Sunday, July 26, 2009

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Since we have moved into Lucie's house, we have had one thing after another come at us. She loved the idea of down sizing and not being responsible for the house, we loved the idea of more space and great location to our Church and Chris' work.

I can't say whether it was or was not the Lord's will for that particular change to occur, but what I do know is that He has clearly told us it's not the right place for us now. I'm not sure what the purpose was for the last year of our lives, trust Him more...sure, surrender more...probably, I believe I still have a lot of surrendering to do to Him..... making Him my priority, keep failing that one.... oh I could go on.

I resigned from working a few months ago because of some health issues I've been dealing with. While my income was minimal, it bought our groceries.

Our electric bill has been on a steady climb upward since we've been in the house, one time it was actually below $200 at $198.... that was in the winter when we rarely used the heat.... you can imagine the bills we've had during the last few months.

After much prayer on my part, and then talking with Chris and his mother, it seems in the best interest of everyone that she move back in her house. What does that mean for us, downsizing!

I've looked into childcare for Kaitlyn, doesn't pay for itself for me to work right now. Plus, I still have an obligation to Kayla with homeschooling, and then there's Christopher. That's another story!

We've been without a vehicle for two weeks now, maybe longer than that. Strange, I've lost track. I was on my pity pot for a few days, angry and doubting, wondering why.... and while I am slowly, day by day being shown why, I'm really OK with it all. I don't understand the changes, the stripping away of things, but what I do understand is that I serve a Father in Heaven who has a plan for me, a plan that does not bring me harm, but good. I trust that plan. I trust that Father in Heaven. He saved me and brought me out of a pit of drugs and alcohol and hoochiness (I know, that's not a word, but it's the nicest way I could put it!). If I can trust Him for that, I can trust Him to provide for my me and my family (Genesis 50:21 just came to mind...good one.) I can also trust that what we are experiencing is going to grow us in our faith, teach us to trust Him more than we do, and who knows what else.

Thanks to my friend Gail, I have been learning the ECAT System. Yeap. I've been riding the bus! I have to confess to you, every time I drove by a bus stop I felt pity for that person standing there, waiting on public transportation. I felt shame for them. Shame on me. That's why I was so angry and upset and on my pity pot for those days, because I was going to have to "be like them." Who did I think I was? Shame on me. I still have a lot of learning on figuring out this bus system, but I'm OK with that. I've met some pretty nice people on there; imagine that.

So, the search begins for us a place to live. I am purging. I'm getting rid of my junk. I have a lot of junk. I have boxes of papers I have no idea what they even are; and just junk, boxes of pictures that haven't been out in years and frames that never got pictures even put in them; they are going..... all this stuff is just that, "stuff." My prayer is that we will find a place, regardless of its size, that we will be able to have a savings account. I don't care if we have to cram into a two bedroom place (now my kids might disagree with that, but hey....gotta do what you gotta do), it has to be close to the church because of not having a vehicle we need to be able to get to Church on Sunday's. We can ride the bus all the other days. Chris has already been riding a bike (Kayla's) to work and back each day... Good things are going to come from this. And you wanna know what is really strange, this morning, during worship, I was free..... there was no holding back, there was no anger, bitterness..... it's gonna be OK.

I know I've rambled, but I have had so much going on that I've been holding off on sharing.

Don't forget, winners will be announced Monday from the 8 day give-a-way! Are you excited?! I know I am! I've been praying for the winners every day:)

See you then:) Bless you.

1 comment:

Jenny Bilbrey said...

I love you girl and I continue to pray for you and your family. God IS at work!