Old Scripture, New Meaning

This morning I put the second to last roll of t.p. out.

My first instinct was to worry; but since the Lord has been growing my faith and proven his faithfulness time and time again, I took that stinkin thinkin thought captive and claimed victory, "nope, not gonna worry about that!" and went on my way.

After Kaitlyn's t-ball game this morning, I had a sweet text from a friend asking if we had a "wish list."  I was confused, thinking she meant for the animals, but she was asking for us.

I told her no wish list, that we are practical and that toiletries are always a need.

She then asked the question that brought on the tears.  "Do you need sheets?"

I've been praying for sheets since December.  

We have had one set of sheets for nineteen months.  The elastic has been out of them for months now and they have those nasty furber things on them from where they've been warn out.  BUT, they were sheets and there are many in this world that don't even have that, so who am I to complain?!

BUT, today, the Lord not only answered a prayer request of mine for sheets, but he also supplied the toiletries and cleaners that are used daily in most homes.

Philippians 4:19 says, "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus."

While each of our needs are different, each of our needs are real.

The scriptures tell us in Luke 16:10,  that IF we are faithful in little things, we will be faithful in large ones. But if we are dishonest in little things, we won't be honest with greater responsibilities.

While that scripture I just referred to is speaking about money, the Lord showed me recently, that for my life, it is much more.

Several weeks ago I had the honor of cleaning a friend's house.  While cleaning the house, I became emotional over how trusted I had become; so much to be allowed into an individuals home, not only while they aren't there, but to "clean their homes."  To be able to see a side of them that few are privileged to see!

It was then, in the quietness of the home, that The Father spoke.

He reminded me of a painful time in my life.

A time when a woman abused me.

She was perfect to so many, but she was a cruel, evil person.  She would spank me daily.  She would make me help prepare meals for the family and then send me to my room.  Sometimes I was allowed to eat, and sometimes not.  When I was allowed to eat, a tray was brought to my bed room door.  When my father would leave at 5 a.m. for work, she would wake me at 5:05 to begin my chores before leaving for school.  It was my  job to clean the pool, and pull weeds.  Daily.  Pantry doors would be locked to keep me from eating.  Lunch money was never given.  I stayed hungry.  I began stealing and eating out of trash cans.

I was 12 years old.

Dad traveled a lot with for the Corps and was unaware of the abuse that took place until after their divorce.  I never spoke up because I was a liar and a thief; nothing I could have said would have mattered at that time in my life.

While the few months I lived with her was very painful, and forgiveness didn't come until some time after my sobriety, there is a skill I learned from her, that I use when I have the privilege of helping a friend; she taught me how to clean.  :)

While Genesis 50:20 was a VERY important part of my recovery from alcohol and anger, it took on a new meaning that morning while cleaning my friend's house.

God showed me, that the abuse I received from her, while "she meant it for evil, God meant it for good" in order for me to be trusted with much!

If I had never been through the abuse by her hand, I would have never learned to clean and do the details I am good at, which means I would not have had the odd jobs here and there that the Lord used to help make ends meet, which means I would not have been trusted in the way in which I've been trusted to come into homes and see the personal side.  


The real side.  


The vulnerable side.  


The side that lets me see their dirty toilets and trusts that what I see, I will never disclose.  


Wow!  What an honor.  


I, my friend, have been entrusted with much.

My heart is in awe at the relationship this young girl has brought into our home.  I look forward to hearing from her weekly.  My children adore her.  She has become a light and a touch from heaven that I can not put on paper . . . . . well, you know what I mean.  :)

I don't know why I felt led to share about my step-mom's abuse today.  I don't know if any of this flows or even connects right, but I hope that someone out there that is reading this needs to know, God has a plan.

Here me and here me well, it is NOT God's plan for people to be abused.  That is evil.  But God can take ANY situation, and make it good.  I'm living proof.  IF He will do it for a wretch like me, He will do it for anyone.

Maybe you are reading this and you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, or maybe you do, but its been a long time since you've bowed your head and given him praise; oh my friend, do it today.

Do it right now.

