Treasure's From Life's Garden

Loving Through Disappointment

2012-01-27T08:44:00.000-06:00

Putting this plea out there and would like your input from as many of you as possible.

How do you, or have you, learned (or relearned) to loved through disappointment?

What scriptures have helped you?

Did you fake it till you could love again?

Or maybe you gave up?

When did it, if ever, become "OK" again?

This morning, in my journal/quiet time, the Lord told me to pray about learning to love through disappointment.

You know, that thing called, "unconditional love."

I think it is something we all experience in one way or another; be it with a spouse, or child(ren), a family member, or a close friend; whethere we were the one disappointed or even did the disappointing.

While I am studying this, I would really like your input!

IF this is too personal of a question to answer, please feel free to email me at thepadenfamily@gmail.com.

Thank you :)

Stacey

Small Potatoes!

2012-01-18T08:29:00.000-06:00

Yesterday when I read my Jesus Calling devotional, I read one of yesterday's scriptures and the other ones were for today's. Of course, I didn't notice that until this morning.

I did noticed they didn't seem to go directly hand in hand like they usually do, but nonetheless they spoke volumes.

Today, as I am writing out the scriptures in my journal, I thought, "OK Lord, you MUST really be trying to tell me something . . . didn't we just do this one?" After checking, I noticed the error.

I re-wrote the scriptures that were meant for today and THEN was prompted by the Holy Spirit to read and write out yesterday's scriptures . . . . .

SO appropriate for a woman that was filled with anxiety and worrisome thoughts until the wee hours of the morning!

Philippians 4:19, "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4: 6- 7, "Do not worry about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Today's scriptures that was read yesterday and today . . . . . (I read this is many translations, but then read it in the message . . . . loved the way it was put!)

2 Corinthians 4: 16 - 18, "So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever."

ISN'T THAT JUST GOOD YA'LL!?!

Habakkuk 3:19, "Yahweh my Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like those of a deerand enables me to walk on mountain heights."

Not sure what you are struggling with today, whether it's worrisome thoughts, or tired and weary, but I pray you will be filled with a peace given only by the Father.

Give me feet like a deer, Lord, as you take me to new heights! Amen!

"Lord, Turn My Fear, Into Faith . . . "

2012-01-14T17:48:00.000-06:00

Our only car broke down Friday afternoon on my way to a cleaning job.

The intake manifold has a hole in it; either that or there is a blown head gasket. Estimated repairs ran from $550 to $1200; more if it's the head gasket. We were without a vehicle indefinitely.

I went to bed last night unsure. Was taking it all in; trying to not be faithless, but living in reality.

When I awoke this morning, the heaviness I carried had transformed into a peace that I knew everything was going to be OK. Not OK with the car; but OK with the circumstances we faced.

We can learn bus routes.

We can change schedules.

We can walk.

It was going to be OK.

This was my morning's journal notes:

"Well, Lord, where do I begin? All I know to do is make a list of my fears and give them to you, so here goes:

With no vehicle,

Chris' classes at night -- how will he get home? 9:40 at night in the cold and rain, plus it is so far away to ride a bike
Kaitlyn to school and home
Christopher to PATS and home
Appointments with Christopher's therapist and psychiatrist
Appointments with Christopher's occupational therapist
Appointments with Christopher's speech
The thought of not getting to Pine Summit Baptist Church breaks our (mine and Chris') hearts
Prescriptions for kids
How do I get to the houses I need to clean?
How will Chris get to his side job?
How do I get clothing to Nothing Lost Outreach for the homeless?

I am sure there are more than that underneath the yuck and frustrations. I don't know your reasons for allowing us to lose our only car, but I give you this list of worries.

Turn my fears into faith and opportunities to glorify You, Lord. I'll do it time and time again.

I trust Your provisions to either have the car repaired or replaced; or money to ride the bus and a peace while working out schedules.

While I am fighting emotions, I need You to know I trust You.

I reiterate again, what I have said before, I'll take poor with You than riches on earth any day.

Take my fears, answer them as praises - be glorified."

Then my "Jesus Calling" devotional (which I always read AFTER journaling) read,

"LET ME BLESS YOU with My grace and Peace. Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you. Do not be ashamed of your emptiness. Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My Peace.

It is easy to touch up your outward appearance, to look as if you have it all together. Your attempts to look good can fool most people. But I see straight through you, into the depths of your being. There is no place for pretense in your relationship with Me. Rejoice in the relief of being fully understood. Talk with Me about your struggles and feelings of inadequacy. Little by little, I will transform your weakness (the fear I journaled about) into strengths (the faith I desire). Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace. Therefore, nothing that you do or don't do can separate you from My presence."

I Samuel 16:7, But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Romans 8:38 - 39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

That quickly, He confirmed my hearts desire to trust Him more!

We had UpWard Basketball games this morning at Olive Baptist.

My sister picked us up and took us home. I am thankful for her husband in coordinating transportation for his family, so my family could get there.

On the way home I had a message from the mechanic. Our last conversation last night was for him to not do anything as we only had $200 to our name and that was for the power bill; that I would call him today and let him know what we would do with the car.

His message stated that he had a mechanic that does side work. The mechanic had a used manifold thing (the part that has a hole in it). The cost (including the used part and his labor), $140. If he can not reuse my car's oil gasket's, then it would be $40 more. If I was interested, to give him a call.

Yes.

I CALLED HIM BACK QUICKLY!

Our car now sits in our driveway. It was ready before 4:00 p.m. today.

The total was $160. The extra $20 had to cover new spark plus as the ones that were in it were destroyed from gasoline flooding the engine.

There is no warranty; but we have a car. I'm not worried though, who needs a warranty when I have a Savior.

A Savior that tells me "my ways are not His ways."

A Savior that tells me, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

A Savior that tells me, to "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. "

I could go on with all the scripture references of His provisions, of His merciful and gracious hand, but I will leave you with an encouraging word and scripture that I received from a dear sweet friend . . . . she wrote,

"Had you on my mind and God breathed this verse (though I don't usually quote the last sentence, you need it!):

"There is none like the God of Israel who rides the heavens to your help (MY rescuer) and through the skies in His majesty. The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms. And He drove out the enemy from before you, and said, 'DESTROY!' " Deut. 33:26-27

As I am covered in goosebumps from that scripture, THIS SONG came to my mind!

BE READY FRIENDS! HE IS COMING!

"Father, I pray you will find me faithful in glorifying You, in all things. Forgive me when my faith is little. I praise You for Your provisions. Thank you for the way you met the needs of our family. I praise You Father! Amen!"

Fibromyalgia, Baptizing, Grace AND Forgiveness!

2012-01-13T10:30:00.000-06:00

Several years ago I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. FINALLY, there was a "name" to all these "feelings of insanity!"

In recent months a friend of mine, Ann Ferguson, started a blog, Restoring My Soul. She is also on facebook; you can find her here at: Restoring My Soul FB.

I have also added a link to her blog under "My Blog List," located on the left side of this page.

IF you live with and struggle with Fibromyalgia (or any other disorders that leave you drained and exhausted), then I encourage you to check out her sites! I promise, you will find helpful tips and encouraging scriptures!

I also added the Pine Summit Baptist web site under, "My Links." Several weeks ago, we sensed the Lord moving in our lives and He confirmed over and over the move; making Pine Summit our home church.

With that said, Christopher will be Baptized on Sunday night at Olive, by Jon Dubois. Jon led Christopher to the Lord on September 23, 2011.

We received an answer to prayer regarding Kaitlyn yesterday. Will share a post about that in the coming days. The answer to prayer gave us a glimmer of hope. We are thankful, but also feel horrible for thinking what she was doing was for attention.

Thank God for grace and forgiveness! They sure go hand in hand!

Blessings my friends,

Stacey

Crock Pot Chicken Pot Pie Stew! Oh MY!

2012-01-12T18:18:00.000-06:00

WARNING! If you do not have SELF CONTROL, then do NOT make this if you have trouble stopping with one serving . . . not helping, serving!

I got the recipe off of allrecipes.com and searched for slow cooker chicken recipes.

I changed the recipe a bit; so I am going to give it to you as I made it. You can adjust and make it your own as I did; but it's super great and super easy!

3 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts cut into small bites
2 1/2 medium red potatoes, quartered
1/2 cup baby carrots
1/2 cup chopped celery
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of celery
1 tsp Chicken Base (I thought it was too salty, so the next time I fix this I will not add it. Chris thought it was perfect . . . so it depends on your salt taste.)
1/2 tsp Garlic Salt
Black Pepper
16 ounces frozen mixed vegetables

Combine chicken, potatoes, carrots, celery, soup, chicken base, garlic salt, black pepper in crock pot. Cook on high for 4 hours.

Stir in frozen mixed veggies into the slow cooker and cook 1 hour more.

The recipe showed serving it over biscuits; well I didn't have any and WAS NOT going to make them from scratch (would have defeated the purpose of crock pot cookin' to me!); so I pulled out good ole Pillsbury Crescents!

It was FANTASTIC! Yes, biscuits would have been better; but wow!

I have been really trying to watch my eating; and started to not even eat this; but I had a very small portion with one crescent and am full! It does not take much to satisfy; promise!

Hope you enjoy!

Stacey

Worshipping Idols

2012-01-11T09:20:00.000-06:00

This morning, a friends facebook status read, ""Avoid comparing yourself to someone else. You are on your own journey, and only you (and God) can define the path you're going to take."

Reminded me of something Pastor Donnie said Sunday, "Who are you modeling yourself after and trying to be like? If it is anyone other than God, then you have just worshipped an idol."

WHOA!

Instantly, I knew I was guilty as charged.

Why do we do it?

Why do we want so desperately what others have?

Why at 40 years old would a person still secretly yearn to be a part of the "in crowd?"

Why does that matter?

Is it not being content in all things?

Is it seeing special treatment and yearning for that acceptance?

Is it that twang of jealousy that you thought was dealt with?

I don't know the answers to those questions, but what I do know is that my personal walk is being challenged, and purified . . . . refined as silver.

Over the last three months I have gorged daily.

I have gained 10 pounds of the 54 I lost.

I had already struggled eating since my surgery; and then as the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday's approached, and baking crept in, and snack foods appeared; and toss in to that the emotions of having my oldest daughter "fly the coop," I was one big blubbering mess.

Every morning for three months I popped chocolate while drinking my coffee.

Every time I walked in or through the kitchen I reached for something to put in my mouth.

Every night before bed, I had cookies and milk or pop tart loaded with butter with a glass of ice cold milk.

Every morning, I cried out to God, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

As each day has continued in this vicious cycle for three months, I have found more and more reason to have conflict with my husband. Evey little thing he has done has driven me NUTS!

Each day that continued I felt more sorry for myself and beat myself up more and more. My journaling turned to whining instead of praising.

"Why couldn't I get my focus back? What is wrong with me?" were daily questions, asked multiple times a day.

My heart was yearning, but my head was telling myself I couldn't do and it was just a waste of time to even try.

God has given me the most remarkable woman to be my accountability partner. Just days ago, she called to check in on me, and when she asked how I was doing I said, "Well, I have a bag of Cheetos (the crunchy ones, not those filled with air) in front of me I've been eating and now I am on to popcorn and milk duds; what does that tell you?"

She said, "Stacey, I heard in your voice something just wasn't right. You know you can tell me anything."

Yes. I was able to unload burden after burden. I knew that because of Whose she is. She has invested time in me and I knew she would be praying and making intercession on my behalf.

Yesterday morning, I cut through the crap and journaled, "I am miserable. I am gorging. Please help."

God spoke, "It is time."

With that, I went to the kitchen to prepare the first healthy breakfast I have had in months; 2.5 oz of lean ham, an egg, and an apple.

Feeling a sense of, "Ok, I can do this;" I messaged my mentor of this accomplishment.

To my amazement, she responded, "You were sooo on my heart when I was getting ready this morning. The phrase, "Don't undo the work I have done in you" came from God. And it was intercession for you, my friend! It's all good. Love you much!"

Just reading those words again, taking in a deep breath and getting fresh oxygen to the brain and lungs rejuvenates me!

As women, we (I) must stop comparing ourselves (myself) to other women; to their size, to their house, to their cars, to the number of friends they have, to their wallets, to their activities, . . . no wonder plastic surgery is so popular and the world is in debt.

We are worshipping idols! (Ok, maybe none of you reading this are guilty of it, but I am.)

"Lord forgive me I pray. Take my walk deeper than ever. Keep me ground and ever so dependent on You and You alone. Amen."

The Hand of God

2012-01-08T21:04:00.000-06:00

I am in awe.

Chris went out to get the cat in; there were about eight bags of groceries on our front porch! My mind is blown! God met some secret needs and used someone that wished to remain anonymous to do it. We've been home all night; didn't hear a thing . . . . of course, if one of the kids was a hollarin' we wouldn't have heard anyone if they banged and banged! But that's another story!

Thank you, whoever was used to provide.

I pray you are blessed beyond your thoughts, and that God awe's you in a way that you did us tonight!

Shalom!

WHAT Is Normal?!

2012-01-05T09:29:00.001-06:00

I am struggling today.

No, I've been struggling for several weeks now; it's just to the point now I am slap worn down.

In the midst of every day life we expect trials; I know this. The scriptures tell us in John 16:33 that we WILL have troubles in this world, but that we are to FEAR NOT for He has overcome the world. It also tells us that IN HIM, we can have peace. *Sigh . . . . *

So where is my peace?

While I continue with my journaling, my quiet time, and even recently, our family has started reading the Bible together at night and having a prayer time involving all of us, I still have no peace, no comfort, no sense of making sense.

Instead, I am angry, jealous, and convinced God messed up big time when He gave me not one, but two special needs children.

I know. I am sure as you read that you gasped thinking I am a horrible mother; and that is OK for you to think that.

I love my children with all my heart; probably too much.

In fact, on a side note, let me give you an example of why I say that.

My oldest daughter, Kayla, flew out Thursday night (a week ago tonight) to be with her fiance that is stationed in San Diego, CA. They were married Friday at 2:45 p.m. Pacific Time at the court house amongst some friends.

Kayla kept me alive through years of drunken stupidity. MANY times I wanted to die and had it all figured out how to make that happen; but the only thing that stopped me was the fear that resonated deep within that if I killed myself, then her dad would raise her. He was a drunk (and still is) as well. In my, at the time sick and demented mind, I could do a better job than he could with raising her, so I always chickened out.

I've carried that secret with me for many years, until now.

While cleaning a house the Friday afternoon after she flew out, I lost it emotionally. I cried for two house, sobbing and weeping; realizing she was gone. Amongst my cry out to God, I said, "God, how will I ever go on without her? She was my life!"

It was then, I heard from God.

He said, "Stacey, have you ever wept over the things of God like you are weeping over your daughter?"

THEN, I wept in seeking repentance, because the answer, was "No, Lord, I have not."

In trying to keep that ugly honesty in the forefront of my brain, to try and love God more than my children, and to weep over the things that truly cause God pain, in dealing with in general "life" issues, there still remains the fact that I have two special needs children that I love and adore above all things; that bring smiles to my face time after time again, that count of me to help them when they can't make things right; that are sucking the life out of me.

It is at this point of exhaustion and lack of sleep, lack of answers, and wanting to know what God was thinking when He gave a once drunk, with a HOT temper, two children that would need more love and patience than I can sometimes give.

