It's really been an odd week; a good week, a bad week (I am referring to my Friday food week),and an odd week. Kinda surreal; yet solemn. Like I'm disconnected and without emotion; but everything is fine . . . so why?
I don't know. What I do know is I have eaten, gorged, eaten, gorged, celebrated (by eating) . . need I go on? NOT been a good week on discipline and focus.
Maybe it is just exhaustion from sharing my testimony at Nothing Lost Outreach on Sunday and knowing full well the spiritual battle that took place that day. It was amazing but freaky . . . but so cool to see the Hand of God! During the middle of my testimony, one of the men started shouting and causing a distraction. There was noone around him, so I don't know what happened . . . yes, I do. It was satan. He was trying to get my gander! BUT IT DIDN'T WORK! As the man was being escorted out, I looked at a friend that was there, we both whispered, "it's ok" to each other simultaneously. Moments later the room broke out in applause and we glorified God! Whew! Covered in awe-bumps right now!
Maybe it is the joy of seeing my daughter happy and in a good, solid relationship . . . and now engaged! ENGAGED! I've been praying for her spouse since she was twelve years old when I learned the importance of praying for our children. My prayer was that God would bring the best the best that He had for her. He did good. Her FIANCE' is currently serving in the United States Marine Corps. He is being stationed to California. Please pray for him. Pray for Kayla too. Schooling is so important; but with her heart torn in the separation; she is just having a tough time.
Maybe it was the news that Christopher's psychiatrist has diagnosed him with encephalopathy with mood disorder and while he does have Asperger's, OCD/Sensory, Anxiety Disorders, based on the DSM manual, if a person/child has a diagnosis of encephalopathy, then it takes precedence over all other diagnosis'. How does this affect Christopher, I have no clue. The psychiatrist described it at a form of brain damage. How did he get it? Have no clue. The thought is it's a birth defect, maybe heredity, who knows. It would explain; however, why the medications we have tried and changed over and over don't work for long, or at all. But,what I do know, as I have said before, is I don't know God's plan, but I trust it. He created Christopher, and as much as I love him, He loves him even more.
Maybe it is the fact my youngest daughter is so nervous she chews on her hands and has pulled all the skin off her hands.
Maybe it's the fact that God showed Himself faithful yet again not only giving me confirmation in an area, BUT, He also provided!
Let me explain in that He may be glorified!
After receiving the diagnosis for Christopher, and being told there is no treatment; I began praying. I began praying that if God wanted me to have Christopher seen an alternative medicine specialist, that He would confirm it.. I have been praying about a person I heard about named Dr. Jimmie Hill in Pace, FL. He does Iridology. I know what you are thinking; but here is the deal. Nothing else is really working. So why not? What else do we have to lose? (It has also worked out to have Christopher seen by a friend that do biofeedback studies of the brain; not based on the blood pressure and breathing, but reading the brain! That is another story . . . so I'll move on.) Well, what has kept me from pursuing it is money. Alternative Medicine Specialist are not covered by insurance. Now follow me here . . . Out of the blue, I received an email from a friend that new about Christopher's change in diagnosis and issues. She told how her daughter had been ill and the doctor's couldn't figure out what was going on, so she went to see "Dr. Hill"in Pace to have her daughter's eyes read! She was my confirmation to take Christopher! BUT! Here is the even COOLER thing! That same morning, before even getting the email about Dr. Hill from a friend; I received a notification that we had made a mistake on our FAFSA Pell Grant paperwork for Chris and Kayla's schooling. Even though their school tuition was covered, and because of our unfortunate poverty level, the extra money was put in to our spending account. No kidding! Go ahead, SHOUT AND REJOICE! Guess what else!?! (YES; there is MORE!) It is enough to pay the mortgage of the house through Christmas (keeping us in our home through the holiday's ~ hello! What a blessing THAT is!), pay the property taxes that will be due AND pay for a visit to see Dr. Hill! Can you say "ONLY GOD CAN GET THE GLORY!" I even hesitated in sharing this because it's one of those, "what if something breaks and we have to spend that money to fix something; but you know what I know; "My God will supply ALL our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus!" Philippians 4:19.
I am just in awe.
All I can do is sigh and bask in His faithfulness.
Glorifying Him . . . . . because I have not walked in victory over my eating :(