Have you ever wondered why God made you the way He did? I have. I wonder that a lot. Sure, I wonder why I carry a strong gene of obesity, why I have knobby knees and a nose with a line down the middle . . . But the wonder I'm referring to is more selfish. There are times I wonder why I care so much that others needs are met and I bury my own family's needs. Why do I do that? Why do I care if a homeless person is warm or not? Why do I care if a friend has all she needs for the holidays or that others know they are loved and are making a difference?
I don't know why God gave me the heart for others that He did, but I'm glad He did. I believe it goes back to Ezekiel 36:26, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." I believe when the Lord saved me, He began chiseling away at my heart of stone. It was then, the heart of flesh began to beat and pulsate, thriving and growing and yearning to make a difference in this world.
This past week I have struggled over these whys and I have asked God what He was thinking several times. I began feeling guilty and doubting my own heart in regards to some personal struggles and wondering how in the world I'm supposed to make a difference in the world when I can't even manage my own home-front.
Satan will do that you know. He is great at sliding one liners in that cause us to doubt or take the focus off what is to be. He's been doing it for ages . . . since the Garden of Eden when he first caused Eve to doubt God and sin entered the world. He tried it on Jesus in the desert (Matthew 4:1-11), but it didn't work. Christ gives us the foundation on how to handle those darts from satan . . . the scriptures.
During my heart's whiny why's moment, I received a phone call from my neighbor. She had something she needed to bring over.
Do you see this? Whoa. And the two items in the background are two quilts for the kiddos made by some ladies in my neighbors quilt group from church.
I. Am. Blessed.
I had become so worried over my own family and the whys that I missed out on the blessings of being on the sidelines. Sure we were obedient to what the Lord told us to do, but I had missed it. My heart wasn't right because I wanted to be selfish and focus on me when the Lord had mine covered all along.
I am so thankful He knows best.