It is then . . . . . in those weak moments that I become jealous, envious, and yes, sometimes angry over what other have.

No, I am not talking about financially here people. I am FINALLY at peace with the fact that we are poor. I am at peace with the fact that we are in a house . . . . no, a home, that is falling apart. I am at peace with the fact that we have one beautiful car covered in white chipped paint and the beautiful color of . . . . hmmmm, what's that called, rustic red?! Ha! I am at peace with the fact that we do not go on vacations, that we do not buy just because. I am at peace and FINALLY ok with the fact that when my friends are out getting pedicures and their nails done that I am scrubbing mud clumps out my son's fingernails, I am at peace and THANKFUL for hand me down furniture and clothing, and I am at peace with ALL of that because my God has provided again, and again, and again for us . . . He has been faithful above and beyond in meeting the needs of many needs, and EVEN some of those wants we have! Because of seeing the hand of God so many times in these areas of provisions, I know beyond a shadow of doubt, my God has my family's back . . . . For THAT I give Him praise!

The jealousy and envy I speak of, that rages in me is one that is so shameful that I hate to even admit.

It's the jealousy of "normal" kids.

Now, before I go on, don't tell me what normal is. Ok. I've heard it all before. I know there are many levels of normality out there. I also know there are families that have it a lot worse than we do; so I try, in my chaos of a life to be thankful . . . I really do.

The normality I am talking about wanting is a child that can sit still for more than 3 minutes. A child that doesn't punch and scream and yell at the rest of the family cause he can't figure out what is going on in his brain. A child that switches from rage to tears in a heart beat when he realizes he just hit his momma, or bit her, or pulls his sister's hair out, or runs screaming from one end of the house to the other without any control because he heard something; or runs out the house screaming bloody murder like he is being beaten and genuinely fearful of his life . . . Or a child that doesn't wake up screaming and crying because she itches all over, or seams in her pants and shirts don't bother her, and cries for four hours because she can't make just one letter perfect, so the erases, and re-erases, and re-erases over and over trying to form that one. perfect. letter. Or the child that doesn't have to not only have tags cut out, but even the tagless clothing items don't bother them because even the tagless items still itch because those stupid black letters are rough. Or a child that isn't afraid to take showers because she can't get dry afterwards and that doesn't cry and try for hours to get dry when they already are. Or what about a child that is afraid to go pee because she can't get the wet feeling to go away and holds it for 12 hours a day until her stomach hurts.

Those, and many more other reasons, are why I am sincerely struggling and weary this morning.

I know, I know, I know, God has a plan.

I know that in my weakness He is my strength (trust me, He is the one doing ALL the carrying right now).

I know His grace is sufficient.

I know God uses cracked vessels (and I definitely have lots of cracks, lumps, and stretches too!).

I know God has a plan.

I know all the scriptures; I know these things.

But still, even loving my children with all this momma's heart, I find myself wishing for just a glimpse of normality.

And then, in that same wish for a glimpse of normality, I find myself fearful of how that prayer would be answered; and I try to once again, be grateful for what I have been given.

If you are reading this, your prayers are needed for us today.

Our youngest has a doctor appointment this morning to check for a bladder infection from holding her urine so long and to check into occupational therapy for her.

For the days Christopher has good days, I am thankful; as many of my Kaitlyn's have been horrifying. When they both are having bad days, it is more draining that words can even explain.

I thank you for your intercession on our family's behalf. At times, it is the only comfort we have.

In my prayer journal this morning I wrote, "Hear my cries, Lord. Strengthen and encourage me this day. I need to see Your hand. I love you and trust you. Amen."

Christmas At The Paden's

2011-12-30T20:55:00.002-06:00

We celebrated Christmas many days this year.

Since I would be at Nothing Lost Outreach on Christmas Day, my husband and I decided to have our Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve Day.

Dad came over from Tallahassee, Ron and Michelle were here, Jon and Angie, Memaw joined us, and of course, my mom. We had a wonderful feast! I love family get-to-gethers and don't think we have nearly enough of them!

During the last few weeks, my oldest, Kayla, has been preparing for a move to California to marry her fiance' that is stationed out there.

We had a farewell dinner, but with the holiday's, not all the family was able to join us; so we had a "second" Christmas feast/farewell dinner for Kayla this past Wednesday evening. It was very special to my heart.

I took over 1,041 pictures over a three day period, and then more on Wednesday night! . . . Yes, I have a problem!

I am still working on all those pictures and will post them eventually; but I wanted to share the link to some pictures from Nothing Lost Outreach's first Christmas. While all the family events were wonderful, serving at NLO made my Christmas!

The link to the pictures is, www.nothinglostoutreach.blogspot.com.

I trust you spent savoring moments with the Savior this Christmas Season, and for 2012, I wish you peace and closeness with the Father.

Stacey

The Winner is . . . .Christmas Skin Care AND Scarf Give-A-Way!

2011-12-13T21:33:00.000-06:00

Ann Ferguson is the winner of my skin care and scarf give-a-way! Congratulations Ann F!

I also have a SECOND scarf (without the skin care) to give away and the winner of that is Melissa S!

Thank you for all that entered!

I pray you all have a wonderful Christmas and spend time being thankful for the birth of our Savior!

Blessings,

Stacey

I haven't hosted a give-a-way in a YEAR! I can't believe it!

Genics is not just a great product, but it's one that I use daily!

I have very sensitive eyes. I've tried the other products, and while they work GREAT; they make my eyes water.

This product does not and I like that!

I initially intended to give-a-way the scarf that comes with this purchase, but decided to give a way the skin care AND the scarf together!

To enter, simply leave your name and email address in the comment section.

If you do not have a google account, you can leave a comment by clicking "anonymous" and then putting your name and email in the comment section.

The deadline to enter the give-a-way is Friday at 11:00 a.m. central time. You may enter as long as your are in the United States.

I will announce the winner on this blog and on my facebook page (Stacey Bruntlett Paden). I will also email the winner (as long as an email address is left in the comment section.)

Thank you for entering, and Merry Christmas!

Stacey

Hearing From The Father . . . .

2011-12-13T08:36:00.000-06:00

Several months ago I dropped my AVON customer load by half; keeping very few individual customers and mainly busyness's and the two churches I participated in.

I kept the customer's then because I have a special relationship with each of them; and honestly, I lived in fear of the "what if's," if I had stopped selling AVON.

I rationalized that "God would not be telling me to stop selling AVON when it is the only income coming in. He just wouldn't do that!" So I continued. . . . .

I continued to do what I thought others expected me to do.

In the last few months, we have had to make multiple, major car repairs on our only car. We are putting in over $80 a week in gas alone; not including the wear and tear.

I do not make enough selling AVON to even put gas in my car anymore.

As my work and homeschooling at home has increased and my place of service has been made known among the homeless, the once enjoyable time of selling AVON decreases.

A friend stated to me the other day, "Jesus was called many things, but He was never called busy."

Those words have changed my life!

They have radiated deep into the depths of my soul.

Have I continued selling AVON in direct disobedience?

Have I been doing this in fear of what others would think if I stopped?

Is me continuing to sell AVON the reason the heaviness lies over me?

These are the questions I have been running through my heart and mind for days and even months.

I am asking God to give me a confirmation that would be ever so evident. I am asking God to give me a peace about what I believe He is showing me and that there would be no guilt.

Please join me in praying for the clarity and peace that can only come from The Father.

Thank you for interceding for a weary heart!

Stacey

Consider Trials Joy?! AAGH!

2011-12-10T12:16:00.001-06:00

Update! After speaking with the mechanic that did $425 worth of work on our car this past Monday; he agreed work was done on the car that was not asked! I picked up a refund of $99.97!

This morning, my reading from the Jesus Calling devotional was on trials.

Ironic?

Not at all; but, instead a divine appointment to encourage through a rough day.

It reads:

MAKE THE FOCAL POINT of your search for security. In your private thoughts, you are still trying to order your world so that it is predictable and feels safe. Not only is this an impossible goal, but it is also counterproductive to spiritual growth. When your private world feels unsteady and you grip My hand for support, you are living in conscious dependence on Me.

Instead of yearning for a problem-free life, rejoice that trouble can highlight your awareness of My Presence. In the darkness of adversity, you are able to see more clearly the radiance of My Face. Accept the value of problems in this life, considering them pure joy. Remember that you have an eternity of trouble-free living awaiting you in heaven.

Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Psalm 139:10, "even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

James 1:2, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,. . . "

How perfect is that? The bold words are the ones that spoke to me personally.

I've known trials were coming.

When one is listening and doing what the Lord tells them to do, satan gets mad.

"Prepare for the fiery darts" is what Eddie Echarri always told me.

The scriptures tell us that in this world we will have trouble.

If one has been a Christian for any length of time, then you'd know that statement is all too true.

For our family, it is always, and I mean always, financial and medical.

At times I feel like a broken record player; not that I am doubting that the Lord will provide (because I know He will; He has always shown Himself faithful); but from being weary of the attacks over and over and over.

Is it a means of keeping me humble? Is it a lack of faith? Is it that we are not truly hearing from the Lord and are off track?

These are the questions that play in my mind day in and day out.

Will we EVER get a break? Why do some never seem to struggle?

Why?

We had to have $425 worth of work done on our car this last week.

Today the car broke down, again; leaving me stranded and trying to get from one basketball game to another.

My soul is weary. Tears have fallen all day. I know the Lord will provide; He has time and time again; it just gets old sometimes.

The repair needed to the car is another $400, if it's done correctly. Or, as the mechanic kindly put it, he can rig it and bypass the problem and "make it work." That cost, $100.

Now, if you read yesterday's post, you will know that a woman I don't even know (had only met her one time), gave us a Christmas gift yesterday. It was a Visa Gift Card of $100.

While my heart is rejoicing that God met another need that I didn't even know was coming at us, my mind, body, and soul remains weary.

I find myself wishing for an escape from reality these days. I guess, OK, I know the Lord knew that because He sent a brother in Christ this morning to encourage me. Quoting the same scriptures from my devotional this morning, James 1:2.

I quoted a scripture earlier that said, "In this world you will have trials." But I didn't quote the entire scripture.

It reads:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart (FEAR NOT)! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

On weary days like today, I rest in knowing My Father in Heaven has a divine plan. In Him, and only Him, I can have peace.

Pray for us please. Pray that we would hear from Heaven. I don't want to be out of the Lord's will, and if that is what all these attacks are about, then I need to hear from Him. IF they are because we ARE doing what the Lord wants us to do, then we need the peace that only He can give.

Blessings to you,

Stacey

What Does A Florida Fan, An Alabama Fan, AND a DAWG Fan Have In Common?

2011-12-09T11:06:00.001-06:00

I have had several ladies at my house this week to help in the NEVER-ending endeavor to sort clothing donated.

While the response to help clothe the homeless has been phenomenal, it has also become overwhelming. Overwhelming to the point where I have had to put a hold on all the donations until I can finish separating what has already been donated.

My front porch is covered, my living room, my kitchen, and my dining room are filled with bags and boxes to sort.

In one of my anxiety filled moments, I cried out to God, "I can't do this, Lord! There is so much and ONE person can't make a difference; are you crazy? Especially NOT me! I can't live like this!"

After my rantings, God said, "What I have called you to do, I will equip you to do. Ask for help."

With that, I put out a plea for help.

This week, I have had help every day but Thursday!

On Monday, a friend of mine, Sheri, came over with another lady, Gracie, to help. They knocked out much! (I forgot to take a picture . . . . sorry!)

Tuesday, a friend of a friend, Christi, came.

Wednesday, Sheri came again.

Today, Friday, Sheri and Gracie came again!

When Gracie walked in, she handed me a Christmas card! I was so excited, my first one! I haven't even bought cards this year and doubt that I do. Not a bah-hum-bug, but just not practical for this season in our lives.

As I opened the card, another card fell out.

It was a gift card!

The tears started immediately as in my journal just this morning I wrote, "God, I know I am not supposed to worry, and I know you have taken care of the kids Christmas gifts, but I need stocking stuffers, my water bill is past due and due for disconnect; we only have enough money for January's mortgage and I haven't EVEN thought about the property taxes! I am exhausted from just givin them back over and over again."

Am I the only one that struggles with this? Is it a lack of faith to have to keep giving "things" continuously back to the Lord? Anyway . . . .

Christopher was there with me when I opened the card.

I have the sweetest little boy ;) God indeed made him special!

I love being able to show my children how God has provided for us time and time again. It is even more special to this momma's heart when I had just poured my heart out to God Almighty. The fact is, the gift card was purchased even before my plea to the Father . . . He knew the need before I even had to ask!

How comforting and reassuring that God is in control and that He has a plan. Makes me smile :)

In the midst of the ladies working, Sheri hollared, "Hey, you've got a lot of clothing good for keeping people warm. All you'd have to do is gather all the shirts that look like THIS and catch them on fire!"

As I turned to look, she was holding up an Alabama shirt!!

Now, anybody that knows me, knows I do not like Alabama.

I do not like Florida.

I am a GEORGIA FAN!

But what is so cool, is that between an Alabama fan that donated their clothing items to clothe the homeless, a Florida fan that is donating her time so the homeless can get some clothing, and a Georgia fan that is just putting out the word for needs that the homeless have, that lives are being touched in the name of Jesus!

So what do we have in common? Jesus. King Jesus! The One that defeated death. The One that is living now, making intercession on His children's behalf! The One that is coming again!

Hallelujah!

Hebrews 13:20 & 21, "Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen."

Christmas Day Serving Opportunity

2011-12-08T19:12:00.001-06:00

I need help on Christmas Day to serve and clean the kitchen at Nothing Lost Outreach.
We will be serving a meal that has been prepared by Waterfront Mission beginning at 2:30.

If you are available to serve, I need you there at 1:30. The food will arrive at 2:00; so there might be some standing around time but I need hands available for me to delegate so I can be with our guests. From 2 to 2:30 we will be scrambling to keep the food warm and serve.

We need food servers and meal servers. At NLO we have servants that serve our guests their meal. They do not go through the line.

The clean up should be minimal which brings me to the next need, clean up crew!

IF you are available, please respond so I can see where the needs lie.

There will be NO showers, haircuts or clothing distribution on Christmas Day. We will have a worship and devotion time beginning at 3:30.

I will have minimal clothing for emergency situations, ie blankets, sleeping bags, shoes, and jackets. Please begin praying the Lord would quicken my spirit for particular needs as He did on Thanksgiving!

Thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus.

Please email me at thepadens@cox.net if you are interested in serving.

Thank you!

Christmas Crafts & Baking; Family Style!

2011-12-07T08:13:00.001-06:00

I had been watching and waiting for many months for a particular cup cake pan to go on sale through AVON. Well, it finally did! With my discount, I would get a great price, AND the Lord allowed for some extras sales, so I got it! It is a cup cake pan that has a wire lid type that allows for holes to be made in the cupcakes so one could stuff it with filling!

With that, I came up with an idea to make Christmas cupcakes (cause my cookies NEVER turn out good)!

My sister and her children, along with my mom came over Saturday to make Christmas cupcakes, cookies and Pine Cone Christmas Trees!

Since we are all so busy and we see each other so very little; when we DO have moments together, I take LOTS of pictures!

