Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Child’s Mentality . . .

So, Kaitlyn is having difficulty with me being gone every day, all day, working on AVON deliveries and trying to get more customers.  I’ve been especially busy this week and last with Christmas orders/deliveries.

I got the car loaded up, ready to go, came in to get one more thing.  When I got out to the car, Kaitlyn pointed out she had shut the door to the car.  She also pointed out, while swaying her hips back and forth with her hands on her hips, that she had locked the doors to the car. 

Yeap.

Guess where the keys were.

In the car. 

She said, "I didn't want you to leave me again.  I just want you to stay home!" 

Yes, I was furious, until she told me that.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Hebrews 13:5

For the last several months I have felt abandoned by my Lord.  I know for someone reading this from the outside, to read that is appalling.  It’s embarrassing to even admit it. 

I couldn’t go to Sunday School and definitely couldn’t go to church.  My hurt and anger radiated to a depth I had not experienced as a Christian before.  Music is the passion of my heart; I definitely couldn’t go and sing a song a be fake and pretend I was ok, so it was better to not even go.

I awoke the Sunday before last and this past Sunday with the Lord impressing it on my heart that I absolutely needed to be in Sunday School.  I got up, got the kids ready, and went.  Decided to stay for service, and am thankful I did. 

While I would like to sit here and tell you everything is fine, it’s not, but resolve is on it’s way.  The anger I was experiencing has turned in hurt.  I still can’t sing the songs of passion to my heart, and being in worship was tough yesterday. 

This morning while showering, as if the Lord was standing right with me (now that’s a scary thought!), He said to me the words of affirmation that I have been feeling deep within, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  It was then I realized I didn’t know what the word forsake meant.

It means to give up (something formerly held dear). 

I am held dear to my Lord.  While I have to work through what I am dealing with with, He gave me the words of comfort my heart so needed this morning. 

Made me smile Smile

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My Little Man :)

Christopher is having a TOUGH time with medications and has been for the last few months (even affecting school).  We have had several medication changes during these months.  I haven’t blogged about these trials because they have been literally a challenge every day.

However, with this latest medication change and increase, he has started having labored breathing and nightmares.  Last night, after one of his nightmares, he cries and said,  “Mommy, does God even love me?" Yeap, broke my heart.  I am thankful to be able to share the gospel with my little man that God made so special.  We sing Jesus loves me with every nightmare.  Even while my heart is breaking for him, hearing him sing along, "Yes, Jesus loves me, for the Bible tells me so . . . " brings a tear of gratitude to my heart.

For anyone that has a special needs child, you know how exhausting this is, for the child, the teacher, the parents, the siblings.  Please continue praying for all involved.

Thanks,

Stacey

Monday, December 6, 2010

Thank You For Fighting For MY Freedom!

My dad sent this out; when I read it, a lump filled my throat and my heart was filled with gratitude for the men and women that are serving . . . fighting for our, for my freedom.

Post in every school

When I lived in Beaufort, SC some umpteen years ago, I was impacted with a sign outside the base, “The Noise You Hear Is The Sound Of FREEDOM!”

A recent article I found:

The NOISE You Hear Is the Sound Of Freedom!

the NOISE your hear is the sound of freedom

 

It really all just depends on how we look at things, doesn’t it?!

When I think of the men and women who leave their families behind for my benefit, it’s simply overwhelming.

Thank a military personnel this week, better yet, thank them and their families they left behind!

Nothing In; Garbage Out

Found myself using language foul language and having a crappy attitude the last few weeks.  I realized yesterday my lack of time with the Lord has brought out old behavoir and is already affecting my children.  My prayer has been that the Lord would make me want to spend time with Him, to return to my fist love; hhhmmm; I'd say showing me what I've reverted to will sure do it! 

Thankful for His love and the grasp He still has on my heart!

Monday, November 22, 2010

A God of Convenience

I have purposely pulled myself away from God.  I am torn and pulled apart so deep on the inside that things just don’t make since anymore. 

For years I have been the one to try holding it together, to lean on my faith and to encourage others around me to do the same.  Since I gave my heart to the Lord just over twelve years ago, the one thing I have always clung to is the hope that is in Christ, the never ending, never failing hope. 

So . . . . why the change?  Disappointment?  Exhaustion?  I don’t know; well, I have my ideas. . . . . but not any clear answers.