"Father in Heaven, I come to you praising you for who you are.  I praise you for taking the painful events in my life and making them well.  I praise you for healing my heart and restoring my heart.  Oh God, please forgive me when I doubt, or speak or act in any way that does not bring glory to  you.  Father I pray for the person reading this right now.  Father God I ask for healing to take place in their hearts.  God, in your word you tell us that YOU are the healer of the broken hearted!  Bind up their wounds oh God!  God I pray for restoration of families.  I pray for men to step up and be the spiritual leaders of their home.  I pray for wives to love their husband's and children as You would have us love Lord.  I thank you for the times when you have carried me.  I thank you for loving me.  I pray for the ones that are reading this right now that do not know you as Lord.  Father God, give them the courage to speak up.  Change our lives for eternity God.  May I not wake tomorrow, the same as I am today.  In Jesus mighty, powerful, holy name I pray, Amen."

Oh, and one more thing, my step-mom used to call me "Lacey Stacey."  I live on "Lacey Circle."  The title of my book I'm writing,it's called, "Pullin' Weeds."  


God has a sense of humor.  He brings a smile to my face.  I can face anything with Him, and through Him.

Turning 40 And Fat Cells

I became curious during this weight loss journey of mine and started doing a little research.  Because the explanation of fat cells and their terminology was a little; well, OK; a lot, out of my educational/understanding range, I had to have someone educated in the field explain it to me, that could then explain it on my level.

In simple terms, she told me that we are actually born with the number of fat cells we will have in our lifetime.  She then went on to tell me that what we feed our bodies determinies if those fat cells grow or not.  Hmmm.  Simple enough, right?! 

We truly are what we eat! 

As I was typing I thought of the Biblical aspects of that as well.  Our Pastor puts it best, "Garbage in, garbage out."  My spiritual heart will only grow when it is fed.  One feeds the spiritual heart by spending time in the word, surrounding oneself with men and women that love the Lord and will encourage and challenge us. 

  

Something I just thought of that makes me smile is the Grinch that Stole Christmas.  Let me explain.

During the first few years of my sobriety, the Lord worked on many of my hurts; some, we are still working on. 

One of the first Most Excellent Way meetings I attended was on the topic of "Forgiveness."  I became so upset that "I had to forgive" this woman or I wouldn't be forgiven! I said, "I would rather die and go to hell that to forgive her for what she did."  Obviously, I had no clue what I was really saying; but, at the time; I meant it (I did not know the Lord at this time).

  This is what my heart looked like  . . . .

 

Then, a sweet, dear, dear lady approched me after that meeting and told me she would be praying for me.  Her name was Cora.  It's been 13 years and I can still see the hurt and pain in her eyes as she spoke to me.  The following week she approached me with pages of scriptures and handwritten prayers she had been praying over me.  The prayers of that precious woman began the healing process of my heart.

Shortly after, the Lord gave me a scripture that would show me exactly what He can do. 

The Bible says, in Ezekiel 36:26, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." 

THAT is what He did for me!!  I had begun feeding my spiritual soul  by getting in The Word, was growing as a young Christian and surrounding myself with people that would grow and challenge me! 

He took a cold, hard heart out, and gave me one of flesh . . . a new heart! 

My heart had grown; MORE than three sizes!

While only God can perform miracles and heal the heart; we, as believers in Christ, must do our part, to study; pray and be willing to ask God to do the unthinkable, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." (Psalm 139:23)

I'm not sure where all that came from and obviously there were some rabits chased, cause all I wanted to do was post some before weight loss and turning 40 pictures!  The point that is on my heart is "Good in, Good out; Bad in, Bad out."  That goes for the physical as well as the spiritual.  I don't know why I couldn't have said it that short to begin with!

The following picture was taken on May 23, 2011.

 

This picture was taken today, October 9, 2011 after losing 51 pounds!  My goal was to lose 40 by the time I turned 40 (October 7th).  God shined favor on me to do this.  My next goal was 20 more pounds to lose before the end of the year.  I have 9 more to go to reach that; and will then be just over half-way through this journey.

It's strange; I really had no idea the difference.  I had to purchase new hose to wear!  Last week when I got home from church they had fallen all the way down!  OH!  And my feet are shrinking!  MY FEET!  I was actually able to get my foot into an 8 1/2 shoe!   Where does it all go?  I still don't get it?  I guess I don't have to get it and don't really care as long as it keeps coming off. 