We started off walking down the street to see if we could see Santa riding on the back of the fire truck! He was on the street and apartment complex that sits almost directly behind our house, so after waiting and waiting for him to come down our street; we set out to find him! While we never did see Santa, we did find fun! And yes, I took lots of pictures of the kids . . . . being kids!

When we got back home, the kids each painted a mini clay pot to use as the base for their Christmas Tree. Each child picked their color(s).

Christmas Crafts!

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While we were painting, Mom was putting cookies in the oven.

Once they all got through painting their pots, we decorated cupcakes! This gave the pots some drying time and got the kids off their seats!

Yes, they were DELICIOUS!

After the cupcakes we decorated Sugar Cookies with Mom’s Mint Icing (YUM!)

Cookie Time!

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SEVERAL hours later we got to finish our Pine Tree Christmas Trees!

Pine Cone Christmas Tree Craft!

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I know there are many photos on here; but each one tells a story and I just couldn’t choose between them.

This Christmas season, slow down enough to spend time with the family God has given you.

Make memories, and take a few pictures!

There is Gonna Be A PARTAY!

2011-11-28T09:16:00.001-06:00

A dear friend of mine came to serve at Nothing Lost Outreach on Thanksgiving Day. After one visit, just like so many others, she saw the very Hand of God and she knew she wanted to be a part.

Please read the following invitation she has made to each and every one of you. It is lengthy, but it is important you read every word.

IF you have a blog, I ask you to please share this post. Lets take this nation wide, and provide for the men and women on the streets.

On Thanksgiving Day, the City of Pensacola Police Department went through all the camps (in the City), giving them 24 hours to get out or have their belongings burned.

There are hundreds and hundreds with nothing.

Here is your invitation and a list of gifts she would like to have . . . .

I will be 50 years old in 50 days! How exciting!

This time, I'd like to do something different.

I want presents!!!

Lots of them!!!

Since Christmas is coming, I'm sure many of you would like to upgrade some things at your home. If so, I'd like your old bicycles, tents, blankets and clothes.

Don't forget shoes - work boots are great!

I'd also like some socks and new underwear - ladies and men's sizes small - large. NEW PLEASE!

Adult medium size Depends would be cool!

Jackets and coats would be on my list too.

I'd also like a few dog kennels - 2 large ones and 2 small ones.

I would like your paper bags from the grocery store and some storage tubs.

Do you have any shelves that I can have???

I would like to have some chain link and posts to build a kennel or two or three. I'll probably need a few bags of quickcrete for that too. And I'll need whatever it is that you use to connect the chain link to the posts!

I know that I'm asking a for a lot, but I'm asking for a good reason.

You may have a lot of this stuff just laying around.

If you would like to bless me with a few birthday presents, you could drop them by the church where I work - Robin Pitsenbarger, C/O Pine Summit Baptist Church, 2920 Bellview Ave., Pensacola, FL, 32526.

If you had stuff to mail, you could use the same address. I'm so flexible (call me Gumby!) that I'll come pick it up!

Now let me tell you about my Thanksgiving Day.

I went to Nothing Lost Outreach to serve Thanksgiving dinner to some homeless folks. I met Gunny and Walt there. Gunny needed some new pants, socks and some Depends. He has some health issues and hospice was able to give him a walker. Walt was there looking out for Gunny. I heard later from my friend Stacey that when everything was over and she was going home, she saw Gunny going down the road and he gave his extra food we had given him to another homeless guy on the side of the road.

I also met Jay. He needed some boots and God had let Stacey know she needed to bring them that day even though she didn't know anyone needed them (the exact size).

I went back over there today. I wanted to make sure that Jay got a tent. I had found only 2 at Wal-Mart the other day for $16.88 each.

There was another guy that needed a tent so I decided to run over to the Wal-Mart on 29, which is right around the corner. They didn't have any 2-man tents. The next size up was $34.88.

Did I mention that it's raining outside today?

My heart was broken.

I picked up a tarp for $20 and headed to the cashier.

She had on those silly reindeer antlers. I told her that she was the first thing that made me smile in that store and I needed one. She asked me if I found everything I needed and I told her no, I hadn't found anything that I needed. She asked what I was looking for and I told her. She called over another lady who had them check in the back of the store. She then called the manager over. He went in the back and then called up front for me to go back to the sports section.

He asked me if the 4-man tents would do - for $16.88!

He gave me 2 of them for that price!!!!!

I was in tears by that time. You see, it's not just about being able to help someone else out, it's about how often I see Jesus in the people that selflessly help out a stranger.

I know some of the things on my list sound strange, like the kennels; BUT, folks can't bring their dogs in. I really don't want them to miss out on hearing the gospel just because they can't bring their dogs.

Will I be back next Sunday? Yes, my van already has another tent, some blankets, clothes and shoes in it. I can hardly wait!

Now, I know this is a pretty long note but I hope you have taken the time to read it.

If, by chance, you have some cash left over, I wish that you would keep KlaasKIDS Search Center for Missing & Trafficked Children on your mind and send them a donation. I have recently gone through some training with them and have more coming up. What a great group of people! You can send donations to: KlaasKIDS, 9260 Cove Ave,Pensacola, FL 32534.

Thank you for making this my best birthday ever! I've learned that it's not all about me, it's all about God!

Love each and every one of you!

NOW! How is THAT for a life that has been changed by the very HAND OF GOD!

Let's make this the best birthday ever for Robin!

Give Them Jesus

2011-11-28T09:03:00.001-06:00

A friend sent this song to me. As I listened to the words, I thought, "She is singing my heart's prayer!" Then I realized, she is singing about what Nothing Lost Outreach IS doing!

Praise God!

Give Them Jesus!

The Most Wonderful Time . . . Of The Year!

2011-11-26T21:25:00.001-06:00

The Christmas Season is my favorite time of the year. I love the lights, the decorations, the candles that smell of baked pies and real Christmas Trees and QVC!

In past years I have started the count down to Christmas on July 25th.

Christmas shopping has always begun on that day and Black Friday was ALWAYS a huge event for me.

But not this year.

Oh DON'T get me wrong! It's still my favorite time of the year; but this year, it's different.

There is a remarkable peace between the household, and an understanding amongst my husband and myself, of what really is important.

Last year, my then five year old asked me, point blank to my face, "Is Santa real?" I looked at her and said, "Yes." Now, I know that millions of kids around the world believe in Santa Clause; I know. I get it. But it has haunted me on a regular basis that I lied to my daughter.

This year, my son informed me he wanted and I-Pad for Christmas (he's 7!)! After informing him, "Christopher, you know we can't afford that." In the most sarcastic voice, he said, "Santa can!"

It broke my heart.

Santa had become more powerful than Jesus.

While Chris and I both tried hard in years past to make sure both kids knew the REAL reason for Christmas, we still failed.

The commercialism and fantasy world won.

It broke my heart.

After sharing with my husband what Christopher said, we made the tough decision of being honest with the kids about Santa.

I know, I know, many of you are reading this and gasping; and that's OK; but we did what we believed was best for our kids and our life situation.

After telling the kids, Kaitlyn looked at me and said, "You lied to me."

It broke my heart.

Confirmation we made the right decision.

Do I have my Santa's out? Absolutely. Do I let the kids watch Christmas movies about Santa? Absolutely.

The difference; I can lay my head down at night and know I did what is right by what the Lord was putting on my heart; that I didn't keep lying over and over to my kids; and the focus continues to go back to the Cross.

Who can argue with that?

Last year we threw out our Christmas tree. No, we are not bah-humbugs! It was old and had several branches broken off! Last year we had no idea we would still be in a rut of unemployment; so we figured we'd get another one.

BUT, this year, the Lord never gave us a peace about getting a new tree. We couldn't justify buying something like that with so many other life expenses that were necessities. So, we used a table top tree we had used in years past for Chris' Star Wars and StarTrek Ornaments.

We placed it on top of our electric fireplace and hung our stockins from it! Doesn't it look GREAT! I just love it!

We all chimed in over the last two days to decorate.

My dancing ballerina!

This is our last Christmas with my Kayla. Here she is posing with her rocking horse ornament from her first Christmas in 1992. Where has time gone?

Preparing to hang the nail on the tree. . . .

The Christmas Nail poem:

This is The Christmas Nail.
It is to be hung on a sturdy branch,
a branch near the trunk,
a branch that will hold such a spike without being noticed by well-wishers
dropping by to admire one's tinseled tree.
The nail is known only to the home that hangs it.
Understood only by the heart that knows its significance.
It is hung with the thought...that the Christmas tree but foreshadows the Christ-tree
which only He could decorate for us,
ornamented with nails as this.

I put out my Christmas Village :)

The animated characters!

And, of course, the nativity!

This is, indeed, The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!

A Thanksgiving To Remember

2011-11-24T20:26:00.001-06:00

Before I left this morning to head to Nothing Lost Outreach, the Lord sent me back into the house to get a pair of boots. I continued to argue with the Lord because I have an order for a size 10 boot for someone that needs to be filled for Sunday; but the Lord insisted.

I asked Him to show me specifically who the shoes were to be for; and that they would say, "I wear a size 10."

We were not having showers, hair cuts or clothing distributed today; but sensed the need to take a few blankets, clothing, shoes and socks . . . . . just in case. My thoughts were that the temps were dropping and "you never know."

But God knew.

A man walked up to me today that attended the first time last Sunday. I figured he was looking for a tent I had told him we'd have for him; but he wasn't. He asked me, "Do you have any shoes?" I looked down, he was wearing sandals with socks. I asked him, "What size do you wear?" (Knowing what he was about to tell me . . . ) "Size 10."

It only took minutes to retrieve the boots from my car.

"Jay, do they fit?" (which was a STUPID question!) "They are a perfect fit. I can't believe it." "Jay, God knew you were going to need these shoes. He had me go back in to the house and get them. That is how special you are."

With that, he simply nodded in appreciation.

Jay needs a tent. I have a big five person tent, but Jay is by himself and needs a small one. He wouldn't take the bigger one because he didn't want to take from someone else that would need the bigger one. They are about $20 at Wal-Mart. If you have one or would like to contribute, please email me at thepadenfamily@gmail.com.

I mentioned to one of the men (Bill) that participate in NLO regularly and that actually goes into the camps and shares the gospel with the homeless, that I brought a few blankets and coats if anyone approached him with a need.

Bill approached me later and asked if I had two blankets and possibly a sleeping bag for a guy he knows had what "stuff" stolen from him. I told him I didn't remember bringing a sleeping bag, but I knew I had blankets.

When I opened the trunk of my car to get the two blankets, there was a blue sleeping bag. I remember putting my hand on it at the house; remember pulling my hand away from it, but have no memory of putting it in the car. When I got home, I asked Chris and he said it was on the box with the duffle bags, so he assumed I wanted it to go with me.

God knew Jay was going to need those size 10 boots; God knew Bill's friend needed a sleeping bag, blanket, a duffle bag, a pair of socks and a flashlight . . . God knew.

I was in awe today that God allowed me to see His hand. He could have met those needs a million different way; yet He allowed me to be a part of it, so witness it. Whew. It's overwhelming.

God knows the numbers of hair on your head. He knows what you are dealing with right now. your grocery list needs and He knows when your power bill is due. He knows when where your next meal is coming from. He knows . . . . your name!

I don't know what your need is; but I know the Lord will provide.

Matthew 6: 25-34, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Servants

2011-11-18T21:55:00.001-06:00

When the Lord put a clothing ministry on my heart; I had no idea all the "wow" moments He would give me.

As clothing items are donated, there are some that need minor repairs; patches, hem pants, etc.

Only one problem.

I can't sew.

Sure, I can put a button on here and there; but anything else; not gonna happen. While it has been my hearts desire for years to learn, it hasn't been until this new season that the desire became a fire.

I took a sewing machine my mom had given me many, many years ago, to a friends house. She worked and worked and worked until finally all the "goo" (and it was nasty "goo") was gone and the machine was working . . . . well, sorta. One of the bobble thing-a-ma-gigs wasn't winding up something (see, I REALLY have no clue!). After further investigation, the piece couldn't be repaired.

While I was disappointed that the machine wasn't going to work, I was still excited to watch and learn.

My friend spent several hours on her only day off working on the machine and then teaching me how to make stitches by hand in order to hem pants and make minor repairs.

While sitting at her dining room table, the Lord showed me just what was really happening.

Nothing Lost Outreach was happening.

This woman, took time from her family to help me, in order that I might help someone else through NLO. She didn't have to go to Ensley Baptist and serve; she didn't have to make bags, she didn't have to donate; she was simply serving and doing in the area she has been called to do.

God wants our obedience, not our sacrifice. :)

With the clothing donations increasing, and my time becoming less and less; God showed me I was going to need help.

If you read a few days back, you know the phobia I have of people coming in my house.

Two days after posting that, I had three different people "pop in." (Yes, God is definitely taking me to new areas of trust, love, and vulnerability (oh I don't like that word . . . )

So, today, a new friend (just met today) and an old friend came together to help me with all the donations. I was able to do Christopher's schooling while they worked and worked! They sorted enough that I will be fill many orders for this Sunday!

Indeed, what He has called us to do, He will equip us to do :)

100 Homeless Bags

2011-11-18T16:30:00.001-06:00

Nothing Lost Outreach has set a goal for 100 bags to be distributed to the homeless on Christmas Day.

Each person/family can take us one step closer to our goal!

Items needed for homeless bags:

*Bag (My family is using a Wal-Mart Reusable Bag).
*Fleece Blanket (they go on sale throughout the Thanksgiving and Christmas Season!)
*1 Roll of T.P.
*Baby Wipes (Dollar Tree has a 3 pack for $1.00)
*Gloves
*Bottle of Water
*Snack Bag (chips, fruit cups with pop top lid, etc)
*Flashlight (Dollar Tree)
*Batteries (Dollar Tree)
*Hand warmer pack (I saw them at Wal-Mart for $1.47 each at the check out lane.)

Please contact me on fb or via email at thepadens@cox.net if you would like to contribute.

Thank you!

Stacey

Something I want to share real quick. Throughout scripture we are told to take care of the poor, the down in out. In Matthew 25:31-46, we are taught the judgement that will come to those that do not clothe, feed, and give drink to those in need. What the Lord is revealing to me day in and day out is that the hungry and thirsty, those in need, are you and me. While society definitely will not agree with me on this, many of the richest people in the world are poorest.

We are all in need of food, clothing, and drink.

Maybe the Lord doesn't want you serving the homeless.

Maybe you have been called to serve single mom's; or single dad's; senior citizens . . . or maybe your family is where God has you serving right now.

Make a difference in someone's life.

We are all, every single one of us, are called to clothe, feed and give drink.

Coffee . . . . It's A Good Thang!

2011-11-16T15:10:00.001-06:00

I spent my morning making my Thanksgiving Day Menu and grocery list before heading out to clean a house today.

While making the list, my husband, who makes my coffee FAITHFULLY; Every. Single. Morning. (that he does NOT drink) announces that I am out of coffee.

I cringe every single time he tells me because I feel so guilty purchasing something that no one else will enjoy.

I finished making my list for Thanksgiving Dinner, without adding the coffee and went to clean the house.

I was actually scheduled to clean this particular house last week, but wasn't feeling 100% and had a crazy schedule, so rescheduled for today. (You'll see the importance of this in a few.)

