Friday, October 31, 2008
I've been on the phone all morning. I started out calling FEMA. They referred me to The Red Cross. The Red Cross can't help me because they help with the aiding of displaced people due to fire. Being forced out of our home due to a black mold condition is not considered an emergency, but a maintenance problem. They can not help us. They referred me to First Call for Help. They referred me to a Family Housing Shelter, HUD and Community Enterprise. HUD is a four to six month ordeal and meant for extreme poverty situations. We do not qualify. Community Enterprise hasn't returned my call, but has no emergency housing since Ivan. HUD no longer has emergency housing since IVAN either. Right now, our option is a Family Shelter. Now, I'm OK with being broken and having my pride ripped apart, but if I have to choose between a public shelter and camping in a tent at camp grounds...we're going camping! At least that way I can let my kids laugh and cry and scream and play and we can have some sort of privacy! We are checking around to see if any of our friends have campers we can rent for a few months, or for as long as this takes. Our poor pets are being affected by this as well. We are having to close of two different rooms and keep them in the infected house. It breaks my heart. The inspectors yesterday think the mold is in the outside brick as well as the structure and foundation. It's going to be a long road.
Life goes on though...the malls have opened and my sister-in-law is paying for Kayla a pair of shoes for homecoming. My mom is helping with the under garments that go with that sort of thing. We all had doctor appointments yesterday. We all have infections and are being treated with antibiotics (except Kayla...she seems to be good to go). Nonetheless co-pays and medications are necessary in order for this to not get worse.
Be blessed and walk in Him today.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
On another note, Christopher is doing great on the Strattera! Most days he is calm and really good; of course, everyone, even "normal" people have bad days, but I am very pleased with this medication.
We started potty training Kaitlyn this week. I had tried before, but she just couldn't ever seem to grasp hold of it. Kayla has been tag teaming with me. We've been setting the timer every 30 to 40 minutes and making her go sit, even if she says she doesn't have to (by the way, every time we ask, she says she doesn't have to:). Kaitlyn turns three on November 7th. I'd like her to be pull-up free by then.
Kayla is enjoying a more relaxed home school atmosphere. We are working through some of the GED study books along with a lot more research and report writing on her part. She's doing good.
Will post pics tomorrow if I have time before leaving for work. I pick Gail up from Marianna on Thursday. She will be in town for several days.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
My part of this problem is that I put my kids before my husband. My friend Vickie has been praying for me about this because I was playing the "Well he isn't doing his part card, so I'm not going to do my part." She quickly reminded me that I knew better than that. She's also been praying for me about this because I have been at a place where I just haven't been able to pray. I've laid out of church for nearly four weeks. We've had sick kids, I've not been up to par and frankly, Sunday mornings are the only times I can go to the bathroom without my name being called. This morning I was filled with regret for not going, but selfishly, stayed home anyway. The guilt I felt was I didn't want to be one of those parents who make their kids go to church while I lay out! While shooing them out the door in my heart I begged for forgiveness. I just needed some peace and quiet.
I don't normally watch Pensacola Christian on T.V., but this morning while flipping the channel, I was intrigued by a different person preaching. He was molding clay and wearing an apron. Me, being the visual learner I am, had to stop and see what was going on. The preacher went on to share the stories of how God wants to bless us and while we sometimes prevent that, (as sinners) He can still use us. It might not be for the beautiful vase He had originally intended (that's my interpretation), but even as a broken vessel it (we) can still be used. (I encourage you to get the tape, I know I will be.) I then began reflecting over the past few months of my life. Is He breaking me? Is all the c-r-a-p (I'm spelling it because I don't like that word...:) that has occurred over the last few months because I have simply refused to put my husband before my kids? "Naah, couldn't be," I thought. Then I thought, "Or could it be?" What if it is? What if all the c-r-a-p is because of my direct disobedience to the call of Christ to put my husband first (second to Christ that is). While typing, the Lord just revealed to me that by not putting my husband first, I was actually putting Christ last as well. That hurts. My prayer this morning, my first prayer in many days, is that I asked the Lord to help me put my husband before the kids. Help me to love him, help me to give him the needs he has and help me...just help me. I wasn't going to say anything to anybody, but just try, and see if it made a difference, until I read my husband's post from today. It spoke to my heart as I know it will yours as well. http://musingsofanunquietmind.blogspot.com/ It took great courage for my husband to write and speak the truth. I am very proud of him. I can't wait to be able to look at my husband with the same love and adoration I once looked at him with. I hope it comes back quickly. Please be praying for us. Satan will be working even harder to destroy us since we have both recognized problems in the camp, so to speak, and are both publicly voicing that we want our lives together, our home, to be better. Pray for our kids too, Kayla, Christopher, and Kaitlyn.
Thanks for letting me be real.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Have a great weekend.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Not sure about anything right now. Seems the harder we try to move forward, the more we get shoved backwards.
When I don't understand, I have to have faith. When I don't understand, I have to have faith. When I don't understand, I have to have faith, When I don't understand, I have to have faith.
