My Hearts Desire

Several years ago the Lord made it clear to me that I would be feeding the hungry one day. In my mind, I thought that meant the homeless. I was OK with that too; the scripture He gave me those years ago was Matthew 25:35. My mistake though, was thinking! The Lord has shown me over the last few months that feeding the hungry doesn't mean just the homeless, for we all get hungry! The Lord allows me to cook weekly for Pine Summit Baptist Church; so I am already getting to feed the hungry! He's giving me my hearts desire (Psalm 37:4)! My grandmother (not the one mentioned in an earlier post) is a great cook. Actually both my grandmother's were/are great cooks, and I guess I got their gifts....not that I'm bragging, the Lord's just blessed me with the passion to feed people and He honors my efforts. Anyway, I have some of my Mammow's recipes and those same recipes are being made and sold to friends and family at my church. So the Lord is letting me feed the hungry in another way! I would love to have a "mom and pop" diner type place one day. I don't know the Lord's timing on it, and maybe I'm off base on this desire, but I do know His timing is perfect and if that's the plan He has for my life, He will provide the funds, the location, and the time. Then maybe those proceeds can help feed the homeless of Pensacola!? Until then, I'll keep doing what He's called me to do, and love every minute of it!

This picture is of my Mammow and Pappow. Pappow still knew who I was when this picture was taken. Pappow was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a little over two years ago. I miss him. He is very special to my heart. Pappow has never been one to show or share his feelings. He shows people he loves them by poking fun and kidding with them. He was a hard man. He's only told me he loves me one time. When he told me that he loved me, I couldn't believe it...I asked him what he said, but he wouldn't say it again. I guess he let his guard down? That same man is the one that told me when I had lost everything, including a place to live, that I was worthless and would never amount to anything. That broke my heart because I never wanted to disappoint them. I believe that was my turning point to want to do better. I love my grandparents very, very much. They seemed to always be there to take my collect calls, they listened through the lies, and paid off thousands of dollars of debt. I don't know that they ever gave up on me. I am grateful. I love them.

On another note, I would like to ask your prayers for my son. He is being evaluated for autism or any other areas of disabilities next week. I don't know that that's what is going on with him, but something is wrong. He has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He is not being medicated because of his age (3). In the last four days he has had more regression issues...potty accidents like crazy, extreme physical outburst of anger, biting, oh I could go on and on. My husband and I find ourselves not following through in disciplinary issues because we feel guilty if something really is wrong then we are punishing him for something he can't control. It is a vicious cycle. The entire family is suffering because of the outburst. I love my son with all my heart, but my heart hurts for him because I don't know how to help him.

Will post again in a few days.