When I walked in, there was a note next to my check. Next to the note was a bag of coffee.

The note read,

I was so excited that the Lord met a need; and without me even asking!

When I called to thank her, and to explain the events of the morning (making the menu/grocery list); it hit me. . . . . This person, while a dear friend, had no idea I needed coffee. All she knew was God had put it on her heart to give me the coffee. What's even more amazing is that IF I had gone to clean the week before; God probably would have still blessed me with having the coffee, but it would not have been an immediate need!

While leaving the message of gratitude and how she was used to meet a need; the emotions and tears started.

In that moment, God sweetly and gently whispered, "I love you."

THEN the water works REALLY started!

Have you ever had a squalling moment that you just couldn't control?! Where you are so touched by the very Hand of God that you just can't control the tears? Where you realized just HOW special you are to the Father?!

That's what happened to me today.

Over the next two hours I spent time laughing, crying, and rejoicing.

I realized just how much "He loves me." (And I am sure He loves me more than I think He does; but for me, this moment, it's pretty big!)

The word, "love" became my focus as I continued to clean.

I started wondering how many times the word love is mentioned in the Bible.

When I got home, I did a word search. The word love is written in the Bible (based on one search), 697 times in the New International Version.

My favorite love verse is one known by just about anyone, "For God so loved the world (the people) that He gave His only son, that whoever (any one person) believes in Him, will not perish, but have eternal life."

Do you know that God loves you?

God has shown His hands of provisions time and time again over the last 15 months.

He showed it to me again today.

I am just in awe, still.

God cares about the big, the small, the tiny secrets of hearts desires. If it is important to you, it's important to Him.

After all, as He showed me today, He even cares about my coffee!

More Stinkin' Thinkin'!

2011-11-14T18:29:00.001-06:00

Hospitality is NOT my gift. Go out and serve; absolutely. But let someone come into my home . . . . I can feel the lump swelling in my throat just thinking about it.

While my hearts desire is to be hospitable and welcome everyone into my "neatly organized home;" it's just not ever gonna happen.

What makes the anxiety of having someone come into my home worse is going into a home and EVERYTHING is PERFECT, yet they continue to apologize for the mess! It tells me they would be very critical if they ever came into my home; therefore, I don't and never have liked people coming over, especially unannounced. Oh my gosh, heart failure!.

Why do we do that anyway? Apologize for the life God has given us? I wonder if God ever apologized for the leaves on the ground in the Garden of Eden?

I've always been taught and have taught my children, "If you can't do it right, then don't do it at all." I've come to the conclusion though, that "that is just stinkin' thinkin'!"

No wonder my house is ALWAYS a mess and NOTHING is ever complete! I never have time to follow through with that stack of junk mail, unopened bills, coupons, kids school work, speech and occupational therapy for Christopher (and Kaitlyn is starting therapy soon for her sensory as it has heightened into emotional melt downs) and laundry . . . oh my gosh!

Oh my gosh!

I can sit here and justify all the whys of "why nothing ever gets completed" in my home; but none of them measure up when so many others have done it; and have done it with more children than I have AND are working a full time job!

I honestly don't know how they do it.

I go into all this because I am beginning to walk through a new journey. The journey of having people in my home.

God put a burden on my heart to clothe the homeless through Nothing Lost Outreach. He confirmed that burden and then provided. He has provided in such an amazing way, that I need help.

My husband emptied out a room and put three clothes lines from wall to wall so I could start separating the MANY, MANY donations. We have a few shelves, but desperately need more. Because of the Lord providing, we were able to clothe 33 people this past Sunday!

We also brought home ANOTHER car full of donations this past Sunday from another group in Evergreen, AL! It is so amazing to see the Hand of God!

I just can't walk in the room . . . . . again!

My prayer last week was, "Lord, I can't do all this. I was barely maintaining before this, how am I going to do it all. I need your help."

A few days later I was approached about a young lady that wants to help sort and organize.

A few days later, another approached, and another.

Whoa.

Tuesday morning, a woman I have never met, is coming over for me to show her what I've started; to get her insight and schedule her to come once or twice a week for a few hours each time to help me.

So what does that mean to me . . . it means I ate not one but TWO Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Cones today; have snapped every one's head off like a twig and got frustrated with my Kaitlyn for having a melt down at the most inconvenient time!

And . . . . because it was an inconvenient time, I almost blew it.

She was in my arms crying when I began to pray for her. I started out angry and frustrated, thinking, "God, I have this woman coming over to my house tomorrow and EVERYTHING IS A WRECK! I don't have time for this!"

But, God.

As I prayed for "peace and calming" to come over Kaitlyn, peace and calming began to fall upon shoulder. The tension and anxiety slowly slipped away.

This job of motherhood needed to take precedence over trying to impress someone "with how I just hold it together so good!"

The house could wait. The laundry could wait. The pile of dust bunnies could wait. My baby girl needed her mommy.

We sat for two hours.

We are having more and more of these moments of her crying and not knowing why. She doesn't know why; "I just want you, something's not right." she says.

I became thankful Christopher had a good night tonight, and then thankful again, that for the most part, when Kaitlyn has had bad nights, his have been OK.

Regardless, everyone is sleeping now. I have attempted to "pick up" and put things in "stacks" :), swept all the dust bunnies and cat hair up and mopped the floors that haven't been mopped in weeks (no, that is not an exaggeration). If I am going to get over this phobia of "letting people in," I've got to keep it real. Right?!

So, if you are reading this between late Monday night and Tuesday at 10:00; please be praying for me.

Panic sincerely fills my soul when I think of having someone in my home; BUT, God has called me to a mission; and it is a mission that requires me asking for help.

He provided the help, and I have to take that first step in faith that it is gonna be OK.

Now, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Pew Savers

2011-11-13T21:00:00.001-06:00

My husband and I went to an earlier church service than our usual 11:00. We did so because our youngest was singing with the choir at both services.

When I arrived, and went to take a seat. I noticed one entire pew was filled with hymnals (saving the entire row).

It was 8:00 in the morning, so whoever was saving their seats came in to the worship center, marked their spot (like a dog hikes his leg), then went on their way to class.

After the kids finished one last practice of their songs and their comings and goings, I decided to stay there so I would be able to get a video of Kaitlyn.

As the 9:30 crowd came in, there was frustration as the person that apparently "saved their seats," saved the wrong row. The row they MEANT to save was the row that myself, my husband and oldest daughter now sat.

Sour remarks were made. Me being the cool tempered person I am, refrained from making any negatory comments (yes, you should be proud); however, my frustrations grew.

BUT, what REALLY made me angry, was when two obvious guests came to sit down right behind us, couldn't because the ENTIRE ROW WAS SAVED FOR FOUR PEOPLE!

By now my husband is coaxing me, "Stacey, calm down. It's OK." Instead of me doing NOTHING, I should have gotten up, put the hymnals away and invited the guests to sit with us. If I hadn't been so angry, I might have figured that out (see what happens when you get angry; you miss opportunities to be the hand and feet of Jesus!)

My point is, in case my frustrations hasn't explained it, is if we save pews every Sunday, and sit in the EXACT same space EVERY SUNDAY, we will NEVER meet new people!

AND, what is even worse . . . . What does that say to our guests??!!

It says, "You are NOT welcome here."

"Lord may I never be so self-centered and interested in 'just me and my space.' Forgive me for missing the opportunity to welcome our guests. Forgive my anger and frustrations in just remembering the events of the morning. Thank you for loving me in spite of my flaws. Thank you for the people you put in my path that didn't save seats and became friends. Amen."

Christmas Gift Ideas/AVON Inventory Sale

2011-11-09T09:37:00.002-06:00

I have marked down all my naturals products to $1.00. They are mismatched scents and items. The items include shower gels, lotions, sprays, and hand sanitizers.

Skin care marked down to below 75% off (which is WELL below my cost.)

Eye shadows, blue eyeliners, lip sticks and lip glosses marked down to $2.00.

Assorted fragrances are marked down to $5 and $10.00.

Moisture Therapy Intensive Hand Cream ($2.00) have 1.

Moisture Therapy Lotion, $3.00

Foundations . . . too many to list marked to $4.00

Skin So Soft Lotions shower gels are $1.00 and $2.00.

IF you are interested in the inventory items, you can email me, call me or make arrangements to come by and look at what I have.

I have had many ask if I will be doing gift baskets again this year; I can not. I picked up that cost last year and simply can not do it this year. HOWEVER, I do have assorted gift bags. If you see an item or items in the book; I will gladly provide a gift bag (not an AVON one, an actually gift bag) and tissue for $1.00.

Walking in Victory,

Stacey

Let The Healing Begin . . . .

2011-11-04T10:11:00.000-05:00

A friend posted this photo on fb this morning; it has had me reflecting on many "things."

One thing I have learned through the last few years is our (my) riches are NOT what is in the bank; or the car(s) that we drive; the houses we live in; the clothes and shoes (or the brands) we wear; or the certain type phone we JUST HAVE TO HAVE; and God forbid we miss our pedicure appointment . . . .

I'm not saying IF you have these things you (or I) are/am bad, I'm saying these THINGS do not define me; BUT what does define me, is WHOSE I am.

I have struggled with self worth because I couldn't do financially or give in abundance as others can. I found myself asking the Lord, "Lord, what good am I to a church with a measly $4.50 tithe?!"

I have also lived so many years of my life coveting what others have and struggling with jealousy. BUT God has brought me through it; to a place that is pretty dang awesome. "Getting it" is an honor; to know the Lord took the time (and AGAIN . . . it's been years!) to bring me through heart ache, pain, disappointment, anger, jealousy an envy . . . . to be "OK."

For several years the Lord kept giving me the scripture found in Acts 3:6; and two weeks ago, He hounded it on me so hard that"I FINALLY got it!"

It reads, "But Peter said, "I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene-- walk!"

What God has given me is more than silver and gold (BUT, obedience comes with every level of income . . . . the Bible doesn't say, "IF you make less than this amount, then you don't have to give . . . nope; not in there!).

For me, though, my faith has also become a faith that comes with "picking up your (my) mat and walk (in service)!

John 5:8 says, Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk."   If the lame man had never picked up his mat, and walked, He would have never known Jesus had healed him!

I am truly a blessed woman.

God is moving in our family. It's scary (if I am to be real) of the unknown; but it is awe-inspiring to see it being revealed.

The Lord gave me a visual, using MY CAT this past week! He's been angry for two years at us for bringing in another cat. (This is the one that was so sick we thought he was dying.) He has had nothing to do with ANY of us for literally two years. If we picked him up, he would growl, claw and hiss to get away from us. He attacked the other cats as well. He was just an out-right bully. However, out of the clear blue, three days ago, he started jumping in my lap and loving on me. We were ALL shocked! I said to him, "It's about time bandit. You've had this entire house in an uproar for two years cause you got mad."

The Lord then spoke to my heart and said, "It's about time, Stacey, you've been angry and refusing to forgive for going on THREE years now. You've had this entire house in an uproar because you refuse to forgive."

Maybe I need to say that again, "It's about time, Stacey, you've been angry and refusing to forgive for going on THREE years now. You've had this entire house in an uproar because you refuse to forgive."

How could I argue with that. I couldn't. No more trying to justify and pass blame, no more regrets, no more praying the Lord would "get me out of this,"

No more.

It's time.

The next morning, as the cat the Lord used to speak words of life to me jumped in my lap, the Lord told me to pray for my marriage. Period. Pray for your marriage. Don't ask for a way out, don't be angry, stop casting blame, just pray.

In that moment, I took a deep breath and wrote, "Lord I pray for my marriage."

I didn't know what else to pray, so left it at that.

As I reflected through the last few months of journaling, the Lord showed me how my prayer/journaling time is always for others, for other ministries, families or my kids; but never for my husband or our marriage, never for my heart to heal and begin to move on. In fact, it was more often that my prayers for our marriage was in bitterness and anger.

In just the last few days, God has begun a work. "Lord heal my marriage and heal my heart, and let it be OK," has become a daily prayer of mine.

Folks, I couldn't do it. In fact, I refused to do it. I wasn't going to budge and that was it. I tried to justify my anger by saying, "I didn't do anything wrong." As I type this my heart is filled with tears of awe-ness, that while I didn't know how to forgive; and honestly didn't want it, God did (and does) want me to; and He used a mean, ole' ornery cat to do it. While I have many "things" to work through, it is a process; and I know with Him in charge of the process, everything is going to be OK.

Well, I didn't intend on getting into all that today. I knew the Lord was prompting me to write about it.  In my prayer time (just this morning), I wrote, "Lord, when You are ready for me to share, give me the words." I guess He was ready for me to share cause none of THAT had anything to do with what the image above did to my heart!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart for months now about some changes that are coming. I don't think He would have taken us to the next phase of service if my heart wasn't right.

With that, I ask you to please continue to pray for our family and the changes that are coming.

Continuing to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Psalm 147:3, "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds."

My Kaitlyn

2011-10-31T17:52:00.001-05:00

Would you please be praying for my Kaitlyn?

She has been telling me for a couple of weeks that she just doesn't feel good.

She complains of her tummy hurting, her mouth hurting and her hands and feet are still itching and peeling (her feet are not bad; but her hands are really bad). She has eczema on her hands and feet. Her feet are not that bad, but her hand are. I'm attaching a picture of what her hands look like (this is NOT her hand; but her hands are in the same condition). They itch really bad and hurt.

She is crying a lot; and just not herself.

We try very hard to make sure we spend one on one time with her as Christopher does monopolize a lot of our time; but we just can't figure this out.

Thank you for praying.

Stacey

New Blog To Check Out

2011-10-31T09:50:00.002-05:00

I've started a new blog in order to keep up with all the lives being changed through Nothing Lost Outreach. We are challenged every week by various pastors; their challenges will be posted, new decisions for Christ, re-dedications, and Baptisms. Ministry needs will also be posted on that page.

Please take a minute and check out a poem one our guests wrote. I guarantee it will touch your heart.

Nothing Lost Outreach

A Different Kind of Footprints in the Sand . . . .

2011-10-29T23:18:00.000-05:00

When I saw the kids foot prints, I thought of my walk with the Lord. While Christopher and Kayla were walking and talking, they had drifted apart; one of them took their focus off of their togetherness, someone's own agenda came in to play. This particularly spoke to me in regards to my weight loss struggles. ........ love those visuals!

Watching Life Unfold

2011-10-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

I left this morning in a foul mood.

The kids are singing in "big church" tomorrow night. The only type pants Christopher wears are pants with elastic in them. I hadn't been able to find ANY pants with elastic except for jogging suits; so that is what his wardrobe consists of; and shorts (with elastic) of course. Kaitlyn's shoes are stained and wearing thin and with her sensory problems increasing; finding shoes and socks she can wear without an emotional break down is a miracle! She's needed shoes desperately but I was hoping to stretch them out till Christmas . . . no such luck.

After running into Target and finding no pants or shoes in our price range; we made the dreaded run to Wal-Mart. My frustration was mounting and the "Why's" and "Woe is me's" began to fill my mind. Discontentment set it.

But . . . . God.

It was then, as I was driving west on Nine Mile Road, heading to Wal-Mart on Hwy 29 that I thought, "Why am I going to Wal-Mart on Hwy 29? I always go to the Wal-Mart on Creighton?" Instantly and out of the blue, the Lord reminded me of my prayer in my journal this morning. It read, "Lord, please let me see Paula today. It's cold, and you told me to give her (a particular coat that had been donated to Nothing Lost Outreach through a friend) that coat. Please let me see her. Please."