Monday, October 20, 2008
We have had several challenges come our way, the biggest one being a $700 electric bill! We had transfer fees, deposits, a past due amount and two current amounts on one months bill! We've been paying on it every pay period from months now. Our church helped us a few months ago just before the move, but with everything going on with Christopher's doctor visits and medications not being covered by insurance, we have just struggled. This past week I got an email from a friend of mine. Their church had a huge mission yard sale. Normally they donate what isn't sold to Waterfront Mission, but she asked if I wanted it to try getting some money to go towards the power bill and I said, YES! It took two trips with the seats out of the van and piled high, but we got all the stuff over here. There are some things that will just have to be thrown away, but I'm hoping for a good turn out for what we do have. There's a lot of kitchen mugs, and what-nots, crystal pieces, punch cups, picture frames, vases, lamps, clothing, blankets and sheets and toys. I started working on it yesterday afternoon. My side and back yard looks like a mess. If I was my neighbor, I'd be worried! There was just so much stuff I had to start spreading it out and seeing what there was and how I was going to organize it all. I'm no where near being done; but have this week to finish up. We'll start at 7 a.m. Saturday, so please be praying for clear weather this week and a good turn out! I'm selling almost everything for a quarter, a dime and a few items marked specifically. It's amazing what the Lord will do to meet a need.
Christopher seems to be doing well on the Strattera. Waiting to see what, if any the insurance company will pay. Christopher has had a cold since Friday. Yesterday by bed time he barely had a voice. This morning he woke up coughing.
Kayla is looking for a dress for homecoming. Hoping to find something this week at one of the consignment shops.
Kaitlyn is Kaitlyn:) That's all I can say.
I've been real tired lately. Don't know what's going on, can't seem to get enough sleep and struggle with keeping my eyes open. It's affecting everything, even my time with the Lord. Oh, I do want to share the morning devotional I read this morning. I'm going to copy and paste it below. It was very appropriate for me this morning. Sometimes what we need the most is right in front of us and we don't even know it, but He knows it, and that's all that matters.
More later, until then, be blessed:)
Dear Father in Heaven, This day I look up and remember how it is you who created all and who owns the cattle upon the hills, the water that springs from the earth, the skies that span our view, and everything good. It is you who can provide for and bless the earth and the inhabitants thereof. I pray for the many people who are in difficult circumstances right now and need a touch to help them with their basic needs. I pray for those who need financial income to pay their living expenses, those who need jobs to bring in that income, who need good health to be able to do those jobs; and for those whose jobs do not provide sufficient income for their needs. I pray also for those who have the income, but do not know how to properly manage it for the best outcome. And I pray for those who have much and can give much. Please, connect the right people with jobs, and the right people with the right people, to do what needs to be done. I pray that you will meet every need; that you will bless the lives of those who follow your guidance and those who are thankful for what you provide. Hear the cries of the needy. I pray you will bless those who give from the abundance you have allowed them to have, for sharing and ministering in ways that others cannot. Thank you, Father, for hearing my prayer. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Jehovah JirehTGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman10-20-2008
"But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs" (Phil 2:25-26).
I got onto the bus with the other delegates attending a workplace conference in South Africa. It was a season in my life in which I had experienced many losses both financially and relationally. God was stripping away the old wineskin and creating a new one. One of the things He was teaching me was that He - not my skills, not my work - was my provider of financial needs during this season of training.
God provided me the means to attend the conference. One day before the registration deadline, a man came to my office and gave me $2500 and told me I was to go. Now, a man had just placed an envelope into my hand. "Here, God says I'm to give this to you. Inside are 10 crisp American $100 bills - $1000!" The man was from Kuwait.
Every believer needs to come to know Christ as their provider. Jehovah Jireh means God is my provider. When God called the Israelites from their place of slavery they had to walk through the desert. There is no way to earn a living in the desert. So God provided manna each day for them. Sometimes He even brought water from rocks. They had to experience a new way of gaining provision that was not rooted in sweat and toil. God had to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh to His people.
There were times when Paul's tent making business was not the way God would provide for him. God often uses others as His instrument of provision. So, God sent Epaphroditus to take care of Paul's needs.
Do you know God as your provider? Do you have a need? Place your need before the Lord today and ask Him to demonstrate His faithfulness as Jehovah Jireh.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Pappow with Christopher and Kaitlyn..and the cats
Christopher and Kaitlyn with Bandit and Baghera
Friday, October 17, 2008
Please pray for the family of Matt Russell; for his parents, Nick and Sarah Russell, for his siblings, Debbie, Diane, Mark and Mike (Kayla's dad). Please also be praying for Kayla. She is at the fair with Justin tonight, then is working tomorrow morning from 8 a.m. till noon and then we have my dad coming in town for another family gathering. She doesn't read my blog, so I'm not worried about her seeing this; however, I don't want to take away from the excitement of seeing family tomorrow. Please just pray for the timing and that the Lord will give me the words to say. I know Kayla will be upset, I know the first thing she is going to say is, "I should have called and shared Jesus with him." This is going to be hard for her.
Seize every moment.
Christopher & Kaitlyn
Michelle & Kayla
Jon & Kayla
Cody, Angie, Jon, Kayla, Christopher, Kaitlyn, Chris, Me, Michelle (left to right)
Michelle, Jon, Me
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"She's lost her mind...oh, I get it...rock, paper, scissors!"
