Our family has experienced many “stresses,” “heartaches,” “trials,” whatever word you choose to use, during the last many months. We lived in a pop up camper for three weeks while home was treated for black mold, we’ve been to numerous doctors for our son to find out what is going on in his precious little mind, we’ve had home school issues with our oldest and our son, teenage difficulties, parenting difficulties, marriage obstacles, health problems, we were without a vehicle for over three months, I could go on. Each trial, testing our faith, sometimes our faith would waiver, but in the end; well, the end would be death, so in our present circumstances, our faith has been strengthened.
There is something the Lord showed me recently that I would like to share with you. I turned 38 recently. In 38 years I have never taken care of my skin. My face was washed with soap and water or sometimes just water. I never moisturized; nothing. I started taking care of my skin a few months ago. Once I started the cleansing process, I started breaking out! You would have thought I hit puberty!!! It was ridiculous. At first I thought I was having an allergic reaction to the cleansers, but was advised to give it a few more days and see what happens. I did just that. Sure enough, after a few more days, there weren't as many pimples on my face, a few more days later, MORE came up! Then it started clearing up again. During one of my facial cleansing moments, the Lord gave me a beautiful visual. He said to me, "Stacey, all these years you've had all these impurities in your skin and you never knew it because you couldn't see them. Just as it takes time to get all these little impurities out, so it is with the Christian walk." He then said, "If I showed you all you shouldn’t be doing at one time, or even blessed you with all I want to bless you with, you would give up. It would be too overwhelming. As you grow in Christ, I am able to show you things, the hidden sins of your heart."
I was reminded of that visual a few Sunday's past in Sunday School. We were learning more about Psalm 51. One of my favorites. I found myself wondering if at first David was just going through motions of his prayer of forgiveness; but then, the more He prayed, the more the Holy Spirit convicted, the more the Holy Spirit showed David the err of his ways.
That particular Sunday the teacher also had us read aloud another translation of Psalm 51. It reminded me of a Prayer that I wrote that I took straight from Psalm 51.
I am thankful today for my Jesus. I sure don't know how I would be surviving these last few months without Him!
John 15: 12 – 15
Prayer of Restoration
Taken from Psalm 51
Oh Father be gracious and merciful to me according to your faithfulness and compassion. Forgive me Lord where I fall short and fail you. Thank You for cleansing me Lord from my sin, thank You for remembering them no more, for throwing them as far as the east is to the west and unto the depths of the sea. I know what I did was wrong Lord, I am filled with remorse. I know I have hurt You Lord, I know I have sinned against You and only You. I know I deserve Your wrath and condemnation, but Your word tells me of your grace and mercy, that you are a loving God, a forgiving God and that in You I can have inner peace that only comes from You. Father search my heart and cleanse me, teach me wisdom Lord. Cleanse me so that I might be whiter than snow so that I can rejoice in Your healing. Create a clean heart for me Lord and renew my spirit. Don’t banish me from your presence Lord. Restore the Joy of Your salvation Lord, remind me of the joy that I had as a new creation, remind me of the miracles You have performed in my life, remind me of the freshness that comes from only You Lord! Take this guilt away from me Lord, I don’t want it, I want freedom Lord. Thank you Father for your forgiveness, I will testify to others what you have done if my life, I will praise you Father. Keep me humble and pure I pray, rejoicing in You Lord until your return, Amen (so be it).