I told Kayla (she was with me) about it and said, "Kayla, I have to find her today. I don't know where she is and I've only seen her outside of NLO one time. Lord, please let me see her."

As you can imagine, my heart leapt with joy as I pulled into the turning lane on Nine Mile Road to turn left on Old Palafox as the thin, frail woman I know as Paula, began walking towards my car wearing only a thin coat with a beanie hat.

Once again, God had nailed it. He had Paula on my heart this morning, strong enough to journal about it; then used my running around (in the flesh) to bring me back to the Cross . . . to show His mighty hand! He provided for Paula, through a friend that gave in obedience. Hallelujah!

God showed me I was getting all worked up about something that doesn't matter. ". . . . . . stop trying to be what everyone else wants you to be. Those children are singing to Me and they could care less what they are wearing; so you shouldn't either."

I am reminded of my reading this morning in Sarah Young's, "Jesus Calling" devotional. It reads:

LINGER IN MY PRESENCE A WHILE. Rein in your impulses to plunge into the day's activities. Beginning your day along with Me is essential preparation for success. A great athlete takes time to prepare himself mentally for the feat ahead of him before he moves a muscle. Similarly, your time of being still in My Presence equips you for the day ahead of you. Only I know what will happen to you this day. I have arranged the events you will encounter as you go along your way. If you are not adequately equipped for the journey, you will grow weary and lose heart. Relax with Me while I ready you for action.

Ephesians 2:30, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Hebrews 12:3, "Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Lord forgive me of my jealous heart and "do right" attitude. Thank you for showing yourself to me today; thank you for my friend that was obedient to what YOU put on her heart in order to provide for Paula. Thank you for allowing me to be on the sidelines and watch it all unfold. Lord, I thank you for opening my eyes and bringing me back to the cross. I love you, Lord. I trust you. Amen.

Paula told me she'd definitely be at NLO tomorrow because it is her birthday (Sunday, October 30th). We will be celebrating at NLO with a birthday cake (no, she has no clue). I wonder how long it has been since her birthday was celebrated? She will be 48. Please pray for Paula today.

Psalm 118:24, "This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."

Friday's Weigh In . . . Blah, Blah, Blah . . . .

2011-10-28T19:47:00.000-05:00

I have so struggled with my eating since my surgery. It's been just over two months and I just can't get my focus back!

I thought I had only lost half a pound, but when I put my weight in on myfitnesspal.com; it showed one pound loss. I don't know how because I sure haven't tried. It's been horrible.

My heart just isn't in it. Still doing my quiet time, still doing my scripture references; so what has changed? Not sure exactly. Laziness has kicked in I guess, as I am not journaling my food entries anymore.

We implemented a schedule in our home this week.

The Lord had been putting it on my heart; then it was confirmed through Mom2Mom on Sunday night. (He has also put it on my heart to plan a monthly menu. I will be working on that next!)

My Monday morning prayer time was mostly praying and asking God to give me a schedule for the kids. Immediately He gave it to me. I am still in awe. With all the appointments we have for speech and therapy for Christopher; getting Chris and Kayla to PSC and Kaitlyn to school, we had to have SOME flexibility; so I simply explained, "this is the schedule God has given me." It is NOT written in stone; but is a guide. (If I told Christopher it was to be followed exactly "like this," he would have melt down after melt down from changes.)

We have been waking him up at 6:15 every morning when we get Kaitlyn up. My mornings have started at 5 a.m. (and the occasional 5:15 when I JUST. CAN'T. GET. OUT. OF. THE. BED!) so I can have my time with the Lord.

Since day one of implementing the schedule, Christopher has been asleep BEFORE 8:00! We have turned the television off by 7 P.M. and withing 30 to 45 minutes he (and Kaitlyn) are out. It has been amazing. Still having troubles with the melt downs and aggression; but not as bad as it has been. Christopher LOVES to watch the cooking channel. We have the most basic of basic cable; but still get the Food Network! I told him Friday night's would be the night's he can watch cooking. He is glad; but emotional (he is very tired).

Over the last few weeks I have sensed the Lord is preparing us for a change. I would appreciate your prayers as we seek Him to see what He has in store for our family. And please pray I can get my cravings under control!

Trusting in Him as He grows my faith,

Stacey

Immediate Needs For Nothing Lost Outreach

2011-10-27T09:46:00.000-05:00

I have been asked by many people over the last few weeks what needs there are at Nothing Lost Outreach. This is a lot of information; BUT, many have asked for it.

View this video if you are wondering what Nothing Lost Outreach is all about.

Please print this off, put it on your refrigerator or in your Bible. If you aren’t able (or if God hasn’t put this ministry on your heart to provide), then please pray for NLO. Lives are being touched and changed for eternity. I have “awe-bumps” just thinking about it!

The following are several lists of needs; from weekly, special needs, food items, paper good items . . .etc.

The following are the items used each week in the toiletry kits:
1) Wet wipes or soap
2) Toothbrush
3) Toothpaste
4) Q-tips
5) Deodorant
6) Travel size OR large shampoos & body washes
7) Razors
8) Shaving cream
9) Quart size plastic bags

Special needs (given upon request by our NLO guests):
1) Insect repellant
2) Chap stick
3) Sunscreen
4) Feminine hygiene products (pads, liners, etc.)
5) Socks
6) Underwear
7) Mouthwash
8)Toilet paper
9) Athlete’s foot spray
10) Antibiotic ointment
11) Band-aids

Items needed for Winter:
1) Blankets
2) Coats
3) Tarps
4) Tents
5) Hats
6) Gloves

Other items needed (for the shower trailer):
1) Towels (used or new)
2) Wash cloths (used or new)
3) Laundry detergent

Meals:
Food Donations
Heavy Divided Paper Plates
12 oz paper cups
Utensil Packets
Tea
Sugar
Coffee
Little Debbie Snack Cakes
Individuals Fruit Cups (Cans)
Brown Paper Bags for their 2nd meal
Sandwich Bags

Clothing Donations:ALL SIZES . . . . CHILDREN’S AND UP!
Socks
NEW Underwear for children and up!

The temps are beginning to drop. Every Sunday, our guests are putting in orders for sweat shirts and sweat pants and jackets.

ALSO, we will be serving on Thanksgiving Day! The meal will be served at 11:00. We need servers! Please let me know if you are going to help as we need to be able to plan!

God might not be calling you to come pray with our guests, or even serve; but maybe He is calling you to donate or maybe, He is calling you to the biggest honor of all . . . . to intercede in prayer!

I challenge you to be obedient in the areas in which you have been called (regardless of the ministry or outreach).

When you provide, you become the hands and feet of Jesus!

Stacey

Sometimes, It Just Stinks!

2011-10-25T19:38:00.001-05:00

We have a sick cat.

Even on medications he isn't better.

Tough decisions to make; and while this seems selfish, I wish he would just die in his sleep so we don't have to do it.

Our hearts are breaking, but we can't justify spending more money on him when utilities are past due.

There are days I think I have this thing called "contentment" down; and then there are days like today that anger and hurt dwells within the deepest part of my belly, that one more thing is being taken away.

Please pray for the kids in preparation of what is to come.

Tough days ahead.

My Jesus

2011-10-24T22:10:00.001-05:00

Heard this song for the first time today and have played it three or four times already.

Todd Agnew's voice is gripping. It just draws one in and ignites a fire.

Please take a few and listen to this powerful, powerful song.

My Jesus, Todd Agnew

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made . . . .

2011-10-24T11:14:00.000-05:00

While Escambia County has no school today; "The School of Hard Knocks" (Christopher's homeschooling) does.

Christopher hates to have to write or repeat work that he has already done (and if he already knows the work, forget it).

While trying to be creative this morning (as I struggle with thinking outside the box) and "change things up" for him, I said, "Christopher, you don't have to write the same word back to back, make one list and then another."

To that suggestion, his eye balls got huge, his finger goes in the air, and he says. . . . . .

"I HAVE AN IDEA!

Give me another pencil!"

(Yes, he writes with both his hands!) He wanted to write the list once, with both hands so he gets both writings done quicker!

How he comes up with these things is beyond me. BUT what I do know is my God made him so special; and with a brain that thinks "outside the box."

Christopher's new psychiatrist has diagnosed him with a form of "brain damage." While I and others do not agree with this diagnosis; it is what it is.

When Christopher was 3 years old and started occupational therapy, his therapist noticed that Christopher had a "mid-line" problem. What that means is, he would start writing with his left hand, reach the middle of page, switch to his right hand and continue writing with his right hand to finish to line of work.

Because of this, an MRI was done in 2009. In the MRI, it was found that the Corpus Callosum part of the brain (the part of the brain that connects the right and left brain functions), was under developed.

We were told that people with this under-development would never play sports. Well, if you know me or my son, then you know that Christopher is a VERY active little boy that plays EVERY sport we can get him in! He plays soccer, basketball, and t-ball!

What man says is impossible, God makes possible!

The Bible tells me that I, (all of us) am (are) fearfully and wonderfully made.

In fact, the scriptures say that "I am to praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" Psalm 139:14

When I question Him, and criticize Him for how He made me, or question why He made Christopher with so many problems; I insult my Father in Heaven. I never realized that before today.

Precious time and thought went in to how He made me. How He made Christopher. How He made each of us. Who am I to argue with that?

"Father forgive me when I complain of how you made me, nit-picking about parts and not thankful for how you designed me. Use me for your glory. May I never be ungrateful or complain again. I love you, Lord. I praise you. I trust you and I trust your plan. So be it, Jesus. Amen!"

Basking in His goodness,

Stacey

Struggling with Anger

2011-10-22T14:41:00.001-05:00

We had very little traffic today; thankful for what we did have; but struggling with anger.

Someone changed the price tag on something; I knew it was wrong when he brought the item to pay for it; I looked around to see if I could find the ticket he swapped it out with, but I couldn't find it and I couldn't prove it.

Hours later, I found the price tag he had swapped.

We were having this yard sale to help with living expenses and to keep us from NOT having to sell our home. A friend was here and prayed with me about this; but I have to be honest; I am ticked.

It was only a dollar difference; (I know, I know) but I just can't get over it.

Why steal?

Why lie?

WHY take from someone who is already struggling to just get by?

I don't get it.

I am angry about it.

I'm frustrated we only made $60 (which I know is more than we had) today.

I'm frustrated what we DID make was spent on a VET bill for a CAT that is busting out the screens of my house to get out!

I guess I am just having an unthankful, ungrateful kind of day.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

I know the Lord has a plan. I know He is in control of all things. I know people have free will and I know I failed this test miserably of turning the other cheek.

I try to find good in all things but OBVIOUSLY I am struggling with this today . . as I am typing this the Lord is telling me to be thankful. So I am going to make a list . . . .

~I am thankful for my friends that have contributed for the yard sale so graciously to help us. I have felt an abundance of love while going through the last few weeks.

~I am thankful for a friend that gave our family a Wii Game System! My children played for hours on it last night and as I type this Chris is setting it up and they are making us all have characters for the Wii Fit.

~I'm thankful I have pets that I have to take to the vet. While we can't afford them; God has provided in meeting the needs of feeding them and taking care of vet bills. Pets are sometimes the only comfort we can use to bring Christopher out of a melt down. Pets love us unconditionally (even cats . . . . for the most part).

~I'm thankful I have SO MUCH STUFF LEFT I get to have a SECOND yard sale!!!

~I'm thankful the Lord met the needs for the vet bill we didn't see coming.

~I'm thankful for a friend that stopped by and was here to pray for me while I was fuming.

~I'm thankful God loves me.

~I'm thankful for the new board games a friend gave us for the kids to play.

~I'm am thankful, that when I am unlovable, He loves me anyway.

~I'm thankful that the Lord has provided above and beyond for all our needs and even our wants.

I guess I really shouldn't complain. Life could always be worse!

:)

Garage Sale, Pensacola, FL

2011-10-20T16:58:00.000-05:00

If you live in the Pensacola area, we are having a garage sale on Friday, October 21st (8 a.m. to noon) and Saturday, October 22nd (7 a.m. to noon).

MOST clothing is .10 an item (I know, right!?!) Sizes range from women's plus size; boys size 6, 7, and 8; girls size 6, 7, and 8; and Juniors assorted sizes.

Items for sale:

~29 gallon aquarium, filter AND stand (along with many misc items)

~wooden roll top desk ($40.00)

~entertainment center ($20.00)

~manual elliptical machine ($20.00)

~books (hard back, $1.00 and soft back .50)

~CD's ($1.00)

~DVD's ($1.00)

~VHS Tapes (.50)

~COMIC BOOKS (you'll have to talk to my husband about these!)

~Stuffed animals

~AVON products starting at $1.00

And more!

Our address is 2302 Lacey Circle.

Thanks!

Stacey

Surreal

2011-10-19T00:34:00.000-05:00

It's really been an odd week; a good week, a bad week (I am referring to my Friday food week),and an odd week. Kinda surreal; yet solemn. Like I'm disconnected and without emotion; but everything is fine . . . so why?

I don't know. What I do know is I have eaten, gorged, eaten, gorged, celebrated (by eating) . . need I go on? NOT been a good week on discipline and focus.

Maybe it is just exhaustion from sharing my testimony at Nothing Lost Outreach on Sunday and knowing full well the spiritual battle that took place that day. It was amazing but freaky . . . but so cool to see the Hand of God! During the middle of my testimony, one of the men started shouting and causing a distraction. There was noone around him, so I don't know what happened . . . yes, I do. It was satan. He was trying to get my gander! BUT IT DIDN'T WORK! As the man was being escorted out, I looked at a friend that was there, we both whispered, "it's ok" to each other simultaneously. Moments later the room broke out in applause and we glorified God! Whew! Covered in awe-bumps right now!

Maybe it is the joy of seeing my daughter happy and in a good, solid relationship . . . and now engaged! ENGAGED! I've been praying for her spouse since she was twelve years old when I learned the importance of praying for our children. My prayer was that God would bring the best the best that He had for her. He did good. Her FIANCE' is currently serving in the United States Marine Corps. He is being stationed to California. Please pray for him. Pray for Kayla too. Schooling is so important; but with her heart torn in the separation; she is just having a tough time.

Maybe it was the news that Christopher's psychiatrist has diagnosed him with encephalopathy with mood disorder and while he does have Asperger's, OCD/Sensory, Anxiety Disorders, based on the DSM manual, if a person/child has a diagnosis of encephalopathy, then it takes precedence over all other diagnosis'. How does this affect Christopher, I have no clue. The psychiatrist described it at a form of brain damage. How did he get it? Have no clue. The thought is it's a birth defect, maybe heredity, who knows. It would explain; however, why the medications we have tried and changed over and over don't work for long, or at all. But,what I do know, as I have said before, is I don't know God's plan, but I trust it. He created Christopher, and as much as I love him, He loves him even more.

Maybe it is the fact my youngest daughter is so nervous she chews on her hands and has pulled all the skin off her hands.

Maybe it's the fact that God showed Himself faithful yet again not only giving me confirmation in an area, BUT, He also provided!

Let me explain in that He may be glorified!

