The other person our family lost on this day, my Pappow. The Lord took him home on this day, 2010. It was my Pappow's words to me that one day cut me so deep that promoted the desire to change. I had been evicted because I used my rent money to drink. The same money he and Mammow had sent for the rent. I arrived in Pensacola from Beaufort with nothing but a dog (yes, once an animal lover, always an animal lover) and black bags of clothes. Kayla had been visiting my Mammow and Pappow for the summer when the conviction came so instead of taking her back to Beaufort, they brought her to Pensacola. My grandfather looked at me, looked at my pack of cigarettes on the table setting on the porch, and with disappointment and probably disgust, told me, "you are pathetic and will never amount to anything." He then walked away. My heart was broken. The man I idolized was disappointed in me. I pray I will never forget that moment. It was then I quit the cycle of lies. I had lied so much I didn't even know the truth. While I am not financially successful as I yearn to be, my Pappow died knowing I adored him, and I know he adored me.
I miss them both every day.