's understood or not, and that's OK.

So, that's my life in a nut shell right now. OH, I forgot! (hehe... see.... I really do have a memory problem! lol) Today, get this, I was diagnosed with adult ADHD! Can you believe it!?! I've always said if ADD was "heard of" when I was growing up that I would have been diagnosed with it! All this time I was only kidding! I've been put on Concerta for ADHD. How they think I'm hyper is beyond me; high strung maybe, but hyper... right. Anyway. The doc I saw today said that could be a huge part of my problem with the fog and memory thing.

That's it for now. I have much more to update on, but will do so later. I also have some great pictures of the kids playing in their first snow experience. Chris' mom, referred to as Memaw, has moved in and is doing well. We are in week two. I can share the value of prayer in this as I have prayed for peace, and our home is full of peace. Even with screaming kids... there is peace.

Clinging to Jeremiah 29:11 these days. Thankful that He is the one in charge, and not me!

Blessings.

New Med

Christopher's new med is something I have never heard of, Vyvanse. Is anyone familiar with it? Very expensive! Without insurance would have cost us $144. The doctor gave us a coupon for one free month/30 days. Thank you Lord!

The kids and I went to the beach for about an hour plus today while my husband worked in the yard. He tilled up the area for my garden. We are later than I wanted, but that's OK. I hope to get to my mom-in-law's next week to clear her a patch of area out for her garden. I've been wanting to get over there for a month now; but keep forgetting about it for some reason.

Found out today I have pink eye. Drops four times a day....

More later.

With Our Words We Speak Life....

I believe in the POWER of prayer. I know it sounds silly to some, but I pray a lot; that's how I get rid of worry, that's how I speak to my Creator, that's how I get through and have gotten through the last six months of attacks on our family. Today, I need you to speak words of life over my son, Christopher. Everyday for the last three - four weeks he has come home with a bad report from his teachers. He is sassy to them (which is a behavioral issue), but he can not sit still. He fidgets all day long, doesn't rest well, comes home going 90 to nothing and has becomes very emotional. Every little thing sets him off to cry, he gets angry over very little things...uncontrollable rage where he hits and screams at the top of his lungs. His Pediatrician increased the Straterra to 25mg just over two weeks ago...no improvement at all. If anything, it seems worse. I am at a loss. I don't know what to do. The doctor's suggestion is to take him completely off the medication for a few weeks to get it all out of his system and start over. This roller coaster is killing me, not for me, but for him. When he doesn't have some sort of help to slow down, you can see the lostness (sp?) in his eyes. My heart is breaking for my little man. So, this morning, during his screaming fit, I sensed the Lord telling me to speak like over him. So that is what I am doing. Proverbs 10 is full of lessons of the mouth and tongue and what our words can do for a person. So, please...speak life over my son today.

I am cooking today. Next Wednesday will be my last day. We are preparing ham, potato salad, black eye peas, corn bread and an eclair dessert. Kayla is going with me so I can get potato salad for 130 done in time:)

More tomorrow, with a positive update on Christopher.

Changes On The Homefront

I have turned in my two week notice at Pine Summit. I have missed many Wednesday's since the Christmas Holiday's due to sickness, knee surgery, tooth extractions...one thing after another. I have struggled with this decision for several months, when we were first forced out of our home because of black mold, but I stayed. I stayed for a couple of reasons, one..I absolutely LOVE the people at Pine Summit Baptist Church. The first day I was there I was welcomed with open arms. They embraced me during the mold days, loved on me and my family and prayed for us. I feel a sort of dedication to them...that's different than obligation. Another reason though, that I put of resigning is because of fear. I know, I know, I can't have fear and reflect a faithful life...for where there is fear, there is no faith. My fear has been lead by money. We live on a very tight budget. We struggle just like the next person does, I'm sure, but we seem to just never get a break. My working one day a week brought home $138 which paid for groceries. I learned how to shop on a budget, shop on sale and clip coupons after I quit working after two back to back pregnancies several years ago. Our income was cut more than half because at the time, I was the Kitchen Coordinator at Olive Baptist. I was responsible for all the spending... accounts, paper goods, food purchases, scheduling and staff of seven at the time. We took a huge cut, but it was one we felt was important. I wanted and needed to be home with two small babies. When I was approached about the position at Pine Summit it was a huge answer to prayer and the scheduling was perfect as Chris was off on Wednesday's and could manage the kids while I worked. This routine has worked well for over a year and half. With Kayla's homeschooling requiring more of my time, her volunteering in the Social Ministries at Olive on Monday's, and the all around craziness of my life, a son who is not responding well to medications for ADHD/OCD and a precious little girl that gets left out a lot, and me personally struggling with my depression and continued weight gain, I feel I need to be home. Chris has been supportive of me working, but told me months ago when things started piling up on me that he would be OK if I decided to stay home. Again...fear crept in...how will we make ends meet? What else can I cut out that we haven't already cut out....well, I;m sure I will come up with a few things, trust me! In all my years as a single mother, I saw the Lord's hand over mine and Kayla's life over and over and over. The Lord has continued His faithfulness, even when I was faithless...especially when I was faithless. So, with that, I am stepping out in faith, to try and make myself well, and to take care of the home front.

Schooling is calling and papers are mounting. Until next time...

2 Timothy 2:13 "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful....."

Following Through...

Hey ya'll, Christopher's teacher called Chris first thing this morning regarding the email he had sent her stressing our concerns. Please pray for Ms. Casey and the other students. Pray also for Anthony, the little boy that is causing so much problems. Ms. Casey has had a headache since Monday regarding her dealings with this young boy. He is abusive to everyone in the classroom. So, this morning, Christopher and I prayed for Anthony. I would appreciate it if you would pray for Anthony also. He is 5 years old; a year older than Christopher. Please also pray for Christopher. I've mentioned before Christopher was diagnosed with ADHD/OCD. Last week we had to increase his medications as it seemed like nothing was working. We aren't seeing a difference with the change either. He has become more emotional that ever, throwing himself down and screaming, tackling his sister (the younger one). We don't know if this is the wrong medication or if it's behavioral.

We were sent an application for the SuperNanny show; in fact, we got it the same day we were told to leave our home because of the black mold. I think it's time to follow through and get the help we need.

Thanks for listening, well, reading.

Later.