Two days ago I started my 30 minute exercise program.  My doctor wants me doing cardio for 30 minutes a day, six days a week.  He believes the reason for the continued headaches is Fibromyalgia related.  The best way to deal with Fibromyalgia is to have ones weight under control and exercise; so I'm doing what I gotta do!   

Thanks for praying for me on this journey.

Please keep Christopher in your prayers.  Will update soon on him.

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Reflecting on Betrayal

Several months ago an incident occurred that involved a friend of mine.  People were devastated, hurt, angry, and bitter over the tragedy.  In my opinion, they had every right to be based on the circumstances.  My heart still aches over my friend's tragedy in a way I didn't know I could ache.  Because of the tragedy though, I witnesses a love between a husband and wife that has made a lasting impact in my life.

Through out the ordeal, many kept saying, "We should have never helped him or welcomed him into our community.  We help and this is what happens."

BUT one said, "You know, what if because of Judas' betrayal, Jesus stopped helping others."

Those words penetrated my heart and made a lasting impact.

"What if", because of Judas' betrayal, Jesus called it quits?  What if, because of the betrayal of Judas, Jesus said, "no more miracles, no grace, no thanskgiving, no provisions, I'm done!"
Oh the thought of such tragedy ties my stomach in knots!

Through God's Word . . . we are taught:

~In life we are called to serve.  The word serve/service is mentioned 483 times in the Bible (KJV).

~In life, we are told that there will be trials and tribulations. (John 16:33,
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” NIV)

~In life, we are told to make disciples.  (Matthew 28:18-20, "And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”)  

~In life, we are told obedience is better than sacrifice. (1 Samuel 15:22, But Samuel replied:

“Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD?   To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams." 

~In life, we are called to forgive.  Just because we are called to forgive DOES NOT mean we have to trust.  Forgive/Forgiveness is mentioned 129 times in the Bible (KJV).  The verse that I try to keep on the forefront of my heart though is, Matthew 18: 21 - 22:  Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, ⁽how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

~In life, we are NOT told "if someone hurts you are to quit serving people all together!" Sorry, but there are NO Biblical references to sustain that!

~In life,we are told to NOT put our confidence in man!  The scriptures tell us in, Psalm 118:8, "It is better to trust in the LORD thank to put confidence in man."

I just want to encourage you to simply keep on keepin' on; to not let one person's betrayal destroy your desire to help and encourage others. 

Not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me, and that's OK.  I blog what the Lord puts on my heart to share about and I've been dealing with this one for a while.  Figured I'd go ahead and take the time to put it out there. 

Walking in Victory,

Stacey

Thirsty and Dry Land

My readings over the last week or so has been based on Grace.  Today's scripture reference was in Isaiah 43:18 & 19.  It reads,

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

When I read those scriptures, my heart was immediately comforted; and as if that wasn't enough of a touch from Heaven, I caught the highlights and scribble on the next page in Isaiah 44, verses 3 & 4, "For I will pour out water on the thirsty land and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out My Spirit on your offspring, And My blessing on your descendants; And they will spring up among the grass Like poplars (trees) by streams of water."

I hate to admit it, but, I HAVE BEEN THE DRY, THIRSY, DEAD LAND YA'LL!  I haven't been able to (or wanted to), or tried to forget those former things; some things I was responsible for, and some things I was not responsible for.  I have continued to justify my hurt, my anger, an made every excuse there is to not let go and forgive.  REGARDLESS, I have to choose forgiveness and let, let go of the anger, the hurt, the guilt, . . all of it.  And once I let go of the "former things," He can do something new in my life  . . . . it is so sweet (the new thing) . . . that He is already asking me, "DO YOU NOT PERCEIVE IT Stacey?!"  Even as I relish in those words, an excitement I haven't known in years fills my heart ;)

He is indeed doing a new thing in my heart.  He has paved a way . . through the wilderness and streams, and thirsty, dry land, His path is made for me. 

So I have a choice, do I stay on the path He has made, or do I make my own?  I hope and pray my words and actions show you the choice I have made.

Continuing to trust in Him,

Stacey