I'm Back.....

For those of you who know me, you know I normally post every day, sometimes more than that; but I haven't been feeling up to par lately. Christmas Eve I knocked myself so hard in the head getting stuff out of my van that I hit the ground! I was dizzy and nausea for days and finally ended up in the ER Friday (not very good since all the doctor's in Pensacola had been closed for three days!). Baptist Hospital and Sacred Heart both had 12 hours waits (in the waiting room alone) and West Florida had a five hour wait. I started out at Sacred, after heading home, decided to go to West Florida at my mom's coercing. I don't have a concussion, just bruised the noggin and gave myself a good jolt. I hit so hard my jaws clinched down and they've been hurting ever since. I called the dentist, she saw me this morning. I've fractured a tooth; the big molar in the back. Yeap. I have to have a root canal and crown done. I'd be OK with that, but the tooth next to it has five fractures in it! I've been babying that one to get it done later instead of sooner. Oh well, looks like it's gonna be sooner.

I've also been dealing with other issues....about six months ago I was diagnosed with depression. I guess with all that has been going on and me missing some of my thyroid medication doses (more than some...) that I've thrown my system into wack. My thyroid levels are now low, causing exhaustion and confusion which plays on the chemicals that cause one to be labeled "depressed." It's a vicious cycle.

With all that in mind...haven't felt like posting. We did have a wonderful Christmas though. We had my mom, Chris' mom and brother, Kayla's boyfriend and his grandparents over for our first Christmas Breakfast (which we will do again). It was nice. We also made a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve which we (me and the kids) decorated on Christmas Day. It was nice. We were completely blessed with an overflow of gifts for the kids replacing so much of what they have lost. They also all got bikes....real bikes....no more trikes! Christopher informed me yesterday that since he has a real bike now we have to find a boy who needs a tricycle. Made me smile. Maybe I am doing something right in this parenting thing after all.

I am really tired. We have lots and lots of pictures to put up from Christmas.

Be blessed and if I don't post again before the 1st....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Merry Christmas!

I woke up sick in the middle of the night; head is spinning and keep can't my balance. It's been bad all day. Kayla picked up the slack, without me even asking! She cleaned up the kitchen and put away the wrapping stuff, cleaned up the hallway that had pictures leaned on the wall from our mold clean up and boxes of "other stuff" that hadn't made my to-do list. I sincerely appreciate her work and efforts as we have company coming for our first Christmas Breakfast in the morning....

The weather is dreary, muggy, cloudy...yuck. Sure wish it was cold.

I have been counting down making a birthday cake for Jesus...today is the day, but with my spinning and sorts haven't gotten to it yet. Chris has started dinner, and we are going to try making the cake as soon as I finish this post. We had planned on making icing for sugar cookies also and putting together a Gingerbread House.... the cookies will be done with sprinkles and no icing and the Gingerbread House, well it will have to wait until tomorrow after gifts are opened and company is gone.

Kayla has already left with Justin to have their gift exchange and eat dinner.

In all the hustle and bustle, I hope you remember the purpose of the day...Christmas. To celebrate the birth of Christ. He came to be born, in order to die. He died for me, He died for you. Hallelujah! Merry Christmas!!

Another Day...

Another Sunday home; very discouraging. Kayla is very sick, dizzy spells, light headed, gets sick and lethargic shortly after every meal and is sleeping all the time. Chris was going to take the younger two with him this morning as I was up most of the night again. Unfortunately, we have a front coming through and there is a cold rain coming down. So much for quiet time for me. I was hoping for a cold Christmas this year, but seems the front that is leaving us with a high of 56 today will be gone by tomorrow and back in the 70's the rest of the week. Oh well, one day I will have a cold Christmas....maybe even a white one?!

Yesterday did not allow for the rest I was hoping for as Chris had to go in to work. What was supposed to be a couple hours turned into an eight hour day. I did manage to get three or four boxes unpacked from the hallway (boxes we had to pack up for the cabinets to be taken out). I don't know how I did it, but I have all the stuff put away without those bottom cabinets in! Now... where did I put the spatula?! Ha-ha:)

I have to go referee a four year old and a three year old!

More later. Be blessed.

It Was Me.

Well, I sit here today; ashamed. I posted a few days ago that I was dealing with some hurt feelings and anger. Today, I am ashamed I couldn't get past the point to see it clearly. I see it now. I honestly didn't think it was me, but it was. No ifs, ands or buts. Isn't that normally how it is though?! A few days ago, I was bound and determined to be heard and voice my anger, and thankfully I didn't get that opportunity or I'd be eating crow right about now. Today, I'm just overwhelmed and thankful. Enough said.