After receiving the diagnosis for Christopher, and being told there is no treatment; I began praying. I began praying that if God wanted me to have Christopher seen an alternative medicine specialist, that He would confirm it.. I have been praying about a person I heard about named Dr. Jimmie Hill in Pace, FL. He does Iridology. I know what you are thinking; but here is the deal. Nothing else is really working. So why not? What else do we have to lose? (It has also worked out to have Christopher seen by a friend that do biofeedback studies of the brain; not based on the blood pressure and breathing, but reading the brain! That is another story . . . so I'll move on.) Well, what has kept me from pursuing it is money. Alternative Medicine Specialist are not covered by insurance. Now follow me here . . . Out of the blue, I received an email from a friend that new about Christopher's change in diagnosis and issues. She told how her daughter had been ill and the doctor's couldn't figure out what was going on, so she went to see "Dr. Hill"in Pace to have her daughter's eyes read! She was my confirmation to take Christopher! BUT! Here is the even COOLER thing! That same morning, before even getting the email about Dr. Hill from a friend; I received a notification that we had made a mistake on our FAFSA Pell Grant paperwork for Chris and Kayla's schooling. Even though their school tuition was covered, and because of our unfortunate poverty level, the extra money was put in to our spending account. No kidding! Go ahead, SHOUT AND REJOICE! Guess what else!?! (YES; there is MORE!) It is enough to pay the mortgage of the house through Christmas (keeping us in our home through the holiday's ~ hello! What a blessing THAT is!), pay the property taxes that will be due AND pay for a visit to see Dr. Hill! Can you say "ONLY GOD CAN GET THE GLORY!" I even hesitated in sharing this because it's one of those, "what if something breaks and we have to spend that money to fix something; but you know what I know; "My God will supply ALL our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus!" Philippians 4:19.

I am just in awe.

It's surreal.

Its majestic.

All I can do is sigh and bask in His faithfulness.

Glorifying Him . . . . . because I have not walked in victory over my eating :(

Stacey

He Knows My Name . . .

2011-10-15T12:11:00.002-05:00

First of all, I have taken off the music player on my blog. I post too much music on here to have it playing; so it's off.

Have had a strange week . . struggled with anger, jealously, envy, anger (yes, that is on here twice for a reason), bad attitude . . fear, anxiety . . . . . its all been here.

Through it all, what keeps coming to my mind and the only thing giving comfort to my heart is knowing, "He Knows My Name."

He knows every hair on my head (Luke 12:7).

He knew me before the womb (Psalm 139).

He knows my thoughts before I even speak them (Psalm 139).

He knows . . . it all!

I've been praying all week and preparing for sharing my testimony on Sunday at Nothing Lost Outreach. While my heart seems to be at peace, my mind is a fog. Scriptures are racing and my thoughts are jumping from one to another . . .

My prayer, as well as many others for me this week, have been that I would speak only the words the Lord would have me to speak and that He alone would be glorified!

I have only lost one pound the last two weigh ins. Really struggling with commitment. While even one pound loss in nothing gained, it just seems like it should be more. I have incorporated exercising more; not the six days a week like my doctor would like, but working up towards that. I was able to put on my grandmother's wedding band that she gave to Chris to propose with. I haven't been able to wear it in two years. It is still tighter than I like my rings to be, but getting close, and that excites me! Just a few more pounds and I'll be at the halfway mark!

On a side note, I sure am missing my Kayla. She is visiting her boyfriend's family in Georgia this weekend. Please pray for her. She will be home on Monday and then has class Monday night. I know she is 19; but she is still my baby (I know, I'm a sap). She is struggling with College Chemistry right now and College Algebra. She has to have majors in both of these fields if she wants to major in Meteorology.

Christopher has had a horrible cough and green for one week now. When Christopher doesn't feel good, it makes everything else worse; his emotions, the melt downs, the anger . . . . just exhausting. BUT, as a sweet friend reminded me, God chose us to raise this special, special young boy! I can't wait to see what God does through his life!

Kaitlyn has been chewing the skin off the tips of her fingers and thumbs. The speculation is the Ritalin she was started on for the ADHD has increased her anxiety and heightened her sensory issues; which would explain the fight we are having with tags, clothing, shoes and socks again. She is constantly digging on her finger nails and toe nails as well. She stays nervous, not knowing when Christopher will react next. Breaks my heart.

Thanks for stopping by today. I have to get off here so I can finish my scripture references.

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Psalm 139:13

October 13, 2011

2011-10-13T20:55:00.000-05:00

Today has been a good day.

We got to meet Kayla's boyfriend.

My dad found out yesterday he would be able to come for lunch today, but not for a late dinner; so we kept it a secret and she got the surprise of her life. Dad parked two doors down so she wouldn't see his Suburban. What made it even more special was my brother sent me a text, literally thirty minutes before Kayla got home, saying he was coming!

Having my brother and sister here, with my dad just made my day!

I was really surprised it came together like it did! The least amount of planning and WOW!

Kayla was sooo surprised! She came in, started down the hallway to her room; then dropped her bags and came back with the BIGGEST grin! (I know, the pictures are very blurry, but she was moving so fast I just couldn't do anything about it! BUT the look on her face when she saw her Pappow was PRICELESS!

My baby girl :)

She loves her Pappow!

Pappow with Christopher and Kaitlyn

Michelle adores her big brother ;)

"Get your education, Kayla . . . Listen to an old man whose been there and done that!" (lol; just kidding on the "old man" part, dad!

Can you see the look on her face and tell me what she's thinking?! Hmmmmmm.

I laughed at this picture . . . "The Stand-off!"

Christopher, "Now that's my sister in there . . . "

Jacob, "Yeah, and that's my girlfriend in there . . . "

Pappow with his grand kids:)

Kayla with Jacob

We also went to eat at LaHacienda for dinner, in order for the rest of the family to meet Jacob. I do have pictures from there, but will add those later. I am having to add each picture one at a time and my computer keeps freezing.

Please pray for Jacob and Kayla as they drive to his home to meet his folks tomorrow.

While today has been very nice and we have enjoyed Jacob's company; my mind has shifted over and over to the date.

October 13, 2011.

Today, is my step-brother, Jack D. Crabtree's birthday. While he is no longer my "step-brother," he is still a valued part of my heart. I haven't had any contact from him in 27 years. Just remembering brings tears to my eyes.

The last time my dad (Major John Bruntlett, USMC, Weapons Battalion) saw Jack, was when he was in boot camp at Paris Island. Jack was in week eight or nine of training when his unit started weapons training. When dad did get a chance to speak, Jack's response (and any body that has been in boot camp will understand this) was "SIR, YES SIR!" or "SIR, NO SIR!" No communication further than that. Dad would never interfere with the training of a Marine.

I think of Jack often, as does dad.

Happy Birthday, Jack! I pray your day is blessed and touched by the hands of God.

Stacey

Remake America Casting

2011-10-12T22:10:00.002-05:00

Three years ago, before we really new what was going on with Christopher, we applied for SuperNanny.

Last week I received an email that they were recasting for the show using a new nanny.

Then, today, I received this email:

From the Producers of NBC's hit show The Biggest Loser: We are looking for people from across the country struggling with current issues so many Americans are facing -- unemployment, uninsured, losing a house, military deployment, or feeling the squeeze financially, etc. This show will help people solve these issues via a team of experts and community support systems. If you or someone you know is intersted in learning more, please apply only here: http://www.remakeamericacasting.com/.

Good luck!

Stacey

Nothing Lost Outreach Video

2011-10-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago I blogged about a ministry that gives hope to the homeless. The name of the ministry is called Nothing Lost Outreach.

While words on paper may be fine, seeing it on video will send you a shoutin'!

Please take a few minutes and watch this clip. You will need to scroll down and mute the music player! Nothing Lost Outreach

The woman interviewed at the end of the piece came to know Jesus through NLO. She told me, "I would never go into a church if not for NLO."

I remember the first time I ever held the hand of a homeless man. As tears ran down his face, we prayed for restoration of his family that he hadn't seen or spoken to in two years.

The most glorious sound I've ever heard is during worship service, when the voices of the men and women in the room rise above the instruments!

The men and women at NLO are not perfect. They are homeless or in extreme poverty. They are being introduced to Jesus every Sunday and being accepted where they are. Many come drunk or high; but the scriptures tell us that His word will not return void! Amen! Amen!

Please bring this ministry before the Father as He brings it to your mind. IF you feel led to serve, please come! IF you feel led to give, please give. God will honor your obedience and bless the fruits of your labor and/or offering.

Turning 40 And Fat Cells

2011-10-09T23:29:00.000-05:00

I became curious during this weight loss journey of mine and started doing a little research. Because the explanation of fat cells and their terminology was a little; well, OK; a lot, out of my educational/understanding range, I had to have someone educated in the field explain it to me, that could then explain it on my level.

In simple terms, she told me that we are actually born with the number of fat cells we will have in our lifetime. She then went on to tell me that what we feed our bodies determinies if those fat cells grow or not. Hmmm. Simple enough, right?!

We truly are what we eat!

As I was typing I thought of the Biblical aspects of that as well. Our Pastor puts it best, "Garbage in, garbage out." My spiritual heart will only grow when it is fed. One feeds the spiritual heart by spending time in the word, surrounding oneself with men and women that love the Lord and will encourage and challenge us.

Something I just thought of that makes me smile is the Grinch that Stole Christmas. Let me explain.

During the first few years of my sobriety, the Lord worked on many of my hurts; some, we are still working on.

One of the first Most Excellent Way meetings I attended was on the topic of "Forgiveness." I became so upset that "I had to forgive" this woman or I wouldn't be forgiven! I said, "I would rather die and go to hell that to forgive her for what she did." Obviously, I had no clue what I was really saying; but, at the time; I meant it (I did not know the Lord at this time).

This is what my heart looked like . . . .

Then, a sweet, dear, dear lady approched me after that meeting and told me she would be praying for me. Her name was Cora. It's been 13 years and I can still see the hurt and pain in her eyes as she spoke to me. The following week she approached me with pages of scriptures and handwritten prayers she had been praying over me. The prayers of that precious woman began the healing process of my heart.

Shortly after, the Lord gave me a scripture that would show me exactly what He can do.

The Bible says, in Ezekiel 36:26, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

THAT is what He did for me!! I had begun feeding my spiritual soul by getting in The Word, was growing as a young Christian and surrounding myself with people that would grow and challenge me!

He took a cold, hard heart out, and gave me one of flesh . . . a new heart!

My heart had grown; MORE than three sizes!

While only God can perform miracles and heal the heart; we, as believers in Christ, must do our part, to study; pray and be willing to ask God to do the unthinkable, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." (Psalm 139:23)

I'm not sure where all that came from and obviously there were some rabits chased, cause all I wanted to do was post some before weight loss and turning 40 pictures! The point that is on my heart is "Good in, Good out; Bad in, Bad out." That goes for the physical as well as the spiritual. I don't know why I couldn't have said it that short to begin with!

The following picture was taken on May 23, 2011.

This picture was taken today, October 9, 2011 after losing 51 pounds! My goal was to lose 40 by the time I turned 40 (October 7th). God shined favor on me to do this. My next goal was 20 more pounds to lose before the end of the year. I have 9 more to go to reach that; and will then be just over half-way through this journey.

It's strange; I really had no idea the difference. I had to purchase new hose to wear! Last week when I got home from church they had fallen all the way down! OH! And my feet are shrinking! MY FEET! I was actually able to get my foot into an 8 1/2 shoe! Where does it all go? I still don't get it? I guess I don't have to get it and don't really care as long as it keeps coming off.

Two days ago I started my 30 minute exercise program. My doctor wants me doing cardio for 30 minutes a day, six days a week. He believes the reason for the continued headaches is Fibromyalgia related. The best way to deal with Fibromyalgia is to have ones weight under control and exercise; so I'm doing what I gotta do!

Thanks for praying for me on this journey.

Please keep Christopher in your prayers. Will update soon on him.

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Community Public Safety Day

2011-10-05T15:57:00.000-05:00

The Pensacola FireDepartment in conjunction with Escambia County FireRescue is planning a Community Public Safety Day October 8^th from 10:00am-2:00pm at Pensacola StateCollege main campus.

The goal is toshowcase the equipment and services provided by all the public safety agencies inthe area.

The agencies to be representedinclude: PFD, PPD, ECFR, ECSO,ECEMS, ECEOC, SFM, Div. of Forestry, FWC,Midway Fire, Navy Fire, Life Flight, Red Cross and more.

This is notfor profit and there is no admission fee.

This is a way for parents to see what their tax dollars purchase and forthe kids to have fun.

Some of theactivities planned are:

Demonstrations

Livefirefighting

Vehicle extrication

Patient care

Aerial apparatus operation

Special Ops repelling

Caninesearches

HelicopterOps

Information

Bike safety tips

Finger Printing

Car seat installation

Fun

SafeHouse fire drills

Bucket brigade game

Small fire hose game

Burgers and Hotdogs sold with allproceeds going to a local charity.

I Don't Have To Be!

2011-10-03T17:17:00.000-05:00

My kids have an amazing pediatrician. God did good when He put her in our path. She has been taking care of my children's medical needs since they were two weeks old. When the babies were born, we then started taking Kayla there as well.

She has become a trusted friend and confidant in regards to my children and counseled me in many areas of parenting, and just been an overall encourager to me.

I say all that because of a song she posted on my facebook wall months and months ago (see . . . . she is much more than a doctor) while dealing with the struggles of raising a child with Aspergers.

Since the first time I heard the song, I have loved it. What's amazing is hearing the song right when I need it most!

I cried while listening to the words . . . the same words I have uttered over and over to the Lord, "I'm not strong enough for this, Lord. I can't do this . . . " Please scroll down and mute my music player to hear this song. I pray you will make it your hearts prayer unto the Lord.

As you will hear through the words of this song (and as scripture tells us), we don't have to be . . . "Strong Enough" for any of life's challenge . . . .

Not sure what it is you are experiencing right now, but what I do know, is He is strong enough!

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Friday's Weigh In . . . 18 Weeks & 4 Days

2011-09-30T20:57:00.000-05:00

Yes, I counted them! In just over four months, my life has changed.
I remember day one, May 23, 2011. I dreaded making a change in my eating lifestyle, sorta like a child being dragged in from play to take a bath!

I was angry that I couldn't have sweets and angry that God made me to be prone to being fat. I was angry that sweet sister Suzie was a bean pole and could eat WHATEVER she wanted and NEVER gain an ounce and I was just PURE fat. Just looking at the Gooey Butter Cake added 15 pounds to me! And WHY would God make me such a good cook and NOT let me be able to enjoy the meals?! Does that make sense to you?! Of course not!

I thought it would take FOREVER to see any changes in my physical appearance. I wanted the change IMMEDIATELY!

I didn't want to work for it.

I wanted that instant gratification without the hard work!

But it doesn't work like that, does it?

The truth is, if I didn't have to work for it, I would never succeed. If the weight was falling off without any change in my eating (and cooking) habits, then I wouldn't be depending on the Lord in this particular area of my life.

After weighing in today, I lost two more pounds at a total of 50 pounds.

I am 7.5 pounds away from my half way mark and 10 more pounds away from my end of the year goal!

Now, since my surgery, I have not been exercising like I am supposed to AND I have only journaled my food items one day on www.myfitnesspal.com. I know, right!

