Life Continues, And God IS Faithful

I love how I read a devotional; knowing I've read it before, but this time something different speaks to my heart than it did this time last year.

I enjoyed Sarah Youngs, "Jesus Calling" devotional so much last year, that I decided instead of getting a different one, I would re-read the one I had.

Last years highlights, while great, spoke nothing to my heart this year; but other words penetrated deep.  So deep, I sensed I was to share it with you.

I pray these words touch your heart and bring comfort to your soul, as they have mine.  (The words in bold specifically spoke to my heart.)

KEEP WALKING with Me along the path I have chosen for you.  Your desire to live close to Me is a delight to My heart.  I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up to the high mountain.  The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak.  Someday you will dance light footed on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy.  All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction.  Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend.  Stay on the path I have selected for you.  It is truly the path of Life.


Psalm 37: 23-24, "If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."


Psalm 16:11, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."


I stumbled this week.

Raising two special needs children, medication changes, melt downs, husband's work and school schedule, one car and he has it to save gas trips leaves me "stuck" day after day, taking care of sick puppies (and well), not to mention juggling all the bills to avoid disconnects and managing the rest of the house . . . . . and then throw in a car break down at Wal-Mart at 5:30 p.m in the heat of the day, and I lost it.


I was ready to quit. Not give up on God; but I didn't think "life" was worth "doing good" and making the right choices, just to have to keep dealing with one trial after another, after another, after another.

I wanted a drink so bad, just to escape the reality of it all.

Yes, I know, the reality would have still been there when the "drunkenness was over," you don't have to tell me that, I lived it for too many years.  I'm just saying where I was at the moment.

I also begged for death.  "Let someone else 'deal' and have a life like this, I don't want it.  You picked the wrong gal to carry this load, God.  I am just not strong enough."  (Yes, that's what I said.)

Nonetheless, God didn't take me home.

I didn't drink.

And I still woke the next day.

Chris got up and rode the bus to work/class and life continued.

Since then, the Lord has continued to be faithful with two friends calling to encourage a weary heart; a blessing of help with some major bills and a blessing of $50 which helped cover some of the cost of the car repairs.

2 Timothy 2:13, says it best, " If we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself."

He is faithful my friend.  He is faithful.  Oh to have a heart that never doubts, never waivers and is always steadfast!

This song has been continual on my mind:  I'm Trading My Sorrows!

Thanks for stopping by this week.

My daughter, son-in-law, and his family will be here week after next.  Please be praying for their travel safety!  I can't wait to see them and meet the new members of our family!

Watching Life Unfold

I left this morning in a foul mood. 

The kids are singing in "big church" tomorrow night.  The only type pants Christopher wears are pants with elastic in them.  I hadn't been able to find ANY pants with elastic except for jogging suits; so that is what his wardrobe consists of; and shorts (with elastic) of course.  Kaitlyn's shoes are stained and wearing thin and with her sensory problems increasing; finding shoes and socks she can wear without an emotional break down is a miracle!  She's needed shoes desperately but I was hoping to stretch them out till Christmas . . . no such luck.

After running into Target and finding no pants or shoes in our price range; we made the dreaded run to Wal-Mart.  My frustration was mounting and the "Why's" and "Woe is me's" began to fill my mind.  Discontentment set it.

But . . . . God.

It was then, as I was driving west on Nine Mile Road, heading to Wal-Mart on Hwy 29 that I thought, "Why am I going to Wal-Mart on Hwy 29?  I always go to the Wal-Mart on Creighton?"  Instantly and out of the blue, the Lord reminded me of my prayer in my journal this morning.  It read, "Lord, please let me see Paula today.  It's cold, and you told me to give her (a particular coat that had been donated to Nothing Lost Outreach through a friend) that coat.  Please let me see her.  Please." 

I told Kayla (she was with me) about it and said, "Kayla, I have to find her today.  I don't know where she is and I've only seen her outside of NLO one time.  Lord, please let me see her." 

