I learned something new today. During the last month I have had more people tell me, "look at Job; look what he went through and he never doubted." Well, I've heard that so much, that it began making me angry, because I wasn't measuring up. I had never read the book of Job all the way through, so, I, and my daughter started reading it and studying it. We've been using it as her Bible Course for homeschooling and I have been using it for me, to learn and grow. (Hopefully Kayla will benefit more from it than "just a school credit." After reading a few chapter, I started getting confused. The reason I was getting confused was because, in my opinion, based on what I was reading, Job did doubt God. How can someone have such remorse over the day they were born, and even conceived, and not call that doubting God?! Today, it was explained to me. After Job went through the wavering period and wondering why, he began to be remorseful. And while he did doubt, he never turned his back on God! The experience drew him closer to the Lord, causing him extreme remorse...bringing him to a repentant heart! As soon as Noveta said that, my heart was filled with pain. Just this past Sunday, as I shared earlier this week, my Pastor preached on a repentant heart and he even referred to Job's repentance! I was overwhelmed with such emotion I could not control the tears. In my heart, I knew Sunday's message was for me, but I also knew I hadn't dealt with it. I went to the ladies room, sat in the stall and cried and cried, asking the Lord to forgive me for doubting, asking Him to forgive me for wanting to be dead at times during these five weeks, asking Him to forgive me for wavering in my faith and in any area I have missed. When I got through sobbing like a baby, I realized, and while I know this, it became reality, I don't have to be in Church to repent, don't have to be in Church to worship, don't have to wait for the invitation from the pastor to come to the alter... Jesus met me today, in the stall of the ladies room at Pine Summit Baptist Church. He heard my prayer, He forgave me for doubting and wavering, and He is teaching me how to not do that the next time trials come my way.
Kayla is writing a paper on the book of Job. One of her assignments is to give five other scripture references in the Bible where someone is going through the storm, and how they praised the Lord while going through it. I'm taking on this assignment also.
I actually came home from work sick today. My husband was up most of the night sick and coughing. I knew I felt bad too, but man it hit me hard this afternoon with fever. I'm spread out on my couch (YES, WE GOT A COUCH AND RECLINER TODAY!!!!), watching QVC with Mrs. Prindable's Caramel Apples...yum. My mother-in-law is feeding the kids and my husband. Her house is packed with six grand kids there and three of her four kids.... I'm glad I'm here, in the quiet...and resting.
Also, as I just mentioned, we were GIVEN a couch and recliner today. I could not believe it. A friend of mine stopped by The Waterfront Mission in Milton yesterday to see what they had in way of furniture. Everything they had was new...and way out of our price range. She explained the situation to the person working there, that we had lost almost everything, and the clerk said, "I have a couch and recliner they can have!" I couldn't believe it. Chris and his brother went and picked it up this morning. The recliner is dark blue and nice. The couch is old, BUT in good condition AND it gives us a place to sit! We also had the vinyl laid today. It's beautiful! I so wish we could have afforded to have the vinyl laid throughout the kitchen. We had to leave half of the old vinyl and put in a seam thing in the kitchen. I can't remember what it's called...but, we have a floor. That's all I care about. The contractor blessed my socks off also. They not only laid the floor in the utility room, they put sheet rock up in there today! It was an unfinished room for 20 years. It's now finished. I could not believe it! I want you to please, please, please pray an abundance of blessings on our contractor for going above and beyond. Lucie's insurance company has really just pulled one over on her. I'm still praying for them too. My God is bigger than any insurance company! Our cabinets are being given to us... hopefully. Chris went and looked at them this morning, and they had been demolished. West Florida is renovating for the Baptist Hospital buy out. The gentleman that is trying to get them for us is hoping to get there before the ones tonight are demolished. All I want is a sink! Washing from the bath tub has not been a pleasant experience! Although, I'd rather wash in the bath tub and have hot water to do so than to have to use the hose like we had to while in the camper.
OK, my mind is fuzzy and I just can't think any more. I hope I haven't made too many mistakes, I'll have to proof it later....
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