I must get back on track to continue to succeed at surrendering completely in this area of my life!

Until next time . . . .

Continuing, to Walk in Victory!

Stacey

Christopher, My Brother . . . . .

2011-09-28T18:49:00.001-05:00

For two years Christopher has been asking questions about Jesus.

With more and more questions and asking to be baptized, I made arrangements to meet with Jon Dubois, Minister of Pastoral Ministries at Olive Baptist Church.

On September 23, 2011, my son, with the guidance of "Pastor Jon," asked Jesus into his heart!

Now, I have to confess; I was worried. (I know, right . . . . I worry too much!) I just wasn't sure that Christopher REALLY understood, hence the reason nothing was said.

With mounting concerns, Jon made arrangements for me and Christopher to meet with his mom today.

Why his mom you ask?!

His mom, for 25 years taught a class for children that wanted to be Baptized. She taught what salvation and believing in Jesus meant and why being Baptized is important and what it symbolizes. Jon thought she might could explain things to Christopher and answer some of my questions and ease my "worries."

She did just that.

(No wonder satan has been working so hard to discourage us!)

In answering one of my questions about Christopher's understanding, she asked, "Christopher, do you know what 2 + 2 equals." He said, "yes." She then said to me, "See, he knows the basics in math because he has been taught the basics in math. You wouldn't expect him to know x + y ='s z. He shouldn't be expected to know everything about Jesus because he has to be taught." She then asked, "Did you know everything you know overnight? Of course not, it's a process."

That's when the light bulb came on! It was a "duh" moment for me, that made me smile and thank the Lord for revealing Himself to my son.

I also realized just because my son has many disorders, does not mean he is not capable of understanding. I was struggling with "melt downs" and how a child with these anger issues could have Jesus in their hearts. I just couldn't "figure it out." The fact is, I don't have to.

At the end of the conversation, I walked away, today, knowing on September 23, 2011, my son asked Jesus into his heart.

THAT makes this momma's heart

Rubber Bands

2011-09-27T16:07:00.001-05:00

OK, I'm being stretched.

Ever feel like a rubber band that has lost all its elasticity? Or have a pair of pants the elastic has been stretched over and over until one day there is nothing but over stretched pants that serve no purpose at all?

Well that is me. This very moment. My faith is being stretched. I feel like a rubber band serving no purpose at all.

A week and a half ago my car broke down. Today, Chris' broke down, and now, our A/C is out, again. What the heck.

I don't get it. I really don't.

I can't think past the frustration and fear, so while I am struggling to claim the victories through this, would you please claim them for me?

Thanks,

Stacey

The Three R's

2011-09-25T14:16:00.000-05:00

Right in the middle of worship this morning, with another couple thousand people around, the Lord spoke directly to my heart.

He gave me three words that I quickly wrote down so I wouldn't forget them.

1. Redeemer. He reminded me that He Redeemed me. The Webster Dictionary defines the word, redeemed as to be freed from distress or harm, to free from captivity by payment of ransom. Jesus paid the the price for me, for you, on Calvary. John 3:16 says, "For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." Do you see how valuable that makes you??!!

2. Restorer. He not only restored my life when He saved me, but He restored my family. All the lies, burnded bridges, manipulation were torn down. Don't hear me say there aren't still consequences for those sins, because there are consequences to every sin, but He has restored my relationships with my family. Joel 2:25 says, "I will restore the years the locust have eaten. . . . "

3. Rest. He is my rest. Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, (Stacey!) ALL who are weary and heavy laiden, and I will give you (Stacey!) rest!."

So thankful for those sweet whispers . . . . .

Continuing, To Walk In Victory,

Stacey

He has made everything beautiful in it's own time . . . .

2011-09-22T14:48:00.000-05:00

Chistopher has had a bad two days, actually a bad two weeks (over-all). Over the last six weeks we have been gradually decreasing Christopher's anxiety medication. The reason for the decrease is because it is known to increase restless legs; and with Christopher's sleeping disorder and restless legs, we needed to make the transition off. He had been on the medication for four years.

We noticed last week everything was making him cry. Nothing in particular set them off, just tears after tears after tears. It was manageable, we got through it, but it was exhausting. It never crossed my mind it could possibly be the medication changes and I still can't say that is what it was.

As of today, he has been completely off the anxiety medication for two days.

Christopher had a complete melt down this morning which included the emotion, full sensory and violence. He went from hiding under the corner under the table while screaming to running through the house and out the door screaming at the top of his lungs that he hates us and we are idiots. During his rage he yelled at me, "I will stab you!"

These melt downs start and end in the blink of an eye. This one lasted right at 47 minutes. Once he came out of the melt down, he allowed me to touch him and hold him in my arms.

We rocked in the recliner.

As I turned on the television, he saw a rainbow. I don't know what channel it was on, but scriptures were on the screen. As I read the scriptures out loud I began praying them over our lives. When the scriptures stopped a song playing was that sounded like, "glue me together Lord. . . " and then another scripture appeared, it was Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in it's own time."

How perfect is the timing of such a sweet message. While I already see my son as beautiful, I know He is working in our life situation to bring about something even better than we can even imagine.

Where does my hope come from? My hope, my strength, comes from the Lord ;)

Continuing to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Clouds Cause Distortion Of The Father . . .

2011-09-22T10:37:00.000-05:00

Christopher's birthday was Monday. God was gracious to us. He not only provided for his birthday gift, but he granted me favor with my AVON sales that allowed us to take him to Chuck E. Cheese. The family met us there, and thankfully, our family understands our situation. While they had to pay their own way, they came to celebrate this special day with us. That blesses this momma's heart.

Towards the middle of the evening, Chris had to leave to get him and Kayla to class. Mom and Aunt Char left shortly after and Michelle and her family shortly after that.

Kaitlyn still had boocoo's of tokens left. While she continued to play I took Christopher to get his many tickets counted by the chomper. Once he got his prizes, it was Kaitlyn's turn.

After getting all of Kaitlyn's tickets counted, I hear a piercing cry for, "MOMMY!!!!!!" It continues over and over. While I could see Christopher, and while the walk (OK, run) to where he was, was not far, it seemed like a lifetime to get to him. He was running frantically in all directions looking for me. He thought I left him. As we embraced, I assured him I would never, ever, ever leave him, EVER! In my heart, the thought, that he ACTUALLY thought I would leave him, absolutely broke my heart.

Later that evening, either in a dream or a reflection of the evening, the Lord spoke to my soul.

I recently went through a period of approximately two years where I thought the Lord had left me. I was angry, hurt, frustrated, and I wanted answers to all the reason He just stood aside and "let" things happen to me and my family.

What the Lord revealed to me are clouds. That's right, clouds. While I was frantically running around crying out, "Lord, where are you? Lord, where are you? Lord, WHERE ARE YOU?!" He could see me (just as I could see Christopher), but I couldn't see Him (just as Christopher couldn't see me).

The Lord showed me how much pain He must have experienced for His child, me, to claim 'He had abandoned me.' I can make this assumption because of the pain I felt when my child thought I had abandoned him. It absolutely broke my heart.

He then revealed truths to me.

Worry, doubt, confusion, bitterness, hatred, anger, jealousy, envy (yes, they are different), all these "emotions" caused cloudiness in my path of seeing the Lord. The view to the Father becomes distorted, hence the "feeling" of abandonment.
The facts are many:
~Once you are a child of King Jesus, He never leaves you. Hebrews 13:5 says, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

~The Lord is always going before me. Deuteronomy 31:8, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

~Worry shows my lack of faith. Matthew 6:25-34, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

~Doubting causes disruption. James 1:6, "But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

~Confusion comes from satan. I Corinthians 14:33, "for God is not a God of confusion but of peace . . "

~Bitterness keeps me in bondage. Acts 8:32, "For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity.”

~Hatred stirs up strife! Proverbs 10:12, "Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions."

~Anger shows 'lack of good sense.' Proverbs 14:29, "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly."

~Jealousy brings rages. Proverbs 6:34, "For jealousy enrages a man . . . . "

~Envy brings slander. Christ was crucified because of envy. Mark 15:10, "For he was aware that the chief priests had handed Him over because of envy."

Gee, no wonder I couldn't see the Lord! All these feelings literally clouded my thinking, my judgement, my focus AND affected my obedience!

While time has healed, no, not time, the Lord has healed many of the areas that brought on these "feelings," I have not surrendered them all. Fear, is a big one, that I didn't even mention. I know this because, not only is that "cloud" there keeping me from seeing my Father as He yearns to be seen, but it shows through my obedience . . . or lack of obedience, especially in my eating.

I weigh in tomorrow for the first time in five weeks (since my surgery). I have had many bad weeks, some "so-so" weeks, good days and bad days. Just yesterday I caved in to the aroma of Dorito's that loomed in the air . . . oh my! Not just one handful, but two. Then this morning, at 2:22, I woke up starving! Yes, the Brown Sugar and Cinammon Pop Tart with an 8 oz glass of fat free (does that count towards being good?!) milk was scrumptious AND YES! Confession is definitely good for the soul! :)

While I know I will see several pounds added to my last weigh in, as I can "feel" the bloated and stuffy feeling one gets from gorging, my hope and prayer is that He will use the weight gain and what He has shown me this morning, to help me re-gain my focus, trust Him more, surrender my fear, and to remember, "Obedience is doing, even when you don't feel like it!"

Continuing, To Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Pine Summit Auction to Support Dekalb County Tornado Victims

2011-09-21T14:46:00.000-05:00

There are still MANY needs. Your participation in this auction will help the victims of the devastating tornadoes that struck on April 27, 2011. Please scroll down to view the complete list of items to be auctioned.

ALL proceeds go toward DeKalb County, Alabama tornado survivors.

Charitable contribution forms will be issued from Ider Baptist Church.

AUCTION!!!

October 8^th @ 11:00 a.m.

Pine Summit Baptist Church

Activity Center

1993 Lexus - runs great, cold air!

18th Century Furniture

Antique Hall Tree

Living Room Set

Dining Room Table

Bedroom Set without Mattresses

Chest of Drawers

Chaise Lounger

Leather Recliner & 2 Fabric Recliners

Rocking Chairs

Dresser with Mirror

Lamps

Decorative Easel

Several Televisions

Wicker Coffee Table

End Tables

Desks - Office & Computer

Bookcases & File Cabinets

Yamaha Keyboard

Quilts (new)

Hand Sewn Quilt Tops

Machine Sewn Quilt Tops

Dishes - new

Sewing Machine with Case

Sewing Machine with Stand

Little Tykes Toy box

Photographic Equipment

Chainsaw & Table Saw

Tools

Block & Tackle

Sander

Trailer Axle

Lawn Tractor & Riding Lawn Mower

His & Her Bicycles

Exercise Equipment

Bicycle Rack

Fishing Equipment

Large Parrot Cage

Medium Dog Kennel

Set of Shocks

Washer & Dryer (2 sets)

Maytag Chest Freezer

Small Kitchen Appliances

Microwaves

Dale Earnhardt Model Car Collection

Cedar Slat Bench

2 Playpens

There are hundreds of items! Too numerous to mention!!

Preview Friday, Oct. 7th 1:00-4:00 PM and Saturday, Oct. 8th 10:00-11:00 AM.

Private viewings by appointment - call Ray McKnight at 554-6905.

InLoving Memory of those who lost their lives as a result of the April 27, 2011,tornadoes.

DeKalb County tornadocasualties:

ChelsieBlack, 20, Higdon
Charlotte Bludsworth, 36, Rainsville
Belinda Boatner, 67, Higdon

EddieJoe Bobbitt, 71, Rainsville
Gene Bullock, 65, Rainsville
Marcella Bullock, 64, Rainsville
Jewell Ewing, 73, Higdon
Emma Ferguson, 6, Sylvania
Jeremy Ferguson, 34, Sylvania
Tawnya Ferguson, 32, Sylvania

CarolLisa Fox, 50, Rainsville
Hannah Goins, 3, Rainsville
Kenneth Graham, 56, Valley Head
Linda Graham, 61, Valley Head
Ruth “Violet” Hairston, 90, Henegar
Harold Harcrow, 74, Rainsville
Patricia Harcrow, 75, Rainsville
Jody Huizenga, 28, Sylvania
Lethel Izell, 86, Rainsville
Jimmy Michael Kilgore, 48, Sylvania
Courtney McGaha, 15, Rainsville
William “Buddy” Michaels, 70, Higdon
Martha Michaels, 72, Higdon
Eulah Miller, 80, Fyffe
Ida Ott, 87, Henegar
Timothy Ott, 53, Henegar
Ester Rosson, 81, Rainsville
Peggy Sparks, 55, Rainsville
Terry Tinker, 50, Higdon
Daniel Vermillion, 42, Rainsville
Jidal Vermillion, 44, Rainsville

JudithWhite, 63, Ider, killed in a fire caused by the storm
Wayne White, 68, Ider, killed in a fire caused by the storm
Herbert Wooten, 70, Rainsville
Juanita Wooten, 70, Rainsville

1,002 houses were damaged in some way and of those,301 were completely destroyed.

154 mobile homes were damaged and, of those, 78were completely destroyed.

46 businesses were damaged and, of those, 19 werecompletely destroyed.

538 barns, sheds or other outbuildings were damagedand, of those, 267 were completely destroyed.

63 chicken houses were damaged and, of those, 37were completely destroyed.

Reflecting, On Hurrican Ivan . . .

2011-09-16T08:28:00.005-05:00

Seven years ago today Hurricane Ivan struck.

We all had different impacts from that storm. My memories are a little different that the devastation that struck.

My due date to deliver Christopher was September 17th.

Instead of leaving, we stayed to be with mother so she wouldn't be alone.

Everyone slept through the storm, except me.

I sat up all night praying for my baby, that if something happened, God would keep him safe. My body had tried to abort my Christopher every month. He was a miracle to make it that long.

Once the storm passed (and for the three days that followed), it was the first time during the entire pregnancy I didn't worry about him. I was camping (as we all were) while living in a house! I cooked on the Coleman stove, the grill, and just took it one step at a time.

I woke up at 2:20 a.m. on the 19th and something was wrong. No movement. We had no phone service the entire three days, but God allowed me to reach someone in Labor and Delivery that morning. We were stopped by police because of the curfew.

Christopher was born weighing in at a whopping 10lbs 2oz by natural childbirth at 7:53 a.m. just days after Ivan.

How do I know God has a plan for my Christopher? Because of my body tring to reject him during the entire pregnancy. That is why I know God has a remarkable plan for my Christopher.

Psalm 139 . . .

Just had to share :)

Continuing to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

A Little Good News . . . . Nothing Lost Outreach

2011-09-15T08:46:00.001-05:00

While driving home one day a few weeks ago, the Lord spoke to my heart after hearing over and over all the bad news from the day. He impressed it on my heart to write about stories of Hope.

{As I type this I am reminded of the old Anne Murray song, (take a few seconds and scroll down to turn off the music player) A Little Good News. I just listened to it again . . . . doesn't it get discouraging hearing negative after negative all day long?!}

I put a plea out on facebook that if anyone knew of any local stories of hope, to please let me know.

One person spoke up, "Nothing Lost Outreach."

After doing some research to see exactly what this ministry does, I made a call. I felt awkward explaining what the Lord had put on my heart to do, but it was received graciously!