For years I have been praying the Lord would, “do whatever it takes” in my home.  Honestly, I was fine as long as that wand of prayer was pointed to someone else!  Once the ever soft whisper of the Father started speaking to me, I got mad.  It wasn’t ME that did this, or did that, and it wasn’t ME that . . . well, you get the picture. 

Here is what I realized, (one of the many things) “I have been carrying the consequences of other’s sin and not allowing the chips to fall where they may.”  Yeap, I have become what is known as the “C” word in The Most Excellent Way . . . “codependent;” an enabler. 

Along with setting new boundaries, more turmoil and grief and chaos began to strike the home front.  The more strikes, the more pain, the madder I got.  Actually, the stupider I got too because I in turn stopped, down right refused to read my Bible, quit going to Sunday School and Church and in fact, I sure can’t sing any of my favorite songs cause then I’d be singing a lie and even though my life is (was) falling apart; the one thing I wasn’t was a liar! 

It took the words of a friend to show me (and yes, quite frankly it tee-totally ticked me off) that I had allowed myself to switch the roles of a victor, to a victim.  I hate victim’s (no not the ones that really are victim’s, but the ones that can’t get themselves back up and keep going victim's.)  No wonder I didn’t like myself anymore. 

During the last few months I have been taking all these experiences, changes, excuses in and allowing not only satan, but MYSELF, to separate me more and more from my Lord. . . . . and then yesterday. . . .

My friend Gail brought the kid’s their Christmas presents as she has started a tradition of giving Christmas Ornaments at Thanksgiving so they can enjoy them through the season and then have them when they get out on their own and start their own household.  I had no idea what was in store for Chris and me.

Since Gail came back from Ohio, she has had the most beautiful statue  piece, one I had admired often.

It is a statue of Santa, kneeling over baby Jesus.  Imagine my surprise to be given the exact same statue. 

IMG_1248

 

IMG_1247

Now, imagine your just turned 5 year old asking, “Mommy, why is Santa kneeling at baby Jesus?” 

At that exact moment I had to make a choice, to continue to be STUPID and continue in my temper tantrum, pitty pot, continue to let satan have a foothold in my life and defeat me, or draw a line in the sand and say, “no more.” 

I chose “no more” because my answer to “why is Santa kneeling at baby Jesus” wouldn’t have been true and honorable if I continued any other way.

As a lump grew in my throat, and tears well up in my eyes just reflecting, my answer to my Kaitlyn was, “Because Kaitlyn, even santa is brought to his knees in the presence of a King.” 

That’s who He is, a King.  My King.

This past week I found myself in a scary situation and prayed, “Oh Lord please keep me safe.”  Instantly He spoke, “Ah, so now I am a God of Convenience to you.”  It was then that I missed Him.  Not  anything in particular, I just missed Him.  I missed His love that I had rejected, I missed His touch of affirmation, I missed His very presence.

So, where does this leave me now?  Not sure.  Fighting pride, trying to find my place of belonging and acceptance, trying to teach my children the right path, The Path of Righteousness, NOT self righteousness.

In this lifetime I know there are many circumstances I will never understand, but what I pray is that instead of asking “why” from now on, I can ask, “What would you have me learn through this Lord?” 

So, that is where I have been during the last three to six months.  I can’t let my misjudgment interfere and miss out on my favorite time of the year . . . Christmas, and celebrating the birth of My King!

Thanks for reading and letting me be real,

Stacey

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Christmas Decor Give-A-Way!!

I love Christmas.  I want to decorate NOW, but in order to keep peace amongst the ranks, will wait until Thanksgiving Day. 

I am giving away this Snowman Door Hanger!  This is not the best picture, but it is the best I could do… or the best the camera could do!  The lighting in our home is horrible; BUT, I think you will get the point.

IMG_1011

Not only is this door hanging snowman ADDORABLE to look at, but he also giggles!  (He is between 16 and 18 inches long.)

So, if you would like to make this little fella a part of your Christmas decor, simply leave your name, email address and/or phone number in the comment section.  I will announce the winner after 12:00 noon central time on Monday, so you have until 11:59 a.m on Monday to enter!

Good luck and thanks for entering!

Stacey

The AVON Opportunity

Interested In Earning Extra Income For The Holiday?

To learn about AVON and the opportunities AVON has to offer, please watch the following clip. 
 
http://shop.avon.com/avonshop/becomearep/video/video.html
 
If you are interested, please contact me at thepadens@cox.net or you can call me at 850-292-3010.  You do not have to live local for me get you started!