As you can imagine, my heart leapt with joy as I pulled into the turning lane on Nine Mile Road to turn left on Old Palafox as the thin, frail woman I know as Paula, began walking towards my car wearing only a thin coat with a beanie hat.

Once again, God had nailed it.  He had Paula on my heart this morning, strong enough to journal about it; then used my running around (in the flesh) to bring me back to the Cross . . . to show His mighty hand!  He provided for Paula, through a friend that gave in obedience.  Hallelujah! 

God showed me I was getting all worked up about something that doesn't matter.  ". . . . . . stop trying to be what everyone else wants you to be.  Those children are singing to Me and they could care less what they are wearing; so you shouldn't either." 

I am reminded of my reading this morning in Sarah Young's, "Jesus Calling" devotional.  It reads:

LINGER IN MY PRESENCE A WHILE.  Rein in your impulses to plunge into the day's activities.  Beginning your day along with Me is essential preparation for success.  A great athlete takes time to prepare himself mentally for the feat ahead of him before he moves a muscle.  Similarly, your time of being still in My Presence equips you for the day ahead of you.  Only I know what will happen to you this day.  I have arranged the events you will encounter as you go along your way.  If you are not adequately equipped for the journey, you will grow weary and lose heart.  Relax with Me while I ready you for action.

Ephesians 2:30, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Hebrews 12:3, "Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Lord forgive me of my jealous heart and "do right" attitude.  Thank you for showing yourself to me today; thank you for my friend that was obedient to what YOU put on her heart in order to provide for Paula.  Thank you for allowing me to be on the sidelines and watch it all unfold.  Lord, I thank you for opening my eyes and bringing me back to the cross.  I love you, Lord.  I trust you.  Amen.

Paula told me she'd definitely be at NLO tomorrow because it is her birthday (Sunday, October 30th).  We will be celebrating at NLO with a birthday cake (no, she has no clue).  I wonder how long it has been since her birthday was celebrated?  She will be 48.  Please pray for Paula today.

Psalm 118:24, "This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."

Walking, In The Light

Just a quick note about how important detail is to my God.

This morning's reading from "Jesus Calling," referred to judging.  NOT just about being judgemental towards others, but to ourselves.  I had never thought about it like that; but sometimes we really can be our worse critics! 

I was reminded the purpose of why I was created, to KNOW Him and to LIVE in rich communication with Him.  That by me continually judging and being self critical, I am putting a hold on what He can do! 

One of the scripture readings from this morning came from . . . . oh my goodness.  This very second, when I went to double check the scripture reference, I realized, while I read the devotion for today, I read and studied the scriptures for TOMORROW!

This is even "WOWER" than I thought!  See, the scripture reference I read is from Psalm 89:15, "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord."

The REASON this is so WOW is because of our mail.  Yes, our mail.  I forgot to check it last night.  When my husband came in from taking Kaitlyn to school this morning, he had a hand full of mail.  In it was a card from a friend.  Inside the card was a card.  It read, "I will walk with You, Lord, through the enemy's attack, knowing that YOUR LIGHT on my path signals my certain victory."  (Stormie Omartian). 

OH MY GOSH!  DO YOU GET IT?!  God purposely led me to read the wrong (but correct) scripture for today, He purposely let me forget to get my mail (so I would read it this morning WITH the WRONG scripture!)  OH MY GOODNESS!

As I pause and take it all in, because literally as I've been typing the Lord revealed this all to me, I am overwhelmed with emotion as to how much my God loves me.  I don't say that arrogantly, but thankfully. 

We are going through a tough time.  We are months away from losing, having to sell our home.  I've shared this with very few.   After sharing this with my friend, weight loss mentor, and spiritual trainer (I bet she didn't know she was all that! lol) I received a link to this web site.  Tears flowed as the Lord spoke to my heart and showed Himself to me.  When people would ask me how I am, my answer, "I'm waiting on my ram." 

