Independence ='s God-Dependence

I love celebrating the 4th of July.  For me, though, it is more than the celebration of our Nation's Birthday, it's also a celebration from the release from the bondange I lived in for many years involving drugs and alcohol and other self destructive behavoirs.


July 7th I will celebrate 13 years of sobriety.  The first 90 days were horrible as I tried to do it on my own.  I kept trying to "fix" myself and regularly kept telling the Lord (which I knew he was wooing me), "just let me get this 'fixed' and I'll surrender Lord."  Over and over I continued on an upward battle going nowhere. 

I found myself in a place of desperation one day and ended up at "A Place Called Olive."    It was there I met a young lady named Paige who introduced me the Most Excellent Way Meeting.  It was then I had the privlege of meeting Eddie Echarri.  

After realizing I couldn't do this thing called life on my own, in a gold 1970's chair I had in my one bedroom apartment, on October 19, 1998, I surrendered my will and my life to Jesus Christ.

When I look at the last 13 years and the people the Lord has brought into my life I stand amazed at how He orchestrated it all.  Then I look at my own life and the many events He has brought me through in those 13 years. 

In recent months specifically, He has continued to bring Isaiah 43:18 & 19 to the forefront of my Bible Studies.  It reads, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  What promise for a future of provions, prosperity and nurishment!  He has used that scripture to show me He is taking me on a new journey; that as I am growing in my walk with the Lord, so is the testimony He is giving me.  How cool is that!

Then, more recently on June 22, the Lord used a friend to share with me  Joshua 3:3-5.  "3~When you see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God and the priests, who are Levites, carrying it, you are to move from your positions and follow it.  4~Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.  . . . . . "  5~Joshua told the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you."  This scripture has confirmed, once again, in my personal walk that new journey's are coming my way, I will have a choice, follow in obedience and know He is guiding me, or walk in disobedience and walk in the consequences.  (I'm not saying He won't be with me should I choose the latter, I'm simply stating there is a choice and both have consequences.)

I stand amazed as He has taken a heart that has been cold and hardened for the last two years and has begun to soften it and woo it all over again.  Over the last few months of rereading journal entries, seeing how my prayers were, "change/fix it" and now resonate, "Oh God, forgive me and change me, teach me and show me, help me God."  I see now more than ever the spiritual warfare that exists, especially in my own home, and see the importance of reading scripture, memorizing it, claiming it and walking in that victory. 

Wow!  Now that makes me smile!

Father I thank you and praise you for newness of life.  I thank you for bringing me through the valley's and thank you for  mountaintop experiences that bring hope and encouragement.  I pray for those struggling with addictions right now; for the parents, or children or spouses having to live through it.  Bring them to know you, and Lord if they know you, I pray you reveal yourself to them in such a way they experience victory over bondage!  I bring my family to you today, heal us all.  Diminish my pride I pray.  Thank your for 13 years of sobriety and for giving me the strength to make it this far.  Thank you for the new journey's that are yet to come.  Thank you for pulling me out of the pit of filth.  Thank you for friends that have become family and love and encourage.  Use me this day I pray and believe.  So be it, Amen.

Psalm 91:4

 

Celebrate

As I write the title of this blog, two songs came to my mind, "Celebrate, Jesus, Celebrate," and "Celebration" from Kool and the Gang!


Today, Tuesday, July 7th, marks a huge day for me. Today, I celebrate 11 years of sobriety. Eleven years of no drinking, no smoking (of cigarettes or pot...is that even what it's still called?); nothing. This time last week, I did not think I was going to make it to 11 years. I had to confess to my husband, my peers, my support group that I was struggling. That was tough, yet comforting, as I know many, many prayers were sent to heaven on my behalf last week. I can honestly say I have no idea how I got through. I went to bed with cravings of a glass of wine, I woke up in the middle of the night with those same cravings. My husband took the van, keys and money to work with him one day as he knew how horribly I was struggling. All I wanted was to be able to relax and have some peace. I actually wanted to die. No, I didn't want to kill myself, but I just wanted to die. I wasn't getting peace in any direction I was turning. Satan was working over time, and my fleshy self played right into it. I was to the point in believing that the only thing that would give me that "peace" was having that glass of wine I so, so wanted... was salivating over. Whew, just typing this makes me not only cringe from the closeness of it, but also still yearn for it. I haven't experienced this in 11 years of sobriety. I'm not saying I haven't had "tough times" in regards to dealing with it, but it never got to this point of desperation. I am having to make a choice, every day, some times moment by moment in my days, to not drink. I haven't had to do that since day one of sobriety when I chose to quit.


So, why now? Good question. One thing keeps coming to my mind. When I first quit drinking, then eventually gave my heart and soul over to the Lord, and began serving in The Most Excellent Way, Eddie Echarri told me something, that for some reason I had forgotten, until recently. Eddie told me, "Stacey, things are goin' good for choo (that's 'you' for anybody that didn't know Eddie Echarri) right now, get your gate up." I didn't know what he meant, so he elaborated. "When you start doing good, and you start giving Jesus glory, Satan gets mad. Be on guard, and be ready, 'cause he is gonna come at choo."


It's amazing how the Lord can use certain things to "trigger" memories. I was driving down Davis Hwy just the other day. Several years ago, across from West Florida Hospital, they put up an iron fence to mark off parking for its employees. Ya'll, I've literally driven past that fence hundreds and thousands of times since it was put up; yet there is was. A vision (I'm a visual learner, the Lord knows this as He made me this way, so He gives me visuals to learn.) of what Eddie Echarri had been telling me all those years ago. When Satan sees me doing what is right, pursuing His (Jesus Christ) excellence, putting away former things, it chaps Satan's back side, and he's gonna come at me and my family with both barrels loaded. Ya'll, if you have read my blog for any length of time, you know that Satan has been on us hard. We have had one obstacle thrown at us after another. I can't imagine what He has in store for us..... I cannot imagine how we would have survived without Christ.....I just can't imagine. I got kind of goose bumpy .... the song "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me just came to mind..... whew.


So, today, to celebrate 11 years of sobriety, in honor and memory of my precious friend, Eddie Echarri, whom I miss more and more every day, I'm gettin' my gate ready; I'm girding my myself with the "Armor of God" and am preparing for battle, now more than ever.


God Bless, and have a fabulous day!