I look forward to hearing from you,

http://shop.avon.com/avonshop/becomearep/video/video.html

Your AVON Lady,

Stacey

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Pitty Pot

Having a rough few weeks emotionally.  Not sure what is going on.  I have found myself not being content, not being satisfied, anger over situations, jealous over others situations and just not understanding.

I’d like to sit here and tell you I’m over it, but then I could add being a liar to my list of shames. 

I try every day to be thankful and to give praise for circumstances/situations; after all there are so many people that have life worse than our present circumstances, but when I see day after day so many people succeeding and me, us, struggling, I get mad and wonder “what’s the point?”  Why try so hard.  I don’t know.  I just don’t know. 

So today, I am sorry I don’t have any encouraging words.  I am at a spot where I can’t even pray for myself so if you are reading this, I sure would appreciate your prayers.

Thanks.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Dawn Rupert!

Dawn Rupert, I have emailed you and posted on my blog that you won the  mark give-a-way.  I need to hear from you to mail you/deliver your winnings.  Please contact me by Monday at 10 a.m. 

Thanks!

Stacey
(850)-292-3010
thepadens@cox.net

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Spirtual Birthday

I let satan steal my joy today.

I just realized 12 years ago TONIGHT, (October 19, 2010, I gave my life to Jesus.

"Lord, please forgive me for looking at my circumstances and for not trusting you; forgive me for forgetting; forgive me for doubting; forgive me for not trusting you. I love you Lord and praise you for who you are and for the miracles you have done in my life. Amen."

Ding Dong . . . . AVON Calling!

A friend of mine showed me how she sends AVON updates and information from her AVON blog to her customers AND she has a calendar set up as reminders to better serve her customers!  She is truly a talented lady when thinking outside the box. 

I am not through setting up this blog, and there will be many changes and alterations, but I have added it to my Treasure's from Life's Garden blog, so thought I'd go ahead and share it.

The URL address is http://www.staceypadenavon.blogspot.com/.

Thanks for visiting and I would love your input on what you would be interested in reading about.

Have a GREAT day!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

mark Give-A-Way Eye Set Winner Is . . . .

Dawn Rupert!

Dawn, I'm sending you an email shortly; thank you for entering! 

Pumpkin Patch 2010 AND Pumpkin Carvin’!

We took the kids to Holland Farms in Jay, FL Saturday.  It was Chris’, Christopher, and Kaitlyn’s first time ever to a pumpkin patch!  Kayla and I had gone many MOONS ago!  She was a baby the last time she and I went.  In fact, I’ve not had a pumpkin since Chris and I got married!  Not sure why; I know I have struggled with Halloween the last few years, I hate it.  I try to put out some fall decor and try to persuade my kids from dressing up.  This year we are going to Pine Summit's Fall Carnival and then their "Trunk or Treat" night.  This will allow them to play and have fun with it, but will keep me from having to deal with the evilness so many get in to.  What’s so crazy is Halloween is Kayla’s favorite holiday!  We are so opposite.  I don’t like anything scary, bloody or creepy sounding . . . she thrives on it!  AAAAGGGGHHHH!

Anyway, we had a great time at the pumpkin patch and enjoyed making memories in Paden Household this weekend!

I don’t know how to undo group pictures and have individuals so I can put captions under them, so will work on it later.

**Christopher and Kaitlyn cleaning their first pumpkins! For some crazy reason, we haven't had a pumpkin since Chris and I got married! We had a family afternoon at Holland Farm's in Jay, got pumpkins, boiled peanuts, and a hay ride for $5 a person, PLUS SOME GREAT COUNTRY AIR and PRICELESS MEMORIES!

**Kaitlyn, "I am NOT putting my hand in THAT!"

**cheese puff mouth :)

**Kayla being DANGEROUS with a CUTCO! RUN!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Long Story, Not So Short :P

Life is full of changes.  It seems life has offered us many changes/challenges . . . both for the good and probably not so good; however, I am sure the end result will all be worth it.

I’ve been having health issues for several  years now.  After my husband went to see someone that is ‘out of the norm,’ and seeing some positive results, I went.

In one ‘office’ visit, the following was ‘diagnosed.’  Not sure if that is the correct word, but my brain is tired and I can’t think too long on it or I’ll get side tracked, so if that is not the correct word, my apologies.