Again, just yesterday, a friend called me.  She had been out of town.  She began to share with me how God had put me on her heart all week.  The more she prayed for me, the more the Lord brought to mind Abraham and Isaac (if you read the link to the web site  you should be covered in awe right now!  So if you didn't read it, go read it now!).  She said, "Stacey, pray that God would show you step by step, not the entire picture.  Do what Abraham did with Isaac.  Abraham trusted God each step of the way.  Abraham didn't know the end of the store, but He knew to take the next step." 

All I can do is sigh in aweness and comfort right now.  I am out of words.  Speechless. 

I will end in this.  I don't know what it is you are going through, but what I do know is that it is real.  No one else 'might not get it,' it might seem petty to some and unbelievable to others, but to you it is real.  May I encourage you today to know that you are valuable.  You are precious.  Nothing you are going through has caught Him by surprise.  He has a plan.  If something is important to you, I can assure you, it is important to Him.

One of my favorite scriptures; one the Lord used to promote healing through the first two years of sobriety is Genesis 50:20.  He has reminded me of this scripture three times this week (and it's only Tuesday!). 

Genesis 50:20 says, "What others meant for evil against you, God means it for good, to bring about His glory."  (That is my translation . . . so please look it up for yourself.)  In recent years, the Lord revealed to me verse 21 of that same chapter.  It reads, "I will provide for you and your little ones."

Seek His face.  Walk in His light.  Ask Him to reveal Himself to you this very moment.  I did this morning, and as you can see, He showed up.

Jeremiah 29:13, "You will find me, when you seek me with all your heart."

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Jesus Calling, August 4th Devotional

My morning was horrible, filled with anger, anxiety and lots of tears.  Emotions were running high as I was focusing on the world’s standards and not the Lords.

For some, living out their faith comes easy, but for me, living out my faith is a daily choice, just like choosing to not drink when life gets “too hard.”  I don’t ever want to take my walk with the Lord for granted, so I am thankful He keeps me on a short leash, so to speak!
 
I have been reading Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, for several months now.
 
My mornings starts with my cup of java and my .20 spiral notebook.  When I started journaling again (on May 23rd), the Lord impressed it upon my heart to journal first thing, then to read my morning devotionals and scriptures.  Never thought anything about it until my heart started changing.  When I first started journaling again it was because I was told I had to.  Ticked me off quite frankly cause I did not want to.  I could put on face and pretend life was grand to others, but you can only lie to yourself for so long. . . . anyway, that was a rabbit being chased, sorry. . . back to journaling.  It dawned on me a few weeks back that my journaling pages were growing longer and longer (anything could be longer from day one. . . trust me, it wasn’t pretty, but it was real).  Then, the Lord started revealing Himself to me even more. . . . the very pages on my journal, the tablet of my heart, were being confirmed and loved on in the words of this book!  I said, (and I have goosebumps as I type and reflect on this!), “OH MY GOSH, HOW DID YOU DO THAT, LORD?!” 

Every single day, before I write, I ask the Lord to bring to mind the things I need to write about, to pray out.  He blows my mind.  Tears flood my eyes as I think of His mightiness, that He loves me SO much . . . so much it simply can not be put into words.  He loves you that much also . . . it’s simply indescribable. 

Yesterday’s devotional was on “holding your tongue.”  Definitely needed that one.  When I get my “feelings” hurt I instantly put up a wall and say hurtful things.  He amazingly clamped my lips shut and has helped me to process the hurt.  It was rather cool.

TODAYS devotional though, was overwhelming.

This is what it reads:

HOLD MY HAND, and walk joyously with Me through this day.  Together we will savor the pleasures and endure the difficulties it brings(this was for me).  Be on the lookout for everything I have prepared for you:  stunning scenery, bracing winds of adventure, cozy nooks for resting when you are weary, and much more.  I am your Guide, as well as your constant Companion.  I know every step of the journey ahead of you(and this. . .), all the way to heaven.

