Several people I know have asked about my little man (Christopher). He saw his pediatrician on Friday. Both tubes have fallen out. One ear does not show good movement (the one that he has said he can't hear out of). Christopher has been showing signs of regression lately...potty accidents daily and several nightly, he has been showing signs of hatred and anger and acting out on that anger violently, not only towards his younger sister, but towards me, his dad and even the dog. He hasn't taken it out on Kayla yet, but she just got home from camp the day before yesterday. He has begun having fits of rage; when I change his sheets I have to wash them and put the same blue sheets back on his bed; when he takes a bath, he has to use a blue towel, no other color; when we go to Wal-Mart or to pick up Chris (his dad) from work, if we go a different way he wants to know why and cries because he doesn't like going a different way. Christopher wakes up going and does not stop. He will not settle down for naps and bedtime is a nightmare. His days are 15 non-stop hours long and sometimes longer; his little brain just goes and goes and his body is bouncing off the wall. We've tried changing his diet, but that doesn't seem to be working either. We've said since he was nine months old that something was wrong, and now it is becoming more evident. On Tuesday there is a specialist scheduled to come out to the house to observe his behavior. The specialist is affiliated through FSU with autism and related disabilities. We don't know if he has autism, but we are trying to rule out everything. Christopher is also being scheduled to see a mental health specialist. We don't have a date yet as we are waiting to hear from the insurance company and doctor to see who is recommended. His hearing evaluation is scheduled for August 7th. I'm praying someone cancels and he is seen before then. Because of Christopher's ADHD, the doctor feels his brain is not being stimulated and that he is needing more structure, that I need to have activities and play times set so he can count on certain things and keep him busy from the time he gets up until the time he goes to bed. For me, this is a challenge as I am dealing with some personal health issues. It will be several more weeks before I am up to par. The feelings of inadequacy sneak in as I struggle to be wife to a wonderful man who is being extremely patient with me, and mom to two other children, one of which is being home schooled, and the other child is two...
Right now the Lord keeps putting scriptures in my path and by words regarding waiting on the Lord and resting in His strength. It's been pretty cool to know that what I am dealing with right now is important to the Lord, so important that He is putting people in my path to speak to me through them! I've been reading in Habakkuk; there have been two or three other times over the last few weeks that people have referred to scriptures in that book, so that's been confirmation of the Lord's hand in my life as well. What I like about Habakkuk is that he seemed to be real, that when He went to the Lord he just laid it all on the line. I think we are supposed to do that. The Lord already knows our hearts, He just wants to hear us speak of what's in it! In I Chronicles 17:8 - 12, David tells us, "Give thanks to the Lord; call on His name; proclaim His deeds among the peoples. Sing to Him; sing praises to Him; tell about all His wonderful works! Honor His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. Search for the Lord and for His strength (not mine); seek His face always. Remember the wonderful works He has done...!" This reminds me that He has never failed me; His timing might not be my timing, but His timing is perfect. When my daily circumstances overwhelm me as they have been the last few weeks, I have to remember those verses and what He has already pulled me through. I cannot do this in my strength for when I am weak, He is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:10) and the battle is not mine! He tells us that in 2 Chronicles 20:15.
My walk with the Lord will not always be on the mountain tops. It is when I am walking and sometimes crawling through the valley's and back up the mountains that my faith stands the true test.
I would appreciate your prayers for Christopher, myself, my husband, my other two daughters, and for the doctor's that will be seeing Christopher over the next few weeks as well. Chris and I have found ourselves not following through on discipline with Christopher because we feel guilty if there is something wrong and if he really can't help these fits of rage. I'm sure that has caused problems as well. We are just really struggling right now.
I hope you spend time resting in the Lord this day.