Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Child’s Mentality . . .

So, Kaitlyn is having difficulty with me being gone every day, all day, working on AVON deliveries and trying to get more customers.  I’ve been especially busy this week and last with Christmas orders/deliveries.

I got the car loaded up, ready to go, came in to get one more thing.  When I got out to the car, Kaitlyn pointed out she had shut the door to the car.  She also pointed out, while swaying her hips back and forth with her hands on her hips, that she had locked the doors to the car. 


Guess where the keys were.

In the car. 

She said, "I didn't want you to leave me again.  I just want you to stay home!" 

Yes, I was furious, until she told me that.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Hebrews 13:5

For the last several months I have felt abandoned by my Lord.  I know for someone reading this from the outside, to read that is appalling.  It’s embarrassing to even admit it. 

I couldn’t go to Sunday School and definitely couldn’t go to church.  My hurt and anger radiated to a depth I had not experienced as a Christian before.  Music is the passion of my heart; I definitely couldn’t go and sing a song a be fake and pretend I was ok, so it was better to not even go.

I awoke the Sunday before last and this past Sunday with the Lord impressing it on my heart that I absolutely needed to be in Sunday School.  I got up, got the kids ready, and went.  Decided to stay for service, and am thankful I did. 

While I would like to sit here and tell you everything is fine, it’s not, but resolve is on it’s way.  The anger I was experiencing has turned in hurt.  I still can’t sing the songs of passion to my heart, and being in worship was tough yesterday. 

This morning while showering, as if the Lord was standing right with me (now that’s a scary thought!), He said to me the words of affirmation that I have been feeling deep within, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  It was then I realized I didn’t know what the word forsake meant.

It means to give up (something formerly held dear). 

I am held dear to my Lord.  While I have to work through what I am dealing with with, He gave me the words of comfort my heart so needed this morning. 

Made me smile Smile

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My Little Man :)

Christopher is having a TOUGH time with medications and has been for the last few months (even affecting school).  We have had several medication changes during these months.  I haven’t blogged about these trials because they have been literally a challenge every day.

However, with this latest medication change and increase, he has started having labored breathing and nightmares.  Last night, after one of his nightmares, he cries and said,  “Mommy, does God even love me?" Yeap, broke my heart.  I am thankful to be able to share the gospel with my little man that God made so special.  We sing Jesus loves me with every nightmare.  Even while my heart is breaking for him, hearing him sing along, "Yes, Jesus loves me, for the Bible tells me so . . . " brings a tear of gratitude to my heart.

For anyone that has a special needs child, you know how exhausting this is, for the child, the teacher, the parents, the siblings.  Please continue praying for all involved.



Monday, December 6, 2010

Thank You For Fighting For MY Freedom!

My dad sent this out; when I read it, a lump filled my throat and my heart was filled with gratitude for the men and women that are serving . . . fighting for our, for my freedom.

Post in every school

When I lived in Beaufort, SC some umpteen years ago, I was impacted with a sign outside the base, “The Noise You Hear Is The Sound Of FREEDOM!”

A recent article I found:

The NOISE You Hear Is the Sound Of Freedom!

the NOISE your hear is the sound of freedom


It really all just depends on how we look at things, doesn’t it?!

When I think of the men and women who leave their families behind for my benefit, it’s simply overwhelming.

Thank a military personnel this week, better yet, thank them and their families they left behind!

Nothing In; Garbage Out

Found myself using language foul language and having a crappy attitude the last few weeks.  I realized yesterday my lack of time with the Lord has brought out old behavoir and is already affecting my children.  My prayer has been that the Lord would make me want to spend time with Him, to return to my fist love; hhhmmm; I'd say showing me what I've reverted to will sure do it! 

Thankful for His love and the grasp He still has on my heart!