You don’t have to choose between staying close to Me and staying on course.  Since I am the Way, staying close to Me IS staying on course.  As you focus your thoughts on Me, I will guide you carefully along today’s journey.  Don’t worry about what is around the next bend (this was specifically for me).  Just concentrate on enjoying My Presence and staying in step with Me.

The scripture references were:

John 14:6, Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.

Colossians 4:2, “Devote yourselves in prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Now I can’t sit here and tell you the tears went away instantly.  In fact, I cried all morning and into the afternoon.  What I can tell you is, is that MY GOD is on EVERY step of THIS JOURNEY with ME!  He has NEVER left me.  HE NEVER WILL.  When I don’t understand, I have to have faith . . . because in that moment my faith is being strengthened. 

The Lord has recently given me an answer to my many “Why’s” in life.  (You know, we all ask that question from time to time, and if we listen after asking, He might just answer.)  What the Lord began telling me personally after asking “Why Lord?” was one word, “comfort.”  So I know, that whether I like a situation, whether it’s my fault or not, regardless. . . . I now tell myself, “someone is going to need comforting in this area and you are purifying me through this process Lord.  I need your help to see it through.” 

If I can be a comfort to someone else, or help encourage along the way, or share my story of hope and restoration in what HE has done in my life and my family’s life, then it is worth it; and for that, I’m OK.

Continuing to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Why Are You So Mean?!

Mid to late afternoon's are my body's "munch" time.  I snack and snack.  In the past, those snacks have been snicker bars, potato chips, ICE CREAM . . . you get the drift.  I've replaced those snack time indulgences with more healthy options such as grapes, apples, fruit smoothies, in order to get my through to dinner. 

**You'll have to mute the music player below to hear the song posted below.**

A few days ago, Kaitlyn looked at me and started singing the chorus to Taylor Swift's song, Mean. (Kaityln, and Kayla for that, are huge Taylor Swift fans.)  I said, "Why are you singing that to me?"  She said, "Cause you are being MEAN!"  I laughed at the moment, in fact, chimed in with her, until this morning.

My journal entry for this morning was this, "The last three or four days I have been snippy in the afternoons when my normal snacky munchie time sets in - anxiousness sets in as my body craves to eat - doesn't matter what it is - junk food or healthy - I just crave the gorging full "feeling."  It's just as wrong for me to gorge on healthy as it is to gorge on junk, not health wise, but heart wise.  See, the point is I have to get past the necessity of  gorging or I will just replace this food addiction with another as I did with the alcohol almost 13 years ago.  As I mentioned before, these spouts have been going on for the last three or four days; so today, I am putting it before the Lord, so He will quicken my spirit and give me, show me, a way out."

Then, I read today's devotion from "Jesus Calling."  It was so good and it amazed me how it was referring to exactly what I had journaled!

Jesus Calling

LET ME HELP YOU get through this day. There are many possible paths to travel between your getting up in the morning and your lying down at night.  Stay alert tot he many choice-points along the way, being continually aware of My Presence.  You will get through this day one way or the other.  One way is to moan and groan, stumbling along with shuffling feet.  This will get you to the end of the day, eventually, but there is a better way.  You can choose to walk with Me along the path of Peace, leaning on Me as much as you need.  There will still be difficulties along the way, but you can face them confidently in My strength.  Thank Me for each problem you encounter, and watch to see how I transform trials into blessings.

The scriptures given to study are:

I Corinthians 10:10, "And do not grumble as some of them did - and were killed by the destroying angel."

Luke 1:79, "to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."

Was that confirmation, or what??!!  Today my goal is to take my thoughts captive before they come out of my mouth! 

Father I pray my victory at day's end is that my children will be able to see a difference in me regarding my attitude.  Believing it to be so!  Amen!