I have worked more this past week than I normally do, and boy am I exhausted. Last week I worked Wednesday with shopping and making diabetic cheese cakes for Pine Summit's Dessert Theater. Friday I finished baking those cheesecakes, baked cookies, made the tea, coffee...anyway, turned into a 12 hour day, Saturday and Sunday were much shorter with the cheesecakes being done, but nonetheless, I am not used to working a four day work week... then had to pull myself out of the bed yesterday to go cook for Wednesday dinner and tonight is The Most Excellent Way's Christmas Party! I love to cook and feed people, but man... am I ever tired! My house is a mess, dishes piled high, boxes of stuff still to be washed from the sawdust and sheet rock and still have boxes on my front porch of decoration and there is a huge pile of stuff still in my yard to be hauled off! I guess getting it all done by Christmas just isn't going to happen. The sooner I get that through my thick head the better off I, and my family will be! While I am tired, I am not complaining. The Lord is meeting our needs above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. Gleaning just came to my mind...inthe book of Ruth, I think it is called "gleaning" (is that the right spelling/word?) Ruth had to work for her provisions... the Lord just made it a little easier for her. The Lord's made it easier for us by using caring people to help us this year, and by giving me extra hours of work...to feed the hungry...every day folks like you and me... the hungry. I'm getting paid for what I love to do... how cool is that?! Pretty amazing to me.

Enough typing, time to wash:)

Orthopedic Doctor

Kayla and I just got in from her appointment with the Orthopedic Doctor. She has been taken off the splint and told to try using her leg as much as possible. She was given a steroid shot...yes, it was very, very painful. She goes back in three weeks. At that time, if it's not better, she will have to have a minor surgery for them to scope her knee. The doctor impressed me because when I told him she had been taken Loratab, he said, "She's coming off a narcotic, she's only 16!" I couldn't believe my ears. Usually, most doctor's want to cover up the pain and not address the issues at hand. I was impressed.

Also...we got a refrigerator today! It was being delivered as we were leaving and is set up and nice and cold! What a relief, I can cook for my family! We are having Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes and Mixed Veggies tonight...I am so excited! I haven't cooked a real meal in weeks.

I read a cool devotional this morning. I mentioned a few days ago how I tend to pull away from the Lord when trials occur because I don't like going to Him and complain and wine... my devotional wasn't a "real" devotional, but something out a book I picked up to read this morning. I love lighthouses. It was my first visual the Lord gave me, that He is our light, our Beacon of Hope, and just like He is that light, I too, am to be that light in a dark world. Anyway, it was a simple reading from "Lighthouse Psalms, God's Gift of Direction and Hope." I'd like to share it with you.

SEARCH FOR STRENGTH

Search for the Lord and for his strength, and keep on searching. Psalm 105:4.

Each night without fail, the faithful beam from the lighthouse searches the waters below. It stands as a guide for passing ships, a searchlight for ships in peril, and a warning of dangerous rocks and sandbars to vessels approaching the harbor. It is a tower of strength for those who depend upon its beam to light their way.

If you are searching for a tower of strength in your life - someone who will guide you safely through the troubled waters of life, someone who will rescue you in your time of distress, someone who will warn you away from the obstacles that lay hidden in your path - open your heart to God. He will be there when you need Him most.

Something I noticed, that reading does not say He will be there for you only in good times. Does not say that in all, but in contrary. But, what's cool too, is that even in the calm, the lighthouse remains. It's not just there for the storms, it's not just there for the calm seas, it's always there. "Instead of pulling away next time Lord, help me to run to you as fast as I can."

You know, another thing, since I am being so real today. I have allowed a person, a group of person's break my heart. I am hurting very badly and I am angry. I have attempted to make an appointment to speak to one of these people, but was told I could not. I am praying, and honestly, I don't mean it when I pray it, but I am praying it anyway, that MY PART OF THIS, if it's petty and silly, would go away. I know what the Bible says that man will disappoint and that is why we are to put our trust in the Lord. All I know is my heart is hurting right now. I would appreciate your prayers in this kind of unspoken area.

I'm running to you Lord....wow...His arms are wide open and waiting on me!

Prayer Request

Ooops, I just got a frantic call from my mother saying my grandmother wanted to know what was going on with me! Sorry, this is not me, but is a copy of an email that was sent to me from my friend Lori. She is having the surgery this weekend.

Dear Family and Friends:

I am writing to you asking for prayers for me. About two weeks ago, during my annual exam at the gynecologist, they found a mass (size of a large grapefruit) on my right ovary. This Saturday, December 20th at 8:00 am I will have surgery at Sacred Heart Hospital to remove the mass, the right ovary and any thing else that doesn't appear to be "normal". The blood work called a CA125 was very promising that it is just a mass, but they will do further testing once they get it out. I will be in the hospital 1 night possibly 2. Please pray for the my doctor - Dr. Antonetti, for the anesthetic doctor, for all the other professionals that will assist in the surgery, for me for peace and for my family. Thank you in advance for your prayers. I know that God is in control, but I'm human!!!! I do appreciate and love you all. Lori

PS - Please feel free to forward this - would not decline additional prayers!!! :-)