Kaitlyn's First Sunrise

Kaitlyn snapped pictures of the sun-setting Saturday evening as we drove across Pensacola's three mile bridge to go to her first sleep study.

Creation.  It is still stunning.

On the way out, two songs came on the radio.  The same two songs came on the radio last Sunday morning as I drove to church.  Mandisa's "Overcomer" and Philip's Craig & Dean's "You are God Alone."  I chuckled at how "convenient" that was, knowing the words of the songs penetrated deeper than I wanted to admit.

I am so thankful He still loves me enough, through  my stubbornness, to use music to woo and love on me.

Baby girl did great with the wires.  She had a few moments of anxiousness, but did very well.

Our wake up call came right at 5 a.m.  Ugh.  What a night for momma!

As we were leaving, the thought came to mind that Kaitlyn has never seen a sunrise and since no one in their RIGHT mind would ever be up at that hour . . . . why not seize the opportunity to make a memory.

McD's was open so I got a Pumpkin Latte' for me and a biscuit for Kaitlyn and we drove to the beach.  I must say, I tried Starbucks Pumpkin Latte' a while back . . . .it was burnt.  Very disappointed.  McD's was better and I got a large for less than what a small one was at Starbucks.

We stepped onto the neatly cleaned sand.  I hated to mess up the prettiness . . . . kind of like walking across vacuum cleaner marks on a freshly cleaned carpet!

There was only one other person on the actual beach, other than the John Deer Tractor pulling the clean up machine.

My heart broke at the amount of trash people left behind last night.  Much of it being washed out to sea.

Once the sun started peaking, we grabbed as much as we could and tossed it on shore so the machine could get it all.

People, when you visit a beach, or a state park, or are even walking from your car to a building or whatever . . . . take your trash with you!

We didn't get to see the actual sun rising because of the buildings, but we did have fun.

Driving over the three mile bridge back home, the sun was just rising.  It was remarkable.  I pulled over and soon as I could.  While these don't do it justice, it sure was a beautiful morning for a first sunrise for my baby girl.

As I was uploading pictures this morning, the song 10,000 Reasons came to mind . . . . "the sun comes up, it's a new day dawning . . . . . whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes."

Worship: to regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion.

A Love Song For Me

Yesterday was a really bad day.

When we had to leave our house because of black mold (September '08), we had to leave our dog, Fancy, here. I put plastic up and opened the windows; doing everything I could to keep her from breathing the air that was contaminated. We came back to the house several times a day to play with her and love on her, feed her. A friend let us borrow their pop up camper, so once we got that set up, we were at least "home" and could spend more time with her. Still, with all of our efforts, it was a very stressful situation...for all of us.

Fancy began showing signs of stress, even after we got back in the house. She would snap at people, growl, and even go at them trying to bite them. Eventually that started happening to my younger kids. While most of the time, my kids were probably provoking her, I knew it still wasn't like her. I took her to the vet. She said trauma affects everyone and every animal differently. She said American Eskimo's/Spitz are known to be temperamental anyway, so this probably pushed her over the edge, so to speak. We started giving Fancy her own space, and would usher her away when crowds were coming.... still, she would act out to certain people; even to Christopher, and shockingly, there were times he would just walk in the room and she would go nuts.

This past week my nieces and nephews were here from Indiana. They were all the time. For some reason Fancy didn't take to them very well. I tried keeping them separate as much as I could and wouldn't leave them alone with her intentionally. Yesterday, I had forgotten I had put Fancy out. Hannah went out to play to Bandit, our cat. Within a few minutes I heard the dog going absolutely nuts. She had cornered Hannah in the porch and was jumping on her trying to bite her. I have never been so fearful in my life. That little girl held on to me like I have never had a child hold on to me. She was crying and shaking uncontrollably. I knew, at that very moment, if I hadn't been there things would have been worse than a scare.

I called my vet; they said unfortunately, there was nothing they could do other than medicate her with a daily tranquilizer. Well, folks, I can't afford to get my prescriptions filled half the time, I couldn't justify getting prescriptions filled for my dog. So our only other option was to take her to the pound. I know, I know, gasp... curse me, whatever. I just keep thinking if I hadn't been there how worse it could have been, and seeing the fear on that little girl's face.... oh my gosh it was horrible.

So, here we are, the morning after. I've spent the night crying, wondering if I made the right decision, regretting my decision.... Kayla is broken hearted and just doesn't understand. The little ones miss her too; but I have been reading them "From the Pound to the Palace" by Van of Proverbs 31 Ministry (check out her blog link to the right of this page) and they seem to be OK with it. They miss her, just like I do.

I tell you all this, because this morning when I got up, I had a "love song" waiting on me on my fb page from a friend. She has no idea, no one knows of what occurred yesterday as it happened so fast, so when I listened to the words of this song, I knew, that while I had just said hours before that it seemed like God had left me, that He really is here....through the good times and the bad. I have heard this song before, but never listened to it with my heart. I hope and pray that you will listen to the words of this song with your heart, that you will slow down enough to block everything out.

My friend was used as a messenger of the Lord for me. I'm thankful I have friends that are sensitive to the spirit.

Enjoy the song.

You Are God Alone