I spent this past Sunday afternoon talking, asking questions, watching, listening and taking pictures of the homeless in Escambia County and the ones that have been called to serve them.

As I drove to Ensley Baptist Church, anxiety filled my every being. I had butterflies. I was nervous and unsure of how I would be received. My prayer all the way there was, "Why am I so nervous? Why am I so nervous? Why am I so nervous?!"

THE VERY SECOND I OPENED THE DOORS, my anxiety was gone. God put a friend from Pine Summit Baptist Church right there in my path! I had no idea he would be there, in fact, it was his wife that told me of he ministry! He quickly took me around, introducing me to the many (and I mean many) volunteers. Can you imagine my surprise, when God put someone else there I know . . . and from Olive! Tony Olesky with the Baptist Collegiate Ministry walks in! I could not believe it! God gave me not just one, but two familiar faces to help me walk in obedience! I was simply in awe.

Let me give you a little history about "Nothing Lost Outreach." The name of this ministry comes from the feeding of five thousand Matthew 14:13-21 when Jesus tells his disciples to collect what is left over . . . leave nothing (no one) behind. It started as a burden and vision to feed the homeless once a month (February 2011) and after the first feeding, went to every week.

Between 60 to 100 homeless people are fed every Sunday. They are not only fed a hot meal, but SERVED a hot meal. That's right, they don't go through the line like a buffet style, they are SERVED their meal by the volunteers. These meals are served on heavy duty paper plates and eaten with plastic utensils. Not only are they fead the delicious hot meal, but each person is given a sack lunch to take with them. The sack lunch includes a sandwich, fruit cup, and some sort of Little Debbie snack cakes.

The Pensacola Bay Baptist Association allows them to use their portable shower trailer that is used in Disaster Relief Situations. Approximately 25 to 40 people take showers weekly. One long term goal is to have a building with ten (10) shower stalls built on the property of Ensley First Baptist Church because when a disaster arrives the trailer will not be available.

Point Baptist Church plays a major role, and if I have my facts correct, partners with Ensley First Baptist Church to make this happen. In fact, there are several partners with this great ministry! You can view the list of partners on Nothing Lost Outreach's web site. Point Baptist Church takes clothing orders for those in need of clothes, shoes, socks, underwear. The orders are filled and returned two weeks later in a brown bag with a first name and last name initial.

One thing that sets this ministry apart is the transportation. Vans are taken into the homeless camps and the homeless are brought in. They don't sit back and wait for them to show up, they go get them. Does every one come, no. But their numbers are growing.

Every week 40 to 50 toiletry kits are given out. These kits include toothbrushes, razors, deodorants, toothpaste, wipes, mini lotions, mini shampoo bottles, and sometimes wash clothes.

Since this ministry started in February of 2011, they have come to see ten (10) people come to know the Lord!

Between the hour of 4 and 5, Jesus is praised by song and by word! This past week, Tony Olesky had approximately 30 young adults there to praise Jesus by scripture readings, skits, and song. Tony then lead us in a devotional on prayer. My heart was blessed as just an hour before the time of worship, one of the team leaders shared that they need "pray-ers." People to come and pray one on one with people. When Tony stood up and said, "We are going to talk about prayer today," I was covered in "awe-bumps!" I knew right then and there that I was in the ministry I was supposed to be in. I will be at Ensley First Baptist Church, again, this Sunday, praying. I will pray for whoever wants prayer. PLEASE, if God has burdened your heart for the homeless, we need your help to come take prayer request, and to pray.

I know I have given you much information, but all ministries have a need. I could not believe the amount of donations given and yet the needs are so many. The Lord has been faithful in providing for them! Some of the needs I am about to list are sold through AVON. IF you are willing to help provide, then I will sell the items I have access to at my cost. I will not benefit from one single penny if you will help. I will put an asterik (*) next to the items I have access to.

Kitchen Needs:

Chinette Divided Plates

10oz cups

Salad Bowls

Plastic Utensil Kits

Napkins

Brown Paper Bags

Fruit Cups

Little Debbie Snacks

Non-Perishable Food Items

Monetary Gifts

Gift Cards to Wal-Mart/Sams

Toiletry Kits:

Wash clothes

Toothbrushes

Razors

Deodorants*

Toothpaste

Wipes

Mini Shampoo's*

Mini Lotions*

Chapstick*

Shower Soap*

Care Packages:

Bug Spray*

Ponchos

Tarps

Tents

Blankets

Coats

Sleeping Bags

Clothing Donations (as needed)

Bicycles

Men's Socks

Men's Underwear

T-Shirts (Men & Women)

Band-Aids

Peroxide

Foot Spray*

Jeans

Toys for Young Children

Ministry Needs:

Church van broke down; need mechanics or help with repair

A Medical Team is needed! Someone to check feet, cuts, blood pressure, basic medical attention! If you are a doctor, or nurse or know someone in the medical field that could come out please contact

Paul at 850-375-7396 or Pastor Jeff at 850-530-2429

Laundry Detergent (for towels and washclothes that are cleaned weekly)
Ziploc Bags for the Toiletry Kits

BIBLES!!!

As you can see the needs are many; but God has provided for this ministry in unbelievable ways.

If you are available to join me in praying on Sunday, please let me know.

I have added a few pictures throughout, but am adding more below. These faces . . . . these people, are some one's son, or daughter, mommy or daddy, or even grandparent; but more important, they are valuable and important to my King.

PLEASE, if you are available to come serve, to pray, donate items, or provide monetarily, please contact Pastor Jeff at 850-530-2429 or Paul at 850-375-7396 and spread a little good news, today!

Continuing,to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

I Just LOVE The Word, "But!"

2011-09-14T17:56:00.000-05:00

I entered a writing contest recently. My hopes were high as the winner would receive a complete book publishing offer and I so want my book published.

To make a long, story short, I didn't win. In fact, I didn't even place. I know, so discouraging.

One thing is for sure, the story I submitted was 'my story.' The one the Lord gave me. IF He wants my book published, it will happen in His timing, and not mine, and I am definitely OK with that!

I'm thankful for the days I spent reflecting and remembering what the Lord first did for me some thirteen years ago.

Most of you know where I come from. My hope is that maybe someone will read it that doesn't know Jesus as Lord, and maybe, just maybe, the words I wrote will be used to plant a seed; a seed that will grow and grow and take root into the powerful name of King Jesus.

This, is my story . . . . . . .

For 28 years I was foolish, disobedient, deceived andenslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. I lived in malice and envy,being hated and hating one another. BUT,when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved me, not becauseof any righteous things I had done, but because of his mercy. He saved methrough the washing of rebirth and the renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom hepoured out on me generously through Jesus Christ my Savior, so that, havingbeen justified by his grace, I might become heir having the hope of eternallife (Titus 3:3-7).

I was a drunk, an adulterer, a manipulator, a thief, a liar,and a mother of a 4 year old child. Ilost everything and had nowhere to go.

At the age of 28, On July 7th, 1998, after a series ofevents that brought me to desperation, I quit drinking, smoking and doingdrugs.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had made a mess of my life. I was tired of living a life of lies. I was ready for a change.

I ended up at a place called Olive Baptist, on the corner of“Hurt and Hope.” It was then I wasintroduced to The Most Excellent Way Ministry (a Christ-centered Drug andAlcohol Support Group).

During these meetings I began realizing the need for Jesusin my heart. For months, I kept tryingto “fix” myself. I kept telling God,“Let ME ‘fix’ this and then I will come to you.”

On October 19th, 1998, in my 1970’s gold chair, in my 640square foot apartment, I read a piece of paper my friend had given me with theplan of salvation on it.

It read:

Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of theglory of God.”

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his onlybegotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but haveeverlasting life.”

Romans 10:9&10;, “that if you confess with your mouthJesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, youwill be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting inrighteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.”

Lord I am a sinner. Ibelieve you sent Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. I believe in His death and Hisresurrection. I believe that through HimI may have eternal life. I ask you toforgive me of my sins and come into my heart. Amen.

When I first read through the scriptures and prayer, I readfor understanding to see what this really meant, what was REALLY going to berequired of me.

I remember thinking, “reading this does not ‘save’ me.”

I re-read Romans 10:9&10;, “that if you confess withyour mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him fromthe dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting inrighteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.”

I said to God, “I can’t do this on my own. I don’t want to be one of those people thatlive one way during the week and be somebody else at church. I want to be real. My family is going to think I have gone offthe deep end, Lord. I can’t do itwithout you. It’s all or nothing.”

It was then, the third time I read the scriptures and theprayer, that I believed in my heart that Jesus was Lord. What was required of me, nothing butbelieving. Jesus had already made thesacrifice.

My life has neverbeen the same. Perfect, oh gracious no;without trials and hardships, no way. But with Him and through Him, He hasgiven me victory and taught me lessons through each one.

In addition to the restoration of my family in the lastthirteen years, I’ve witnessed rededication to the Lord by my mom andaunt. My daughter and brother have alsocome to know the Lord as their Savior. Ihave also been given a husband and two additional children.

My hope and prayer this day, this very moment, is that ifyou do not know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, that you will know Him today.

He will change your life forever.

Continuing, To Walk In Victory,

Stacey

In case you didn't get the reason for the title of this post, it is because of the word, 'but' in Titus 3: 3-7. "I once as foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. I lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. BUT . . . . God.

Wow. Pretty cool, hugh! Guess what! HE can do the same for you!

Walking, In The Light

2011-09-13T10:11:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note about how important detail is to my God.

This morning's reading from "Jesus Calling," referred to judging. NOT just about being judgemental towards others, but to ourselves. I had never thought about it like that; but sometimes we really can be our worse critics!

I was reminded the purpose of why I was created, to KNOW Him and to LIVE in rich communication with Him. That by me continually judging and being self critical, I am putting a hold on what He can do!

One of the scripture readings from this morning came from . . . . oh my goodness. This very second, when I went to double check the scripture reference, I realized, while I read the devotion for today, I read and studied the scriptures for TOMORROW!

This is even "WOWER" than I thought! See, the scripture reference I read is from Psalm 89:15, "Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord."

The REASON this is so WOW is because of our mail. Yes, our mail. I forgot to check it last night. When my husband came in from taking Kaitlyn to school this morning, he had a hand full of mail. In it was a card from a friend. Inside the card was a card. It read, "I will walk with You, Lord, through the enemy's attack, knowing that YOUR LIGHT on my path signals my certain victory." (Stormie Omartian).

OH MY GOSH! DO YOU GET IT?! God purposely led me to read the wrong (but correct) scripture for today, He purposely let me forget to get my mail (so I would read it this morning WITH the WRONG scripture!) OH MY GOODNESS!

As I pause and take it all in, because literally as I've been typing the Lord revealed this all to me, I am overwhelmed with emotion as to how much my God loves me. I don't say that arrogantly, but thankfully.

We are going through a tough time. We are months away from losing, having to sell our home. I've shared this with very few.   After sharing this with my friend, weight loss mentor, and spiritual trainer (I bet she didn't know she was all that! lol) I received a link to this web site. Tears flowed as the Lord spoke to my heart and showed Himself to me. When people would ask me how I am, my answer, "I'm waiting on my ram."

Again, just yesterday, a friend called me. She had been out of town.  She began to share with me how God had put me on her heart all week. The more she prayed for me, the more the Lord brought to mind Abraham and Isaac (if you read the link to the web site you should be covered in awe right now! So if you didn't read it, go read it now!). She said, "Stacey, pray that God would show you step by step, not the entire picture. Do what Abraham did with Isaac. Abraham trusted God each step of the way. Abraham didn't know the end of the store, but He knew to take the next step."

All I can do is sigh in aweness and comfort right now. I am out of words. Speechless.

I will end in this. I don't know what it is you are going through, but what I do know is that it is real. No one else 'might not get it,' it might seem petty to some and unbelievable to others, but to you it is real. May I encourage you today to know that you are valuable. You are precious. Nothing you are going through has caught Him by surprise. He has a plan.  If something is important to you, I can assure you, it is important to Him.

One of my favorite scriptures; one the Lord used to promote healing through the first two years of sobriety is Genesis 50:20. He has reminded me of this scripture three times this week (and it's only Tuesday!).

Genesis 50:20 says, "What others meant for evil against you, God means it for good, to bring about His glory." (That is my translation . . . so please look it up for yourself.) In recent years, the Lord revealed to me verse 21 of that same chapter. It reads, "I will provide for you and your little ones."

Seek His face. Walk in His light. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you this very moment. I did this morning, and as you can see, He showed up.

Jeremiah 29:13, "You will find me, when you seek me with all your heart."

Continuing, to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Where Were You, When the World Stopped Turning . . . .

2011-09-11T11:32:00.000-05:00

I was the Administrative Assistant to Dave Corson at Olive Baptist Church.

I was socializing with Ms. Marjorie at the front desk before our staff meeting.

Kurt Detzler came on the radio telling Ms. Marjorie to turn on the television.

Moments later, I knocked on Pastor's door, "Pastor, turn on your t.v. An airplane has hit one of the twin towers."

I was grief stricken. I called my family. I remember the urgency to make sure they knew how much I loved them. I remember watching the sky the rest of the day. "Were there more to come?" I wondered. I remember asking God, "What is going on?!"

Fear. Grief. Confusion. Heartache. Devastation. That, is what I remember.

Today, my church honored the men and women who serve our country, the first responders to the horrific scene, and those retired from active duty as well.

We reflected. We remembered. We honored.

I remember the night of that Tuesday on 9-11. The church was filled. People were crying, looking for answers.

As I type these words I am covered in goosebumps.

I remember nothing of the service, except for two things. People were flooding in in droves, and Ms. Liz.

**Please scroll down and turn off the music player to listen to the following songs.**

Ms. Liz was beginning to sing, God Bless America. She will filled with so much heartache after a few words and a crackle in her voice that she said, "I just don't think I can on do this. Ya'll are just gonna have to help me."  It was then we all stood, and sang this beautiful song, together.

This morning, Pastor encouraged us to not only remember the events of 9-11; but to remember "The One."

His name, is Jesus.

He came to save the world from sin so that we might have eternal life. He wasn't surprised by any of the events of 9-11.  He is, the Great I Am. He is the Past. He is the Present. He is the Future.

Our closing song from service this morning is one of my many favorites. Music is the passion of my soul. This one . . . oh my! BUT, it will only ignite a passion within you if you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Take a minute to listen to this amazing song and REMEMBER His Faithfulness!

We Will Remember (This is not our choir, but the closest rendition to what ours did this morning.)

Do you remember the day . . . . the day He saved you? If you don't know Him, you can do so today.

Remembering ALL He has done for me,

Stacey

**As I was editing this, I remembered a song written by Alan Jackson. When I first heard the song I remember how much it defined the wonders I had after the tragedy. I haven't cried over the last few days, I wouldn't allow it as I felt it would leave me vulnerable.  Hearing these words though, brought the emotion back, the realness. Just thought I'd share it.

Where Were You . . When the World Stopped Turning?

"Father I pray for the men and women, boys and girls, mommy's and daddy's, aunts and uncles, . . . grandparents and friends affected by this day. Comfort them in ways only You can. Reveal yourself to them. Put people in their path that know You and can share the gospel with them. Lord, use me where you see fit. Forgive me for doubting. Forgive me for questioning. Use me today in fullness of you. So be it. Amen."