I'd like to share the devotional I read this morning. It seemed very appropriate and personal to my heart. After sharing the despair of my heart yesterday, I just wanted to share the nugget He gave me this morning.
Waiting for the Rain
"Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you" Luke 11:9
My husband I have prayed for two years about a job for him. But there have been no answers, no interviews, no calls, no nibbles. We've fasted and pleaded about this issue, but heaven has been silent. Hopeless and in despair, I stopped asking God to provide a job for Blake. "What's the use?" I thought.
Last Sunday, my pastor preached about Elijah. For many years, there had been a famine in the land of Samaria. Wadis were dry, cattle were dying, crops were destroyed. In 1 Kings 18, after God, through Elijah, had defeated the prophets of Baal, Elijah began to pray for rain. On top of Mt. Carmel, Elijah got on his face to petition God. Six times he sent his young servant to go look for a cloud; six times the servant replied, "There's nothing" (18:43). Elijah kept praying expectantly; on the seventh trip, the servant reported there was a cloud "as small as a man's hand coming from the sea" (18:44). And then it rained. In fact, the Bible says, 'there was a downpour" (18:45).
Deeply convicted, I realized that I had been expecting the downpour, but hadn't gone looking for the wisp of cloud. But giving up on prayer, being discouraged when answers don't come, isn't the way God wants me to live. Giving up is based on sight, not faith. Giving up doesn't give God time to work, both in circumstances and in my heart. Andy giving up doesn't teach me to hold my Savior's hand when times are dark.
Patience in prayer. It's difficult to wait sometimes, especially when we are so desperate for His aid, His guidance, His answer, But Jesus tells us to "ask....search....knock" (Luke 11:9). Giving up, complaining, being angry - all these are just not options for us. Besides, these responses give our enemy a toehold to speak lies into our hearts. Let's keep knocking on heaven's door, patiently waiting for our Father's perfect plan. His perfect timing, to unfold. He is always working always for our best.
Steps of Faith
Lord, help me to know that You are doing something beautiful in me. Being patient, waiting for the rain, isn't easy, so hold my hand, Jesus, when I can't see.
Deeper Walk: Luke 11: 5 - 13
While this devotional has comforted my heart, I must also be real enough to say I am really struggling. It's an "antsiness" (sp?) I can't describe; BUT, from what I just read, "Giving up, complaining, being angry - all these are just not options for us. Besides, these responses give our enemy a toehold to speak lies into our hearts."
What keeps coming to my mind is how close I am to celebrating 11 years of sobriety (July 7th). I also know that satan has been working OVER-TIME to destroy my marriage. Amazingly, absolutely AMAZINGLY, what he has meant to destroy has somehow...AMAZINGLY brought Chris and I closer than ever before. I don't know what all this means, and I am rambling.... I just wanted to share with you how the Lord showed me this morning that He is here with us.