I have an underactive thyroid.  I have been on medication for approximately ten years.  Every few years the dosage is increased, but has only been “balanced” once or twice in those ten years.  I found out that medication for thyroid actually destroys the thyroid gland.  I didn’t know that.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with depression.  I have fought that ‘diagnosis’ tooth and nail.  I have never been able to understand how I could have this miraculous faith, this HOPE in Christ and the EXPERIENCE of where He has brought me and be depressed.  While I DO know depression is a real disease, I don’t know if the diagnosis I was given, was given with complete insight into my life.  I’m not here to argue the diagnosis, but the facts I do know are mind boggling.  I have been taking a high dosage (60mg of Prozac) daily for approximately two or three years.  The purpose of taking an antidepressant is to increase the serotonin levels in ones brain.  My levels were basically non-existent, even with the high dosages I was taking of Prozac.  That means the medication I have been taking was not doing me any good.

My testing showed exhaustion (FINALLY SOMEONE BELIEVED ME!).  I can sleep for twelve hours and still be tired, never feeling rested.

During this appointment, it was discussed that the MANY synthetic drugs I take are causing physical stressors on my body.
I was told I have kidney stones AND was told that even though I have no gall bladder, I have gall stones that have collected in my liver causing my liver to be slow functioning.  I had my gall bladder removed approximately four years ago.  The months following the surgery were absolutely horrible.  The pain I experienced was worse than the NATURAL childbirth I went through with my youngest two children, yet I was told there was nothing there.  Based on the information given regarding the stones, I am convinced the pain I was experiencing is from the gall stones and kidney stones.  These last two weeks I have passed NUMEROUS, NUMEROUS gall stones . . . . but we won’t go any further than that!

It is confirmed I do have Attention Deficit Disorder.  It was explained to me that this “disorder” is a gift.  People with ADD are usually great multi-taskers.  I had never thought of it that way before.  Hopefully once I get through this exhaustion phase, I will be able to use my ADD to once again multi-task and do all that is required of me ?  . . . I can hope at least.

A few years ago I broke my foot, yes, delivering AVON.  Since then I have continued to experience pain from my ankle to the back tendon.  During my appointment, I found out the break never healed correctly, hence the reason I am still in pain.

I also found out I have a Vitamin K deficiency and a potassium deficiency (which eating bananas as an adult does NOT give us the daily amounts our body needs . . . I didn’t know that either). 

I have an infection in my teeth from a head injury where I cracked/broke teeth.  Two of those teeth have been removed; however, the other ones are being more stubborn to locate!  We are working on getting the infection cleared up so I won’t have to lose any more teeth any time soon.

I am allergic to VINEGAR (yes, and I wash my clothes with vinegar in my Tide with Bleach . . . . but not anymore)!.  Do you know that almost everything has vinegar in it?!  AND, here is the kicker, I have food poisoning.  Apparently the magnesium aspartame (??I think that’s right??) that is in just about EVERY shelf stable item has this in it.  I can’t have it.

So… what does that mean?  I have to completely change my way of cooking, thinking, eating.  With lack of income, and having the above mentioned information, Chris and I talked (because he saw this lady also), we decided to make some changes.  Fresh produce is very experience, as is frozen.  I’ve not cooked with fresh herbs before and can’t say I really know what I’m doing, but I’m trying.

I bought fresh herbs, winter vegetable plants, fruit bushes/trees and strawberry plants.  Chris has been working and helping me; but is paying the price with each new “project.”

I was and still am overwhelmed with all this; and in fact, I go back next month to discuss other ‘issues.’  I was hoping to have a weight loss by then, but in the last two weeks, even after adjusting what is going in, I am GAINING weight!  It’s crazy.  I don’t know if it is my body in complete rebellion, or what is going on, but what I do know, is even with the crazy weight, I actually feel better physically than I have in years!

I’ve weaned myself off all the medications I was on, even the medication for Fibromyalgia.  With not having insurance, we can’t afford all those medications anyway, so I am taking supplements purchased from Everman's and learning. 

I prepared my first dinner with herbs from the garden last night and it was really good!  I am researching a lo, asking a lot of questions, and trying new 'things,' but I will get there. 

The following are a few pictures of our winter garden.  I have seeds started of mustard, turnips, radishes, onions, spinach.  Planted in the ground already are purple and green cabbage, broccoli, and two types lettuces.

Chris has already lost a LOT of weight.  I am thrilled for him, but for me, the last three days I have eaten and craved food like crazy.  I am continuing to gain weight, but hopeful to become healthy through all this. . . . and MAYBE the cravings for DQ’s Peanut Buster Parfait will be of the past sooner, verses later!