Retaliate or Submit

As I write this, this very moment, there is a battle over my mind, will, and emotions. While I am not at liberty at this time to discuss the details, my heart is hurting so bad it hurts to even breathe. I never knew I could experience such pain. I attended a Most Excellent Way meeting last night, for me. I needed a safe place I could go and just sit, listen to a Bible Study and not be expected to "be" anything. The Bible Study was on submission. Go figure. At that moment, the Lord spoke to my heart, "Are you going to run from the very thing you have been asking for, for years, or are you going to see it through?" He then said to my heart, "Are you going to retaliate in the flesh, or submit to the Spirit?" Every ounce of my being wants to retaliate. BUT, something from deep within just won't let me.
I'm not sure if I will be blogging much over the next few days or weeks, but I will be back. I serve a risen Savior who is the Great Physician.
I would treasure your prayers for my family.