Aunt Chelle trying to love on Kaitlyn.
Christopher & Uncle Jon trying to get Kaitlyn to take a picture. She was pouting most of the night.
"Where's the baby?"
"It's in there?!"
Love the baby....
Aunt Chelle & Christopher
Michelle & Jon
Uncle Jon & Christopher
Michelle, Mom, Jon & Me
The only thing missing...Dad, Mammow, & Pappow!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Now, for the highlight of today's post! MY SISTER IS HOME!! She looks soooo good! We met at Zaxby's parking lot yesterday morning so I could see her for a moment and get a hug before heading to Pine Summit for cooking. Man she looks great! I was hoping to have my dad and extended family over Saturday for dinner, but my brother's work schedule doesn't permit, so my brother and his family will be here tonight for dinner and visiting. Michelle got to have 3D pictures and a 4D DVD made yesterday! I got see the pictures, but mom's computer wouldn't let her play the DVD. I told her if she doesn't bring the DVD tonight then she doesn't get to eat:) After I got through cooking at Pine Summit I dropped by to visit. I got to feel the baby kick! It was awesome! I know this is crazy, but with all the chaos, all the medical stuff, if we could afford another child, I'd have one in a heartbeat! For some reason, I just can't get past that desire for wanting more children. I know...crazy.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My sister flies in today. She wasn't due till tomorrow, but I am glad she is coming today! Her flight arrives while I am cooking....today is going to drag by. I can't wait to get my hands on her! My sister and I are ten years apart. Michelle was two when I left home. On a brutally honest level, she and I never liked each other. I was jealous of her that she was always what I never could be, and for her, she never knew me and what she did know was that I was just trouble. When I first came back to Pensacola, not because I wanted to, but because I was homeless, I bullied my way in to my mom's home. Oh boy...haven't we come a long way! In ten short years, I've been here twelve, mine and my sister's relationship has just blossomed. We don't talk much, don't see each other much, but my sister loves me now, and I love her. I realize I sure can't make up for lost time, and don't try to, but what I do try to do is grasp every minute I can and treasure it. I try to live my life with no regrets. When my time comes, my family will know that I love them, that I am grateful for their forgiveness over my past harm to them, but more than anything, they will know I love Jesus and that I give Him the credit for the change in my life. Now, enough of that mooshy mumbo jumbo that tears me up!
Yesterday I took the kitten to the vet. We didn't know if it was a boy or a girl; however, my gut told me it was a boy. I am not right very often, though I like to think I am, but this time, I was right! We had a coupon for new shots or we would have had to wait. Anyway, Bandit was not himself at all yesterday. He likes to crawl up behind our roll top desk and get in the bottom drawer. It's hilarious. When we can't find him, Fancy can.
The pics didn't turn out that great. The first one is the desk with the drawer pulled out where he likes to crawl into. The next one is him sitting in the open space, the third one, he is in the drawer with it in the desk and the fourth one, well it says it all:)
Yesterday, Chris and Kayla also worked on a school project that benefited me! My mom gave us a table with chairs and umbrella some time ago. Chris took the bricks we had on hand and made a section for the table to rest on. He used math, of course, to figure out how many bricks he would need to fill in a certain amount of space. He taught Kayla how to put math into action. It was cool. There next project is to make the space large enough to allow the chairs to sit. Kayla has to measure out how much space is needed and how many bricks will be needed to fill that space. It's pretty cool.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
We have appointments all morning and more home school books to pick up this afternoon.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Christopher's medication has been changed. We were hoping to not put him on any medications, that altering his diet would be enough; unfortunately, Christopher's ADHD is on a full spectrum and he just has to have that help to slow down and focus. We are trying Straterra. This thrills me as it stays in his system for 24 hours. Unfortunately, we have to go through the entire insurance approval again as Straterra is only approved for kids 6 and over. With Straterra being pricey, we will just have to see what happens. I know Christopher has been getting prayed for, not only by me, but by many others and that the Lord is in control and make sure Christopher is on the medication he needs to be on.
Kayla's Home School evaluator has completely changed our outlook on homeschooling! It's wonderful! I really thought it was all about pen and paper and books and sitting and drilling it in, but it's not. It's teaching life application and putting that math into work and writing reports on what you do...it's amazing. Kayla and I are both more at ease now.
We have a busy week. My sister is flying home Wednesday for a few days! I am so excited!! I haven't seen her in several years and have missed her. I can't wait to hug her and then put my hands on her belly and feel that precious baby kicking inside her! I will definitely post pictures throughout her visit.
We are still waiting on the insurance company to come through with a check for our kitchen. Waiting is tough. Jim, the Cabinet Clerk from Lowe's, called yesterday to let us know the cabinets I had picked out were 20% off. Hmm... maybe that's why the discount?!
My husband just brought Christopher back in, the bus driver left Christopher again because she came before his pick up time. We changed his bus stop to Davis because she couldn't make the turn around on the cul-de-sac we live on; you would think she would call us if she is running early. This is crazy.