Tuesday, June 21, 2011

JoneSIN

Monday's planning was foiled with a soggy sandwich - hunger was the issue and satan got to me.  I was literally "joneSIN" for a fix.  I was filled with anxiety.  I was sweating bullets; I felt like I was jittery and shaking . . . . I thought I was would explode if I didn't get my hands on some junk food.  Cheetos and chocolate chip cookies were calling my name.  As if that wasn't enough to deal with, my children, who had no clue of the war raging within me, continued to ask for the very items I was craving.  Giving them their snacks literally put a lump in my throat. 

It wasn't until this morning when I looked up the word JoneSIN that I learned how to spell the word.  Instantly my eyes were taken to the last three letters of the word . . . SIN.  Now, hear me say this, I am not saying that eating chocolate chip cookies and Cheetos is a sin; BUT, for me, in this journey of my life, it is.  It has been my desire to reduce the amount of processed foods I can in order to clean my body and get healthy.  Therefore, IF I eat something that I know the Lord does not want for me, it becomes sin.  Again, this is for my life.  Not yours.  There might be a time in the future where the Lord releases me to that, but today, and yesterday, that is not so.  

The word JoeSIN is word used to describe an intense craving for a drug.  Comes from Great Jones Street in New York City, between Broadway and Lafayette Street, a former junkie hangout.  I went through a "jonesin" period from alcohol almost 13 years ago (July 7th I celebrate 13 years of sobriety).  I never thought I would go through it with food.  Based on my increased weight through these nearly 13 years, it obvious I never truly surrendered all of me to the Lord, all I did is trade one addiction (personality) for another. 

I've been reading the book of John through with a group of ladies online.  This morning I read John, Chapter 6.  I am a day behind, but it was perfect timing as what stood out to me in today's reading John 6:27, where Jesus said, "Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.  On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval."

I'm thankful for a sweet call from my accountable person to encouraged me and put things in perspective; her encouraging words helped me through several rough hours.  What's even more amazing is how my time with the Lord confirmed her words.  That tells me she is walking with Him and in tune with Him.  That's pretty cool :)

Trusting Him today as I learn to walk in Victory,

Stacey

1 comment:

cindy said...

Good Luck! I’m on the same train—trying to loose weight.

-cindy